Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 31 "Maya Moon"Murder Mystery
57 total reviews
Comment from chasennov
'Along The Jericho Road.' featuring 'Maya Moon,' is a well formulated chapter which reads as smooth as glass. The piece is also well structured and I would be interested in reading more next time. Well done.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2013
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'Along The Jericho Road.' featuring 'Maya Moon,' is a well formulated chapter which reads as smooth as glass. The piece is also well structured and I would be interested in reading more next time. Well done.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2013
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Thank you so much chasennov. I really appreciate your support and gracious review! Warmest regards, Bev
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You're welcome, Be.
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Oh gross, eyeballs in a jar. One of my greatest fears is finding something like that. As always this is superbly written. But it's driving me crazy. Hurry up with the next one! =} Well done again Bev.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2013
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Oh gross, eyeballs in a jar. One of my greatest fears is finding something like that. As always this is superbly written. But it's driving me crazy. Hurry up with the next one! =} Well done again Bev.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2013
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Hi, Rox. I wish I were the prolific kind of writer that can churn out chapters, unfortunately I'm not LOL.
Thanks so much for hanging in there with me and for your gracious review.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from wordsfromsue
Holy s**t Batman! What a freaking, brilliantly written chapter. The killer appears insane, I think.... is insane when you're driven by a demon or is that something else? This guy is certainly no dummy. The killer reminds me of Jeffrey Dalmer.
Did I ever tell you I was acquainted with a serial killer? Not sure what made me think of him. When we were late teens, early twenties, my friend was a dance teacher for Arthur Murray Studios. Her student was Donald Harvey. I met him a few times. He had this unnerving way of staring right through you like a bird of prey. He worked in hospitals. When it was revealed that he was a serial killer, you can imagine our reactions. Still gives me chills.
Bev, you outdid yourself with this chapter!
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2013
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Holy s**t Batman! What a freaking, brilliantly written chapter. The killer appears insane, I think.... is insane when you're driven by a demon or is that something else? This guy is certainly no dummy. The killer reminds me of Jeffrey Dalmer.
Did I ever tell you I was acquainted with a serial killer? Not sure what made me think of him. When we were late teens, early twenties, my friend was a dance teacher for Arthur Murray Studios. Her student was Donald Harvey. I met him a few times. He had this unnerving way of staring right through you like a bird of prey. He worked in hospitals. When it was revealed that he was a serial killer, you can imagine our reactions. Still gives me chills.
Bev, you outdid yourself with this chapter!
Comment Written 09-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2013
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Hi, Sue. I am fascinated by the fact you knew a serial killer. Wow, that must have had a major creep factor when you found out the truth about him. I think folks sense something about these killers, generally they just shun them.
Thanks for the great review. I'm thrilled it worked for you!! That means a lot to me. And your generosity is the cherry on top.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from Adri7enne
"Derek'S voice was even..." Add 'S for poss.
"A slow-spreading flush moved from Aaron's neck to THIS scalp when ..." HIS
Holy crap! This is getting pretty brutal. LOL! I'm squeemish as hell, Bev. Yikes! I didn't think I had to worry about that with you. You surprise me! LOL! I guess I can hang in there for a bit, but I generally speed read over the nasty bits.
Pretty ruthless, girl.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2013
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"Derek'S voice was even..." Add 'S for poss.
"A slow-spreading flush moved from Aaron's neck to THIS scalp when ..." HIS
Holy crap! This is getting pretty brutal. LOL! I'm squeemish as hell, Bev. Yikes! I didn't think I had to worry about that with you. You surprise me! LOL! I guess I can hang in there for a bit, but I generally speed read over the nasty bits.
Pretty ruthless, girl.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2013
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Hi, Adrienne. Sorry for the creep factor. Does it help any that he was already dead, because I really could have gone the other way LOL. The removal of eyeballs is a significant statement and I promise he will not eat them. Thanks for catching the spaggies and for your great review. I appreciate both!
Hugs, Bev
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Writingfundimension:
This got a bit eerie at the end. I fear losing my
eyesight more than most anything else as I get older,
so the thought of someone having their eyes removed,
even if they are already dead, made me flinch.
thanks for sharing
love,
jan
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2013
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Writingfundimension:
This got a bit eerie at the end. I fear losing my
eyesight more than most anything else as I get older,
so the thought of someone having their eyes removed,
even if they are already dead, made me flinch.
thanks for sharing
love,
jan
Comment Written 09-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2013
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Hi, Jan. Thank you for forging through to the end. I, too, dread any procedures on my eyes. Sure appreciate your gracious review.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from jjstar
Wow! Holy crap, Bev. You have completely outdone yourself. I've been thinking about the story as a whole and the incredible assortment of literary devices you've been able to incorporate. In addition, there have been so many different concepts presented...the mystique of religious beliefs, the Native American aura, suspense, horror, everything. And now you've come full circle, back to the realistic aspects of trying to solve the case. Just an exceptional write. Loved it!
"I shouldn't have to tell you how to do your job."---what an arrogant jerk!
I've been executing a background check on Father Brian," he began.===I had actually wondered when someone was going to think of that!
Derek flinched.===that speaks mounds!
Severing the six ocular muscles of the right eye, he lifted the organ with forceps and dropped it into the specimen container. He packed the orifice with surgical sponges and moved to detach the second eye.====ewwwwww...awesome detail!
The agony of invisible spikes being driven into his skull doubled him over. His hands flailed against the unseen tormenter. ===I actually gasped..out loud!
