Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Part three chapter three"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
95 total reviews
Comment from axelbeariter
"A beautiful lady needs beautiful flowers."/Nice----They won't even consider him a grandchild."? That's a bit awkward. Try, They won't even consider him their grandchild."/You are setting up what rhe reader expects to be a relationship between Troy and Anna. Before you make it finally happen, Put some obstacles in their way to raise the tension. Fool the expectationers. (my made up word)/Your writing is on the mark as usual.
reply by the author on 02-May-2011
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"A beautiful lady needs beautiful flowers."/Nice----They won't even consider him a grandchild."? That's a bit awkward. Try, They won't even consider him their grandchild."/You are setting up what rhe reader expects to be a relationship between Troy and Anna. Before you make it finally happen, Put some obstacles in their way to raise the tension. Fool the expectationers. (my made up word)/Your writing is on the mark as usual.
Comment Written 02-May-2011
reply by the author on 02-May-2011
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There are going to be numerous obsticaled in Troy and Anna's way. First Bobby enters the picture and we still don't know Troy's big secret do we. We have about 50,000 pages left. Thank you for your kind review and catching my error.
Comment from Permelia
This story is so common with women- and after escaping the situation, so many of them go back- the reason "I love him.
My sister and her husband rescued one woman and her child at least 7 times, and each time she was beaten worse then the time before- and after even getting her in a "safe house" with the police protection, she went back. My sister never heard heard from her after that last time. I'm glad you listed the phone number.
reply by the author on 02-May-2011
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This story is so common with women- and after escaping the situation, so many of them go back- the reason "I love him.
My sister and her husband rescued one woman and her child at least 7 times, and each time she was beaten worse then the time before- and after even getting her in a "safe house" with the police protection, she went back. My sister never heard heard from her after that last time. I'm glad you listed the phone number.
Comment Written 02-May-2011
reply by the author on 02-May-2011
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Many women feel it's better to stay than try to make it on the outside. Their self-esteem is horrible. Thank you for your insight and the kind review.
Comment from Nanashirley
Another great chapter. He is too good to be true. My daughter asked me today if there were real and true good men out there. I told her yes but I am not sure if she believed me.
reply by the author on 02-May-2011
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Another great chapter. He is too good to be true. My daughter asked me today if there were real and true good men out there. I told her yes but I am not sure if she believed me.
Comment Written 02-May-2011
reply by the author on 02-May-2011
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I agree, sometimes one wonders. My husband is a sweetheart, but sometimes he still acts like a male. I appreciate your kind review.
Comment from mumsyone
Your continuing story continues to be interesting.
If you want errors pointed out: He stepped into (the) room and sat in the chair next to her bed. If not, that's okay, too.
reply by the author on 02-May-2011
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Your continuing story continues to be interesting.
If you want errors pointed out: He stepped into (the) room and sat in the chair next to her bed. If not, that's okay, too.
Comment Written 02-May-2011
reply by the author on 02-May-2011
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Thank you for your eagle eye. I can't believe so many people have read that sentence and no one has pointed out the missing word. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from MizKat
Barbara - I think you did outstanding work on this part of Chapter three. It is written well, with no mistakes. Bravo! Domestic violence is a terrible thing, yet you told about it in an interesting way. Kat
reply by the author on 02-May-2011
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Barbara - I think you did outstanding work on this part of Chapter three. It is written well, with no mistakes. Bravo! Domestic violence is a terrible thing, yet you told about it in an interesting way. Kat
Comment Written 02-May-2011
reply by the author on 02-May-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and encouraging words.
Comment from KATYBUG:)
this is a great chapter!
i saw it on the front page a while ago so you must have tons of reviews!
but you did a great job with the dialouge and the destriptive imagery
i liked the end the best when anna's thinking about the differnce between the two
great chapter or well part
love
katy
reply by the author on 02-May-2011
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this is a great chapter!
i saw it on the front page a while ago so you must have tons of reviews!
but you did a great job with the dialouge and the destriptive imagery
i liked the end the best when anna's thinking about the differnce between the two
great chapter or well part
love
katy
Comment Written 02-May-2011
reply by the author on 02-May-2011
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Thank you Katy, for your kind review.
