Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Part 3, Chapter 6"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
79 total reviews
Comment from Gideon Roth
Hello Barbara. I noticed that you had another addition to your story posted and wanted to give it a quick read. It was about as tight and cleanly written piece as I have read yet. No flaws, spag, or other reasons to not give it top marks. I hope to have my story posted tonight but wanted to read from my favorites for inspiration. I am glad I caught this one. Keep it up...Tim
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2011
  |
Hello Barbara. I noticed that you had another addition to your story posted and wanted to give it a quick read. It was about as tight and cleanly written piece as I have read yet. No flaws, spag, or other reasons to not give it top marks. I hope to have my story posted tonight but wanted to read from my favorites for inspiration. I am glad I caught this one. Keep it up...Tim
Comment Written 06-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review and support.
Comment from MS Writer
Nice twist. Glad that Anna has been located and I hope that now she'll be able to do something about her husband. Always very interesting postings about this problem. The author's notes, I'm sure, are very useful to some. Great read.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2011
 |
Nice twist. Glad that Anna has been located and I hope that now she'll be able to do something about her husband. Always very interesting postings about this problem. The author's notes, I'm sure, are very useful to some. Great read.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
What an intense chapter...
and yet such a relief to
know Anna is in safe hands
and everyone is so kind.
the lobby[,] and hugged her
Paul's family(,) I found
a most impressive write, deserving of a six.
Margaret
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2011
|
What an intense chapter...
and yet such a relief to
know Anna is in safe hands
and everyone is so kind.
the lobby[,] and hugged her
Paul's family(,) I found
a most impressive write, deserving of a six.
Margaret
Comment Written 06-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2011
-
Thank you for the kind review and the support you always offer me.
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Barbara ....
This certainly is a surprising turn in your story and the chapter is well-written and gripping from start to finish. There is nothing to suggest changing and I look
forward to the next chapter.
Love from ... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2011
|
Hullo Barbara ....
This certainly is a surprising turn in your story and the chapter is well-written and gripping from start to finish. There is nothing to suggest changing and I look
forward to the next chapter.
Love from ... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from lola29
I'm so relieve Anna and Michael are safe. It's wonderful that so many people are helping them and others. There are so many kindhearted and giving people in this world, and Troy is one of them.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2011
|
I'm so relieve Anna and Michael are safe. It's wonderful that so many people are helping them and others. There are so many kindhearted and giving people in this world, and Troy is one of them.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from bookishfabler
Another fabulous chapter, my friend. Hope you are feeling better.
"I'm having a hard time believing as Dad and I worried about your safety, my aunt knew where you were."
Something doesn't sound right about this sentence. something was as dad,
Thanks for shring
hugs book
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2011
|
Another fabulous chapter, my friend. Hope you are feeling better.
"I'm having a hard time believing as Dad and I worried about your safety, my aunt knew where you were."
Something doesn't sound right about this sentence. something was as dad,
Thanks for shring
hugs book
Comment Written 06-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2011
-
I will take another look at that sentence. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Joyce Crowe
Once again I enjoyed reading this saga. You do a nice job engaging your readers. You also do a good job with the character interactions.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2011
|
Once again I enjoyed reading this saga. You do a nice job engaging your readers. You also do a good job with the character interactions.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Larrypic11
I know I don't stop by all the time, but I'm happy when I do. The pace continues to be rapid fire and the story is as capturing as it is important. I would reword this sentence to make it less awkward : "I'm having a hard time believing as Dad and I worried about your safety, my aunt knew where you were." Most people wouldn't phrase things in that order. Good luck as you continue this important journey. Larry
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2011
|
I know I don't stop by all the time, but I'm happy when I do. The pace continues to be rapid fire and the story is as capturing as it is important. I would reword this sentence to make it less awkward : "I'm having a hard time believing as Dad and I worried about your safety, my aunt knew where you were." Most people wouldn't phrase things in that order. Good luck as you continue this important journey. Larry
Comment Written 06-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2011
-
I will take a look at that sentence. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from WilliamDeen
Another good addition. Well crafted and it moved the story forward. Troy is an excellent and interesting character. Enjoyed reading this one from beginning to end. Thanks for sharing. Keep reading and writing! billy
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2011
|
Another good addition. Well crafted and it moved the story forward. Troy is an excellent and interesting character. Enjoyed reading this one from beginning to end. Thanks for sharing. Keep reading and writing! billy
Comment Written 06-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Hi Barbara:)
No surprise that Anna was with Aunt Margaret, but how would Anna just show up on her door step? I think you handled this very well without a coincidence that defied belief. I am surprised that Aunt Margaret never let on about her involvement with an underground organization to help abused women. the fact that her home was one of the safe houses would likely have remained secret even from people she trusts, but not her involvement. I am familiar with an organization in Oklahoma City yhat hides abused womwn
Your dialog is excellent. The fact that Anna keeps apologizing for the trouble she has caused fits in with the usual victimology of abused young wives. This seems very authentic.
troy and his father seem like the type of people who feel it is their personal duty to assist victims like Anna. (The knight in shining armour syndrome come to mind.)
I can feel te romantic sparks between Troy and Anna. They are sure to grow once her husband is out of the picture. This can be a dangerous situation. I can think of three cases this year where a controlling ex-husband hunted down his wife and her new friends and killed them.
Keep up the good writing, but don't sell the danger short for Anna, Troy and Paul.
Love and Irish hugs,
Roger
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2011
|
Hi Barbara:)
No surprise that Anna was with Aunt Margaret, but how would Anna just show up on her door step? I think you handled this very well without a coincidence that defied belief. I am surprised that Aunt Margaret never let on about her involvement with an underground organization to help abused women. the fact that her home was one of the safe houses would likely have remained secret even from people she trusts, but not her involvement. I am familiar with an organization in Oklahoma City yhat hides abused womwn
Your dialog is excellent. The fact that Anna keeps apologizing for the trouble she has caused fits in with the usual victimology of abused young wives. This seems very authentic.
troy and his father seem like the type of people who feel it is their personal duty to assist victims like Anna. (The knight in shining armour syndrome come to mind.)
I can feel te romantic sparks between Troy and Anna. They are sure to grow once her husband is out of the picture. This can be a dangerous situation. I can think of three cases this year where a controlling ex-husband hunted down his wife and her new friends and killed them.
Keep up the good writing, but don't sell the danger short for Anna, Troy and Paul.
Love and Irish hugs,
Roger
Comment Written 06-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2011
-
I don't know if OK had them, I do know Michigan does. Thank you for your kind review.
-
Marilyn worked with one in CC and I think my daughter, Kay still does. She work with new mothers at University Hospital in Oklahoma City.
Roger