The Werewolf of Wall Street
Big business -- it's a dog eat dog world out there...77 total reviews
Comment from Alan K Pease
Your adaptation of DeCapri character is a direct expression of the script. The nuances of his power to make his underlings obey his wishes underlies the director ambition to create such a character - perhaps your own should you write the novel. Good writing and success in making your characters come to life.
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Your adaptation of DeCapri character is a direct expression of the script. The nuances of his power to make his underlings obey his wishes underlies the director ambition to create such a character - perhaps your own should you write the novel. Good writing and success in making your characters come to life.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2015
Comment from thee-name
Excellent chapter. Interesting writing. Seen no mistakes.
"Oh, don't go out tonight
for it's bound to take your life,
ther-r-r-r-re's a bad moon on the rise . . ."
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Excellent chapter. Interesting writing. Seen no mistakes.
"Oh, don't go out tonight
for it's bound to take your life,
ther-r-r-r-re's a bad moon on the rise . . ."
Comment Written 14-Jan-2015
Comment from nomi338
This is a very clever play on the original story. I have always believed that there has always been more than one way to tell a good story. If you start out with a good base story you can then twist and turn it in any way you choose to make it a totally different story with a totally different outcome. This is very , very good.
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This is a very clever play on the original story. I have always believed that there has always been more than one way to tell a good story. If you start out with a good base story you can then twist and turn it in any way you choose to make it a totally different story with a totally different outcome. This is very , very good.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2015
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
aaaaahhhhh where is my 6 when i need it?
Excellently done and a fun read.
Not sure where you were going but i couldn't stop till i got there.
No problems that i can see and i have read it twice. first to get a grip and the second to enjoy.
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aaaaahhhhh where is my 6 when i need it?
Excellently done and a fun read.
Not sure where you were going but i couldn't stop till i got there.
No problems that i can see and i have read it twice. first to get a grip and the second to enjoy.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2015
Comment from mfowler
Cool finish, with the song and the smirk.
You've upstaged Leonardo with this very clever flash. It's a whole new take on werewolves (did you know it was me you were talking to about my Mist story that won the vampire comp?)And I love it. The story is very clever and for such a short piece, you've got multiple scenes that make it feel like a movie. The wolf character is beautifully drawn through prose and dialogue. I hope you win. This is your field. The language in this reminded me what an exquisite wordsmith you can be when you put your mind to it. I loved: The behemoth Art Deco building known as the Bloodsworth Complex towered ominously among the more modern architecture of Lincoln Avenue. ..really made me want to drink in the words.
Having said that, this line seemed clunky:
You'll in turn jump from this floor after I've gone..I don't know exactly what to do with it, but it didn't feel right. Bit vague, but I had to say it.
Great story anyway.
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Cool finish, with the song and the smirk.
You've upstaged Leonardo with this very clever flash. It's a whole new take on werewolves (did you know it was me you were talking to about my Mist story that won the vampire comp?)And I love it. The story is very clever and for such a short piece, you've got multiple scenes that make it feel like a movie. The wolf character is beautifully drawn through prose and dialogue. I hope you win. This is your field. The language in this reminded me what an exquisite wordsmith you can be when you put your mind to it. I loved: The behemoth Art Deco building known as the Bloodsworth Complex towered ominously among the more modern architecture of Lincoln Avenue. ..really made me want to drink in the words.
Having said that, this line seemed clunky:
You'll in turn jump from this floor after I've gone..I don't know exactly what to do with it, but it didn't feel right. Bit vague, but I had to say it.
Great story anyway.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2015
Comment from write hand blue
Hi Dean, I found this to be a refreshingly different read.
Descriptions and dialogue are deceptively simple, I say deceptive because you leave it to the reader to experience the horror of working out/discovering what is happening.
Example:- 'Screams from somewhere overhead invaded his reverie'... Gives an indication of where he is chomping. LOL.
Descriptions of the building with two gargoyles establish the mood effectively.
I had to look up 'mucronate'. It may just me but it did interrupt the flow. Perhaps instead a reference to his nails scratching or squeaking across a surface. Just a thought.
I believe that a story written in the same style will be well received. I like the modern aspect, perhaps a plot set in the near future almost sci-fi. I'm just thinking aloud. LOL...
:) Mel.
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Hi Dean, I found this to be a refreshingly different read.
Descriptions and dialogue are deceptively simple, I say deceptive because you leave it to the reader to experience the horror of working out/discovering what is happening.
Example:- 'Screams from somewhere overhead invaded his reverie'... Gives an indication of where he is chomping. LOL.
Descriptions of the building with two gargoyles establish the mood effectively.
I had to look up 'mucronate'. It may just me but it did interrupt the flow. Perhaps instead a reference to his nails scratching or squeaking across a surface. Just a thought.
I believe that a story written in the same style will be well received. I like the modern aspect, perhaps a plot set in the near future almost sci-fi. I'm just thinking aloud. LOL...
:) Mel.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2015
Comment from anita1946
I do like a well written horror story, and this definitely fits the bill. It has it all, perfect description, menace and humour.
The word 'mucronate' irked a little, not having come across this before. (have to look it up!)
And the closing music was inspirational, and I should know. My first novel 'Bad Moon' was inspired by Credence Clearwater over twenty years ago!
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I do like a well written horror story, and this definitely fits the bill. It has it all, perfect description, menace and humour.
The word 'mucronate' irked a little, not having come across this before. (have to look it up!)
And the closing music was inspirational, and I should know. My first novel 'Bad Moon' was inspired by Credence Clearwater over twenty years ago!
Comment Written 14-Jan-2015
Comment from Michaelk
I could see this working as a novel. You have your smooth main character who has style and a definite air of mystery and darkness about him. He's already shown that he can be ruthless and arrogant. I could definitely see there being a bit of dark humor shining through here and there. Source material, there's plenty of sharks on wall street, I'm sure he could find some to feed on. I could see it as an evil vs evil theme.
The story was well done. Your character was despicable but still likable because he was so smooth and arrogant. I could see people reading just to see if he gets taken down a peg.
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I could see this working as a novel. You have your smooth main character who has style and a definite air of mystery and darkness about him. He's already shown that he can be ruthless and arrogant. I could definitely see there being a bit of dark humor shining through here and there. Source material, there's plenty of sharks on wall street, I'm sure he could find some to feed on. I could see it as an evil vs evil theme.
The story was well done. Your character was despicable but still likable because he was so smooth and arrogant. I could see people reading just to see if he gets taken down a peg.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2015
Comment from dmt1967
Wow my friend this was delightfully scary. You are indeed a master of the spooky and scary variety. I really enjoyed reading this one. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
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Wow my friend this was delightfully scary. You are indeed a master of the spooky and scary variety. I really enjoyed reading this one. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2015
Comment from jpduck
A werewolf with hypnotic powers -- I haven't come across that before, but then I am no great follower of the genre. A smoothly written piece, I thought.
One typo:
'perched low on the horizon, aug[u]menting the skyline.'
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A werewolf with hypnotic powers -- I haven't come across that before, but then I am no great follower of the genre. A smoothly written piece, I thought.
One typo:
'perched low on the horizon, aug[u]menting the skyline.'
Comment Written 14-Jan-2015