Jerry Jing-Jang and the Bears
another JJJ adventure52 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Cindy, this is an awesome poem about a cowboy snuggled in his bedroll nice and cozy. I almost felt like I was there. Good job!
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
  |
Cindy, this is an awesome poem about a cowboy snuggled in his bedroll nice and cozy. I almost felt like I was there. Good job!
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
-
It's high praise when I can put the reader at the scene. Thanks for this wonderful review.
Comment from closetpoetjester
Beary cool story in a poem and it sounds like the bears are a lot smarter than we humans give them credit for.
I loved the vernacular used in this and your amblin' rhymes were perfect for the story of the greedy bear who was clearly tempting fate to end up as steak but just happened to theive from a generous cowboy.
I like the optimism at the end. Although I'm sure plenty would have hoped Jerry Jing Jang sorted out that cotton pickin' pesky bear's little red wagon and had shot and eaten him instead haha
Well written...Cheers
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
|
Beary cool story in a poem and it sounds like the bears are a lot smarter than we humans give them credit for.
I loved the vernacular used in this and your amblin' rhymes were perfect for the story of the greedy bear who was clearly tempting fate to end up as steak but just happened to theive from a generous cowboy.
I like the optimism at the end. Although I'm sure plenty would have hoped Jerry Jing Jang sorted out that cotton pickin' pesky bear's little red wagon and had shot and eaten him instead haha
Well written...Cheers
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
-
Thanks. I try to keep JJJ's adventures suitable for children. He's one of the good guys, and he's resourceful. Yep, the bears were tempting fate, and they were lucky. Some other dude probably would have shot them. Glad you liked my little story poem.
Comment from LanceHill
Cindy,
This is a great piece from start to finish. The flow was smooth and rhyme pattern well. You have met the story in a poem perfectly. It kept my attention throughout. Have a great weekend. God bless.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
|
Cindy,
This is a great piece from start to finish. The flow was smooth and rhyme pattern well. You have met the story in a poem perfectly. It kept my attention throughout. Have a great weekend. God bless.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
-
Thanks. JJJ is such a fun character to write. Have a great weekend yourself.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
A well written and enjoyable poem, my friend. A good story and well done dialogue which I find it difficult to do in a poem. Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
|
A well written and enjoyable poem, my friend. A good story and well done dialogue which I find it difficult to do in a poem. Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 06-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
-
Thanks. Once I established the character his lingo wasn't too hard. Thanks for the wonderful review and the good wishes for the contest.
Comment from Thal1959
A very nice poetic story. The rhymes and the western vernacular are fine and charming. The story is interesting, though the rhythm staggers from time to time. By the way, I remarked in your poem, 'The Revenge of the Oysters" how I thought it might be about the Lewis Carroll poem, "The Walrus and the Carpenter."
Please feel free to scan my portfolio for, "The Oyster's Revenge," which is a sequel to, "The Walrus and the Carpenter."
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
|
A very nice poetic story. The rhymes and the western vernacular are fine and charming. The story is interesting, though the rhythm staggers from time to time. By the way, I remarked in your poem, 'The Revenge of the Oysters" how I thought it might be about the Lewis Carroll poem, "The Walrus and the Carpenter."
Please feel free to scan my portfolio for, "The Oyster's Revenge," which is a sequel to, "The Walrus and the Carpenter."
Comment Written 06-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
-
Thanks. If you liked Jerry Jing-Jang there are more of his adventures in my portfolio.
-
I'll take a long from time to time. Thanks.
Comment from MelB
Hi Cindy, this is a fun and creative poem about this cowboy in the roll and the bears. You did great with the lingo too!
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
|
Hi Cindy, this is a fun and creative poem about this cowboy in the roll and the bears. You did great with the lingo too!
Comment Written 06-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
-
Thanks. Glad you had fun with my poem.
Comment from patcelaw
Cindy, this is a wonderful poem about this here cowboy snuggled in his bedroll nice an snug. I so enjoyed reading the poem and was finding myself at the scene. Patricia
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
|
Cindy, this is a wonderful poem about this here cowboy snuggled in his bedroll nice an snug. I so enjoyed reading the poem and was finding myself at the scene. Patricia
Comment Written 06-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
-
Thanks. He's such a fun character to write. Glad you had fun with him.
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Cindy,
Firstly, just want to say how playful and enjoyable the read of this poem is.
But in saying that, you use punctuation, and yet you do not... capital letters where there shouldn't be... I guess what I'm trying to say, is, if you choose to use punctuation and capital letters, you should use it, not just selectively.
But all-in-all... a fun read with a great story... told in a very cute way... that I enjoyed reading very much.
With our thoughts we create,
a happy ending.
James vx's.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
|
Hi Cindy,
Firstly, just want to say how playful and enjoyable the read of this poem is.
But in saying that, you use punctuation, and yet you do not... capital letters where there shouldn't be... I guess what I'm trying to say, is, if you choose to use punctuation and capital letters, you should use it, not just selectively.
But all-in-all... a fun read with a great story... told in a very cute way... that I enjoyed reading very much.
With our thoughts we create,
a happy ending.
James vx's.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
-
Thanks. I'll have to have another look at that punctuation. Glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from mvbrooks
What a fun read. This would have been a good entry in the "longer poem" contest. The rhyme is delightful and the character, Jerry jing sang, is rather charming.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2017
|
What a fun read. This would have been a good entry in the "longer poem" contest. The rhyme is delightful and the character, Jerry jing sang, is rather charming.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2017
-
Thanks. I'd put it in the story poem contest. Did something go wrong? Anyway, I'm glad you liked JJJ.
-
I'm not sure--usually at the bottom, near author notes, it says 'contest entry' and includes a link to the contest description. This version did not have any notations about a contest. Consider looking in your portfolio and check the "contest tab" to see if it is an entry. Hope this is helpful.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
A very good poem. I've never read a western poem before, but there must be lots of them. I would guess that's where the campfire songs come from.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2017
|
A very good poem. I've never read a western poem before, but there must be lots of them. I would guess that's where the campfire songs come from.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2017
-
There are lots of JJJ adventures in my portfolio. He's a fun character to write. Thanks for the five.