Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 35 "Part two, Chapter 11"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
86 total reviews
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
set if by the flower garden ( it instead of if?)
69,000 abductions per year. That is way too many.
Another well written chapter!!! Debbie
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2011
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set if by the flower garden ( it instead of if?)
69,000 abductions per year. That is way too many.
Another well written chapter!!! Debbie
Comment Written 10-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from sunnilicious
Hi Barbara!
Firstly, I love the change of picture that you chose on Part two, Chapter 11 of the mini-saga. It must be the autumn air.
The court case is over. Michael's okay. And you're excellent at details, but you've gotta work on the gossip. Everyone's too angelic in this story except for Bobby.
Maybe have your neighbors over for coffee, cake and talk. That'll stem ideas. It's possible.
Good work. Keep it up. Have a good night.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2011
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Hi Barbara!
Firstly, I love the change of picture that you chose on Part two, Chapter 11 of the mini-saga. It must be the autumn air.
The court case is over. Michael's okay. And you're excellent at details, but you've gotta work on the gossip. Everyone's too angelic in this story except for Bobby.
Maybe have your neighbors over for coffee, cake and talk. That'll stem ideas. It's possible.
Good work. Keep it up. Have a good night.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
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you're welcome
Comment from axelbeariter
"I'm under the impression the chief's son struggles with humility." She giggled./Cute!----"Come to think of it, that car was souped up. Isn't Bobby a mechanic? I bet he's an associate of his."/That was a great deduction----Another well written chapter.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2011
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"I'm under the impression the chief's son struggles with humility." She giggled./Cute!----"Come to think of it, that car was souped up. Isn't Bobby a mechanic? I bet he's an associate of his."/That was a great deduction----Another well written chapter.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from fairy77
Beautiful picture he has quite a talent.I really liked this one it has more of a plot.Will you be making a book?Your punctuation's amazing and good plot.Well written.I liked the part of the crickets.Reminds me of the cottage.thanks beth fairy77.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2011
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Beautiful picture he has quite a talent.I really liked this one it has more of a plot.Will you be making a book?Your punctuation's amazing and good plot.Well written.I liked the part of the crickets.Reminds me of the cottage.thanks beth fairy77.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2011
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Thank you for the kind review. My husband thanks you too.
Comment from Carolyn Hilliard
Your helpers did well; no typos or SPAGS. Anna is a lucky woman in this story to have so much help; most women under these circumstance feel alone and vulnerable.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2011
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Your helpers did well; no typos or SPAGS. Anna is a lucky woman in this story to have so much help; most women under these circumstance feel alone and vulnerable.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Yvette Wilson
I haven't been able to read the earlier work, but I enjoyed what I did just read. Your conversations flowed well, not to wordy(something I think I need to work on).Seems like an interesting story line.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2011
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I haven't been able to read the earlier work, but I enjoyed what I did just read. Your conversations flowed well, not to wordy(something I think I need to work on).Seems like an interesting story line.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Rama Rao
The story is racing forward and kept me engrossed. You introduce conflict in each chapter, and that is a plus point. However, I've been thinking of writing this. Your story moves forward with dialogues. I think you should interject few paras of rosy prose in between to show your writing skills. It'll give added sheen to the MS.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2011
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The story is racing forward and kept me engrossed. You introduce conflict in each chapter, and that is a plus point. However, I've been thinking of writing this. Your story moves forward with dialogues. I think you should interject few paras of rosy prose in between to show your writing skills. It'll give added sheen to the MS.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2011
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Thank you for the kind review. WE'll see.
Comment from The Stranger
even after all Anna has gone through, she is still tormented by the family she became a part of through marriage, this family are a most obnoxious buch indeed
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2011
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even after all Anna has gone through, she is still tormented by the family she became a part of through marriage, this family are a most obnoxious buch indeed
Comment Written 09-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from MelissaBickel
Your story is progressing along nicely. Lots of mystery in this one. People do the craziest things out of spite. I think you've captured the fear of the moment.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2011
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Your story is progressing along nicely. Lots of mystery in this one. People do the craziest things out of spite. I think you've captured the fear of the moment.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Van
Grand continuation of your story.
Content:excellent
Flow: easy readability. Dialog and commentary are complementary of one another.
Mechanics: perfect.
Great submission.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2011
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Grand continuation of your story.
Content:excellent
Flow: easy readability. Dialog and commentary are complementary of one another.
Mechanics: perfect.
Great submission.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.