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np!
Comment from me_tudor
Yet another good chapter. I grew up in a home where my parents were alcoholics and my father beat my mother. My sister was in an abusive relationship for several years. My ex-husband didn't beat me but he did verbally abuse me. I'm glad you're writing this story of hope. M.E.
reply by the author on 02-May-2011
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Yet another good chapter. I grew up in a home where my parents were alcoholics and my father beat my mother. My sister was in an abusive relationship for several years. My ex-husband didn't beat me but he did verbally abuse me. I'm glad you're writing this story of hope. M.E.
Comment Written 02-May-2011
reply by the author on 02-May-2011
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Thank you for your kind review. It will get worse before it gets better. We are not done with Bobby, yet. Thank you for sharing your insight.
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Anna asks herself good questions, but she needs practical help finding the answers. You're addressing a really serious problem in this book. I wonder if she would have left if she hadn't been hospitalized and her husband jailed. Probably not. She has no support system. Excellent dialog, although I'd like to see a little more "stage direction". Just a matter of taste. :D Nancy
reply by the author on 02-May-2011
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Anna asks herself good questions, but she needs practical help finding the answers. You're addressing a really serious problem in this book. I wonder if she would have left if she hadn't been hospitalized and her husband jailed. Probably not. She has no support system. Excellent dialog, although I'd like to see a little more "stage direction". Just a matter of taste. :D Nancy
Comment Written 02-May-2011
reply by the author on 02-May-2011
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My style is more dialogue and less narrative. I like it that way. Many of my fans do too. I also get plenty of reviews wondering where the narrative is. LOL I guess that's a matter of perference. I started out with a lot of narrative and I got gigged big time, 1's, 2's and 3's. I was told, "YOU ARE TELLING AND NOT SHOWING!!!!!" I realized if I use dialogue nobody complains about the telling and not showing.
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Ah! The old show don't tell bit. I would much rather read dialog, in that case. Good story. I'm enjoying the character development. :) Nancy
Comment from moyramouse
The relationship between Troy and Anna is developing. You can see her respond to his undemanding kindness and begin to trust him. I'm glad the abuse hasn't soured her to men in general. How sad for her that she has lost the support of her family because of a teenage mistake.
I am looking forward to Troy's father coming to talk to Anna and seeing what he will suggest. As he fostered/adopted Troy, perhaps he will care for little Michael while Anna is in hospital.
Bobby is bound to reappear shortly as they cannot keep him in jail for long, he is going to be mad and I hope Anna won't get hurt again. xxmouse
reply by the author on 02-May-2011
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The relationship between Troy and Anna is developing. You can see her respond to his undemanding kindness and begin to trust him. I'm glad the abuse hasn't soured her to men in general. How sad for her that she has lost the support of her family because of a teenage mistake.
I am looking forward to Troy's father coming to talk to Anna and seeing what he will suggest. As he fostered/adopted Troy, perhaps he will care for little Michael while Anna is in hospital.
Bobby is bound to reappear shortly as they cannot keep him in jail for long, he is going to be mad and I hope Anna won't get hurt again. xxmouse
Comment Written 02-May-2011
reply by the author on 02-May-2011
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Yes, Bobby is angry. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Music Bob
Hi
I have been on a Retirement Cruise for the last two months and have just been able to read this post.
Once again you have done an excellent job and I can't find anything wrong.
Excellent work.
Music Bob
reply by the author on 02-May-2011
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Hi
I have been on a Retirement Cruise for the last two months and have just been able to read this post.
Once again you have done an excellent job and I can't find anything wrong.
Excellent work.
Music Bob
Comment Written 02-May-2011
reply by the author on 02-May-2011
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Thank you for the kind review. I hope you had a great cruise. I'm glad you're back.