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2013
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Wow! Holy crap, Bev. You have completely outdone yourself. I've been thinking about the story as a whole and the incredible assortment of literary devices you've been able to incorporate. In addition, there have been so many different concepts presented...the mystique of religious beliefs, the Native American aura, suspense, horror, everything. And now you've come full circle, back to the realistic aspects of trying to solve the case. Just an exceptional write. Loved it!
"I shouldn't have to tell you how to do your job."---what an arrogant jerk!
I've been executing a background check on Father Brian," he began.===I had actually wondered when someone was going to think of that!
Derek flinched.===that speaks mounds!
Severing the six ocular muscles of the right eye, he lifted the organ with forceps and dropped it into the specimen container. He packed the orifice with surgical sponges and moved to detach the second eye.====ewwwwww...awesome detail!
The agony of invisible spikes being driven into his skull doubled him over. His hands flailed against the unseen tormenter. ===I actually gasped..out loud!
Comment Written 09-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2013
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Hi, JJ. I so appreciate this wonderful review. I'm especially grateful you noticed my intention to get back to the details of the investigation. It confirms that I am not losing my mind! LOL. Your generosity and support mean a lot to me. You've been kind to follow along and always offer just the encouragement I need.
Hugs, Bev
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Bev, this is one of the best out there. I love this book! Can't wait to buy it! Do you have a publisher you use, or do you post to Amazon?
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I'm not doing either, jj. When it's finished, my first act will be to get an editor. Thanks for asking, I'm very encouraged by your words, my friend. Hugs!
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Good! It needs to be published! It really wasn't a plug for editing..lol. I was just sayin.' :)
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Oh, I didn't think it was a plug. Though I was excited to read Gayle's post and see that you are part of her team. I've got a good feeling about that group. Awesome! Xxx Bev
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Yep, we're pretty excited. It looks like I'm going to be doing y/a. I hope I get a good novel like yours to edit pretty soon. I do miss writing my story though...pooey! :)
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Oh, does this mean you won't have time to continue your own novel, 'cause that would be a shame?
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Hopefully, we finished today. I'm hoping there are no more edits. The author keeps adding, changing, adding some more...sigh..but I think my part is done. :)
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That must feel good?! xxx Bev
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I'm free at last...this was a kid's story about gay aliens....arghhh....
Comment from Gungalo
This is really getting to the down and dirty level and something has happen soon. What is this business with the surgeon and eye? Hmmm,
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2013
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This is really getting to the down and dirty level and something has happen soon. What is this business with the surgeon and eye? Hmmm,
Comment Written 09-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2013
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Thanks so much, Gungalo. I appreciate your kind review. Bev
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Smile.
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:0)
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh Bev, the conclusion to this chapter is so creepy! Well done! And I loved the scene in the sheriff's office too - that will sure get anyone's blood boiling. I wanted to kick the door closed after him too. LOL. Simply wonderful. I didn't see a thing I'd change.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2013
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Oh Bev, the conclusion to this chapter is so creepy! Well done! And I loved the scene in the sheriff's office too - that will sure get anyone's blood boiling. I wanted to kick the door closed after him too. LOL. Simply wonderful. I didn't see a thing I'd change.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2013
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Hi, Dawn. Thank you so very much for this gracious and encouraging review. Hugs, Bev
Comment from God's Writer
A very interesting write little flower. You have such a beautiful mind. You kept me on the edge of my seat the whole story. I have painted several pictures on fanstory and would appreciate your opinion on how I can improve them. They are still promoted so you will get something for you effort. Also my deepest appreciation from me. Thank you for this wonderful story
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2013
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A very interesting write little flower. You have such a beautiful mind. You kept me on the edge of my seat the whole story. I have painted several pictures on fanstory and would appreciate your opinion on how I can improve them. They are still promoted so you will get something for you effort. Also my deepest appreciation from me. Thank you for this wonderful story
Comment Written 09-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2013
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Hi, Erick. Hey, thanks so much for your wonderful review! I really appreciate your kind words of support and generosity. I will be happy to look at your latest. You'll hear from me later tonight after dinner. Thanks again! Bev
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You're welcome.
Comment from J. Dark
Wow. Fabulously exciting writing, Bev! Your characters are cleverly and clearly established. The removal of the eyeballs was convincingly done and the coldness and madness of the assailant is palpable. Your writing is the only work that I have come across on this site which I feel guilty reviewing as I would genuinely pay to read your work!
Fabulous, Bev and I still intend to read this story from the beginning. My PC has broken down and I am reviewing on my mobile at present.
Genuinely looking forward to the next posting of this brilliantly written and gripping thriller.
Kindest of regards
Julie :-)
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2013
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Wow. Fabulously exciting writing, Bev! Your characters are cleverly and clearly established. The removal of the eyeballs was convincingly done and the coldness and madness of the assailant is palpable. Your writing is the only work that I have come across on this site which I feel guilty reviewing as I would genuinely pay to read your work!
Fabulous, Bev and I still intend to read this story from the beginning. My PC has broken down and I am reviewing on my mobile at present.
Genuinely looking forward to the next posting of this brilliantly written and gripping thriller.
Kindest of regards
Julie :-)
Comment Written 09-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2013
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Julie, you have put the biggest smile on my face. Seriously, your words came at a very good time and mean so much. Thanks so much for your support and generosity, my friend. Hugs, Bev
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You deserve it, Bev. I'm genuinely astounded by the high quality of your work. It sits highly amongst the very best. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. :-)
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You, too, Julie. And thank you once again!
:0) Bev