Reviews from

The Animal Doctor

Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "The New Horizon"
Love Among the Thorns

37 total reviews 
Comment from Gungalo
Excellent
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Boy this sure did take turn for the worse. No baby means he will not have to marry her. Sigh, why is he such a good catch. Must be in the looks.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
    If you could find the time to read the first couple of paragraphs in first chapter, his good looks are unmistakable. Also, there's an image of him in the first chapter. Then, tell me what you think. LOL
reply by Gungalo on 16-Jun-2013
    Oh that's right girl. I do remember it now. LOL
Comment from Eigle Rull
Excellent
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This piece was a wonderful piece of work. The dialog was very good. And your descriptions make it easy to picture the story in the reader's mind. I found no mistakes. This piece was excellent in every way. It was interesting and held my attention quite well. I really enjoyed reading this.

Always with respect,

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
    Thank you so much. I'm always nervous about spags. My eyes just seem to miss them. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Excellent
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Poor Nate. Poor Eva. We cannot help how we feel, and we cannot change it willing, either. It's sad, because if he COULD love her enough, they'd both be happy. Good chapter and looking forward to the next. :)

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
    Thank you so much. Many want me to make him a clear cut villain. But men are more complicated than that. Good people do good things, and bad things. Thank you for understanding them both.
reply by Phyllis Stewart on 16-Jun-2013
    Very true, and that's the mark of a good writer. The hero should have flaws to overcome, as should any main character. It makes them "real" so we can relate to them and care about what happens to them. :)
Comment from in777wr#
Excellent
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I like this story. Your message is communicated clearly. I guess that Nathan could not keep Margaret out of his mind. Eva's plan didn't work well either. This was well written and it held my attention.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
    I'm so glad you liked it my friend.
reply by in777wr# on 16-Jun-2013
    You are welcome.
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent
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Good dialogue that conveys the attitudes and emotions of your characters well
as they gossip and complain about the woman who jilted Nathan
Nate, are you sure you - add comma for direct address
Damn you, Margaret - add comma
what do you want me to do? - add question mark
You convey so well the heartbreak of being in love with a man who is still carrying a huge torch for the woman who dumped him years ago
Good character development throughout
Brooke

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
    Thank you Brooke. I'll take care of these corrections right away.
Comment from c_lucas
Excellent
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Some man have no concern for the woman's feelings. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
    I think he behaved very well under the circumstances. She lied to him.
reply by c_lucas on 16-Jun-2013
    She did not lie. She did not know the truth.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
    I think you missed something, lucas. She lied. I know; I wrote it.
reply by c_lucas on 16-Jun-2013
    "I'm so sorry to have to tell you this, Mrs. Mitchell, but you were never pregnant. I'm afraid you are experiencing early change of life."

    "But that's impossible. I'm just Thirty-nine. My mother was much older when she had me."

    "It doesn't happen to many women this early, but it does happen."

    Eva became so upset, she left the material she'd bought for her wedding dress in the doctor's office and rode home in a daze. She couldn't bear to tell Nathan the truth. She prayed somehow God would perform a miracle and she'd be pregnant.

    For two nights she wrestled with what to do until her brain seemed on fire. Finally, she sent her coachman with a message. When Nate arrived, she sat him down and told him she'd miscarried. Nathan's face went into blank mode and frowns stretched across his face. He pulled her onto his lap, wrapped his arms around her middle and pressed his face against her belly. Later, he'd call it his second most devastating loss since the death of his father.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
    "I'm so sorry to have to tell you this, Mrs.
    Thank you, exactly. How can you miscarry, if you were never pregnant.

    Mitchell, but you "were never pregnant." I'm afraid you are experiencing early change of life."

    When Nate arrived, she sat him down and told him she'd "miscarried."
reply by c_lucas on 16-Jun-2013
    I stand corrected.
Comment from marijmd
Excellent
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What Margret got married so quickly! Hmm that might have been a good chapter to read. Him seeing her courting and marrying another - gut wrenching but good.
Two years passed with Eva as his girl? I do feel pity for her - seems like she is picking the wrong man to love.

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 Comment Written 16-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
    I didn't want to draw that scene out with him watching her marry. I'll find a way to put little flash-backs of it in later chapters. I think that's the best way to handle it. Thank you for your review.