Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 38 "Combat soldier"A book of Poetry & Writing
48 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
athiest - atheists - fix spelling and add an S
radios calls bursts - check that phrasing out
You have this categorized as prose - historical fiction, but you have it formatted like free verse poetry - which do you intend it to be?
You create atmosphere effectively with excellent descriptive detail and use of lots of jargon appropriate to that situation. This piece has strong emotional appeal as it takes the reader inside this war. Brooke
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
  |
athiest - atheists - fix spelling and add an S
radios calls bursts - check that phrasing out
You have this categorized as prose - historical fiction, but you have it formatted like free verse poetry - which do you intend it to be?
You create atmosphere effectively with excellent descriptive detail and use of lots of jargon appropriate to that situation. This piece has strong emotional appeal as it takes the reader inside this war. Brooke
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
-
thank you for reading Brooke
Comment from hoopinzero
First off let me just tell you that this is truly a great peice of writing. When I red this I felt like I was actualy in the war experiencing everything that the soldiers were. My grandfather was in WWW 2 and he would often tell me stories of his time over their and I have to say that I can allmost here these very words coming from his mouth. Great work. I look forward to reading more of you writings.
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
 |
First off let me just tell you that this is truly a great peice of writing. When I red this I felt like I was actualy in the war experiencing everything that the soldiers were. My grandfather was in WWW 2 and he would often tell me stories of his time over their and I have to say that I can allmost here these very words coming from his mouth. Great work. I look forward to reading more of you writings.
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
-
thank you
Comment from RADIO
Excellent write and very interesting
the way you told this. I've read much of these so called troubles still trying to understand all those undercurrents
that flowed through this time. You write as one who
has been there. I have ancestors from Northern Ireland
and also near Dublin.
Excellent writing, enjoyed your views.
Radio
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
|
Excellent write and very interesting
the way you told this. I've read much of these so called troubles still trying to understand all those undercurrents
that flowed through this time. You write as one who
has been there. I have ancestors from Northern Ireland
and also near Dublin.
Excellent writing, enjoyed your views.
Radio
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
-
thank you for reading Radio
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi deepwater,
At first I didn't care too much for the style you used to write this story. But the more I read the more I liked it. You have described in detail what it means to be a soldier at war. Well done, chey
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
|
Hi deepwater,
At first I didn't care too much for the style you used to write this story. But the more I read the more I liked it. You have described in detail what it means to be a soldier at war. Well done, chey
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
-
thank you
Comment from bhogg
Unusually written - I wasn't sure I was going to like, short snippets describing a larger picture. I've been in the military, and felt it was pretty descriptive of the nuance of getting ready. There are a lot more visible disturbances going on around the world, but you bring one up often forgotten. A couple of spags
Rubble (Rubber?)
athirst (athiest maybe?)
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
|
Unusually written - I wasn't sure I was going to like, short snippets describing a larger picture. I've been in the military, and felt it was pretty descriptive of the nuance of getting ready. There are a lot more visible disturbances going on around the world, but you bring one up often forgotten. A couple of spags
Rubble (Rubber?)
athirst (athiest maybe?)
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
-
Thank for the comments bh
Comment from AlvinTEthington
You capture very well the horrors of the war in Northern Ireland, which most of us have forgotten. It is good to remind readers, in this day of wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, of that war and the deaths it caused. Deathly quiet is a horrifying but all too true phrase.
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
|
You capture very well the horrors of the war in Northern Ireland, which most of us have forgotten. It is good to remind readers, in this day of wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, of that war and the deaths it caused. Deathly quiet is a horrifying but all too true phrase.
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
-
Thank you for reading Alvin
-
You're welcome.
Comment from Donna Thompson
Men on rooftops disappears (disappear) like ghosts,
only spag noted above.. great job of visualization.. well done. I loved the flow and description used.
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
|
Men on rooftops disappears (disappear) like ghosts,
only spag noted above.. great job of visualization.. well done. I loved the flow and description used.
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
-
thanks for reading Donna
Comment from kintesiegel
i like the technique that you used for this, that is, using various small events to describe the overall plot and action. nice jjob
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
|
i like the technique that you used for this, that is, using various small events to describe the overall plot and action. nice jjob
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
-
thank you