The Animal Doctor
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Unclaim My Heart"Love Among the Thorns
45 total reviews
Comment from buzclick
Well written piece of work. No obvious misspelling or typos.
Grammar good. Except
I was a foolin' around dare in the barn. / I was foolin' 'round thar (or out thar)in th' barn.
Enjoyed the read thanks for posting.
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reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Well written piece of work. No obvious misspelling or typos.
Grammar good. Except
I was a foolin' around dare in the barn. / I was foolin' 'round thar (or out thar)in th' barn.
Enjoyed the read thanks for posting.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Thank you for the review.
Comment from mumsyone
Second look:
Much better!
____________________________
First Review:
Story is interesting, but I can't award 5 stars because of the errors. If you make corrections, please let me know.
He continued looking over his schedule as Joseph entertaine (entertained) him with beautifully whistled church hymns.
The door flew opened (open) and Miss Lucy, Tucker's wife, greeted Nathan with a wide smile,
Her worn grey cotton dress was covered with a navy blue apron--tied around her waste (waist) that was half covered with flour. (Is the apron or her waist covered with flour?)
Come on in, honey(,) and just sit on over there at the table and eat something."
I got another mess of em ('em) in the oven."
"This is awfully nice of you.(,) Maam. I really appreciate it."
"Oh, its (it's) about the same
"Yes(,) honey," Jim answered.
Mean while (Meanwhile)--miles away,
she had married the man of her dreams, over came (overcome) miscarriges (miscarriages), and revaled (reveled) in the tender moments spent with her miracle baby daughter.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Second look:
Much better!
____________________________
First Review:
Story is interesting, but I can't award 5 stars because of the errors. If you make corrections, please let me know.
He continued looking over his schedule as Joseph entertaine (entertained) him with beautifully whistled church hymns.
The door flew opened (open) and Miss Lucy, Tucker's wife, greeted Nathan with a wide smile,
Her worn grey cotton dress was covered with a navy blue apron--tied around her waste (waist) that was half covered with flour. (Is the apron or her waist covered with flour?)
Come on in, honey(,) and just sit on over there at the table and eat something."
I got another mess of em ('em) in the oven."
"This is awfully nice of you.(,) Maam. I really appreciate it."
"Oh, its (it's) about the same
"Yes(,) honey," Jim answered.
Mean while (Meanwhile)--miles away,
she had married the man of her dreams, over came (overcome) miscarriges (miscarriages), and revaled (reveled) in the tender moments spent with her miracle baby daughter.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I'm sorry the writing wasn't better, but I made all of the corrections. I really appreciate you taking the time pointing out the errors.
Comment from TOMORAL
Although I haven't read the other chapters, I found this to be very interesting and well written. Your descriptions were excellent, especially about the bacon and eggs and such. Made me hungry. Really good writing!
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Although I haven't read the other chapters, I found this to be very interesting and well written. Your descriptions were excellent, especially about the bacon and eggs and such. Made me hungry. Really good writing!
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Thank you Tomoral. I'm glad you liked it.
Comment from Lynette Marie
"Jim, the doc's here!" She turned and gestured to me. -- I notice you slipped into the first person here.
I had to chuckle at Nate's reaction to Margaret spitting up on him. Men are so funny about little things like that. I found this very true to life and natural. Your dialogue is well done. The entire chapter is well written.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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"Jim, the doc's here!" She turned and gestured to me. -- I notice you slipped into the first person here.
I had to chuckle at Nate's reaction to Margaret spitting up on him. Men are so funny about little things like that. I found this very true to life and natural. Your dialogue is well done. The entire chapter is well written.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Oh thank you for catching that. It was not intended. I am so glad you liked it.
Comment from pbroussard209
I loved this chapter, it was humorous and fun. It brought out the personalities of the characters. Your dialogue was well done, and the ending brought all the fun to a screeching halt.
Well done.
"Yes honey," Jim answered. Then he whispered, "She's the bossiest damn woman I ever did know." Nathan chuckled. - I think I would drop "Nathan chuckled." down a line to be by itself, otherwise it sounds as if he was talking.
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reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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I loved this chapter, it was humorous and fun. It brought out the personalities of the characters. Your dialogue was well done, and the ending brought all the fun to a screeching halt.
Well done.
"Yes honey," Jim answered. Then he whispered, "She's the bossiest damn woman I ever did know." Nathan chuckled. - I think I would drop "Nathan chuckled." down a line to be by itself, otherwise it sounds as if he was talking.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Ok thank you I'll make that change. I'm so glad you saw the humor and enjoyed the read.