The Dragon Kings` Quest For Vision
Step It Up Contest Submission50 total reviews
Comment from micci
This was an extremely long poem to read almost like a short story really, only it had such a flow to it that it made you just keep on reading. I loved the story that you told it was fun to read
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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This was an extremely long poem to read almost like a short story really, only it had such a flow to it that it made you just keep on reading. I loved the story that you told it was fun to read
Comment Written 21-May-2012
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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Thanks so much micci, for reading and reviewing...I am so glad you enjoyed it...blessings.
Comment from jamma
This is really good! Bravo to you for this difficult write. The only error I saw was in stanza 12 "hard to bare" should be "hard to bear." Nicely done. My best to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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This is really good! Bravo to you for this difficult write. The only error I saw was in stanza 12 "hard to bare" should be "hard to bear." Nicely done. My best to you in the contest.
Comment Written 21-May-2012
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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Hi jamma...thanks so much for reading and reviewing...I went and fixed the error...thank you for pointing that out...I am so glad you enjoyed the story...blessings.
Comment from artemis53
I have no problem with the length. Tales with morals are meant to be long or the readers would miss the point. Some tales have to go on further than an author thinks because they NEED to be completed. I'm often criticized for my lengthy writings and yet they say the story was beautiful. It can't be one without the other. I thought it was great, I would've tightened up the wording a bit along with the meter (rhythm to me). You showed the skills of a storyteller. Not many have that gift. Check out a couple of my pieces about the mistress of the Night and lady of the stream. They go on also but wouldn't have the message if they were shortened.
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I have no problem with the length. Tales with morals are meant to be long or the readers would miss the point. Some tales have to go on further than an author thinks because they NEED to be completed. I'm often criticized for my lengthy writings and yet they say the story was beautiful. It can't be one without the other. I thought it was great, I would've tightened up the wording a bit along with the meter (rhythm to me). You showed the skills of a storyteller. Not many have that gift. Check out a couple of my pieces about the mistress of the Night and lady of the stream. They go on also but wouldn't have the message if they were shortened.
Comment Written 21-May-2012
Comment from TXOxxxooo
I read the whole thing start to finish and did not get lost or bored once! A TOTALLY GRAND tale and sad and lovely and everything. Thank you for taking the time to write this wonderful piece! BLESSINGS T.K. McGowan
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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I read the whole thing start to finish and did not get lost or bored once! A TOTALLY GRAND tale and sad and lovely and everything. Thank you for taking the time to write this wonderful piece! BLESSINGS T.K. McGowan
Comment Written 21-May-2012
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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Thanks so much for the six stars T.K. McGowan...I truly appreciate them and your words...blessings.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
This is very well written and certainly tells a story with a moral. There were a couple rhymes that seemed a bit awkward, but as the rest is so wonderful, I won't even point them out. Congrats on a wonderful poem and good luck in the contest. If this doesn't win, it will because the length is daunting~Debbie
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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This is very well written and certainly tells a story with a moral. There were a couple rhymes that seemed a bit awkward, but as the rest is so wonderful, I won't even point them out. Congrats on a wonderful poem and good luck in the contest. If this doesn't win, it will because the length is daunting~Debbie
Comment Written 21-May-2012
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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Thanks so much for the six stars Debbie...I truly appreciate them and I am so glad you enjoyed the story...blessings.
Comment from kike belleza
this piece of work deserves 2,276 stars only for the hard work and imagination from the author. i stop half way thru, couldnt read anymore.
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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this piece of work deserves 2,276 stars only for the hard work and imagination from the author. i stop half way thru, couldnt read anymore.
Comment Written 21-May-2012
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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Thanks so much for your wonderful words and the six stars kike belleza...I truly appreciate them...blessings.
Comment from Essence16
The main reasons I was fond of this poem was because it rhymed and seemed like it would be interesting from the beginning. I wasnt let down and Im going to read it again :) great work!
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The main reasons I was fond of this poem was because it rhymed and seemed like it would be interesting from the beginning. I wasnt let down and Im going to read it again :) great work!
Comment Written 21-May-2012
Comment from pharp
Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! A very long poem indeed, but it was worth the read. This is indeed a masterpiece, a well written poem/story. Smooth flow and excellent rhyming. Only a very talented poet could have done so well. You are to be commended for such an EXCEPTIONAL poem. Thanks for sharing, I would hope everyone would take the time to read this poem. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! A very long poem indeed, but it was worth the read. This is indeed a masterpiece, a well written poem/story. Smooth flow and excellent rhyming. Only a very talented poet could have done so well. You are to be commended for such an EXCEPTIONAL poem. Thanks for sharing, I would hope everyone would take the time to read this poem. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 21-May-2012
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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Thanks so much pharp, for the six stars and your wonderful words...I truly appreciate them...I am so glad you enjoyed my story...blessings.
Comment from Stalking Wolf
The moral of the story is plain, that envy will kill,and greed will destroy itself. That love of others is the most important part of life.
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The moral of the story is plain, that envy will kill,and greed will destroy itself. That love of others is the most important part of life.
Comment Written 21-May-2012
Comment from visionary1234
Wow! I'm exhausted! This one is bold in the extreme. But somehow you've managed to keep the storyline clear as crystal throughout. I can see this is a performance piece a la Gilbert & Sullivan - you'd have to be very careful with some of the rhymes though, as some are quite outrageous - i.e. you'd have to make a FEATURE of them rather than pretend that they work - deities/daisies, confidence/patience, centaurs/warriors, perfect/respect, bird/captured, colors/other ... they're a bit of a stretch of course, but they can be soooo funny. Occasional little irritants, minor stuff ... "They're called a griffin" just needs plural/singular agreement ... and you DARE to make up "ails" - good for you. Love the wit. Love the moral. MIGHT like the queen to die less shockingly as it became a little too real and for a moment I questioned my tongue in cheek premise. A wild Lewis Carroll extravanza! yeah!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Wow! I'm exhausted! This one is bold in the extreme. But somehow you've managed to keep the storyline clear as crystal throughout. I can see this is a performance piece a la Gilbert & Sullivan - you'd have to be very careful with some of the rhymes though, as some are quite outrageous - i.e. you'd have to make a FEATURE of them rather than pretend that they work - deities/daisies, confidence/patience, centaurs/warriors, perfect/respect, bird/captured, colors/other ... they're a bit of a stretch of course, but they can be soooo funny. Occasional little irritants, minor stuff ... "They're called a griffin" just needs plural/singular agreement ... and you DARE to make up "ails" - good for you. Love the wit. Love the moral. MIGHT like the queen to die less shockingly as it became a little too real and for a moment I questioned my tongue in cheek premise. A wild Lewis Carroll extravanza! yeah!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-May-2012