Expressing Myself
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Warmth"Writing my way out of depression / mental illness
59 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
solid rhyming couplets with effective bridge lines
good alliteration in silent screams
and in so soft and safe and sleeping sound
and in reliving, reveling - good consonance there too
good proximate rhyme in eve/dream
what a moving poetic portrait with its message of the stark difference between dream and reality as that quilt is portrayed as warm and soft in the dream/tattered and weathered in real life
Brooke
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
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solid rhyming couplets with effective bridge lines
good alliteration in silent screams
and in so soft and safe and sleeping sound
and in reliving, reveling - good consonance there too
good proximate rhyme in eve/dream
what a moving poetic portrait with its message of the stark difference between dream and reality as that quilt is portrayed as warm and soft in the dream/tattered and weathered in real life
Brooke
Comment Written 29-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
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Thank you so much for your interpretation, it is right on! And thank you for this generous review!
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem is open to a few interpretations. I sense the transference of identity from the dreamer to a slice of reality on the street. The idea that the walking narrator is the dream resounds as well, along with the sense of peace that may come with passing on. Nicely phrased.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
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This poem is open to a few interpretations. I sense the transference of identity from the dreamer to a slice of reality on the street. The idea that the walking narrator is the dream resounds as well, along with the sense of peace that may come with passing on. Nicely phrased.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
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Thank you so much for your insights and review, Bill!!
Comment from Wendyanne
Hi playinaround. I found your poem interesting and thought-provoking and quite well written. Your final stanza certainly made me feel thankful for what I've got. Good luck.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
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Hi playinaround. I found your poem interesting and thought-provoking and quite well written. Your final stanza certainly made me feel thankful for what I've got. Good luck.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
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That's for sure Wendyanne, thank you so much for reading!
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
A lovely poem for the Faith contest. Mostly in good rhyming couplets. A calm and inspiring poem that I enjoyed reading. I wish you well in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy x
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
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A lovely poem for the Faith contest. Mostly in good rhyming couplets. A calm and inspiring poem that I enjoyed reading. I wish you well in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 29-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
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Thank you so much Dorothy x, for this kind and encouraging review!
Comment from c_lucas
The homeless have very little resources to seek comfort. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
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The homeless have very little resources to seek comfort. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
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Thank you so much c_lucas!
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You're welcome, PA. Charlie
Comment from dragonpoet
Well written poem about how warm a physical quilt makes you and also how warm and protected God's love makes you.
The short lines at the end of each stanza enhance the emotion of the poem.
The artwork works perfectly to illutrate the images in the poem.
Good luck and keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
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Well written poem about how warm a physical quilt makes you and also how warm and protected God's love makes you.
The short lines at the end of each stanza enhance the emotion of the poem.
The artwork works perfectly to illutrate the images in the poem.
Good luck and keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 29-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
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Wonderful insight you have, dragonpoet! Thank you so much for your kind review!!
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You're welcom.
dragonpoet
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Playinaround,
Nice piece of poetry beautifully depicting its theme!
Wording is simple, impressive and perfectly matching with the theme.
Smooth flow with its captivating rhythm and lively imagery.
"...reliving, reveling - coveting, experiencing
everything.............Dream on"
Good Luck!
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
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Hello Playinaround,
Nice piece of poetry beautifully depicting its theme!
Wording is simple, impressive and perfectly matching with the theme.
Smooth flow with its captivating rhythm and lively imagery.
"...reliving, reveling - coveting, experiencing
everything.............Dream on"
Good Luck!
Comment Written 29-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
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Thank you so much for this kind and encouraging review, RPSaxena!!
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
'Warmth' is a well-written piece. To me it's somewhere between fantasy and tragedy. This poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
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'Warmth' is a well-written piece. To me it's somewhere between fantasy and tragedy. This poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
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Thank you so much, duchessofdrumborg!!
Comment from Eric1
Hi My friend, This is a very thought provoking poem which is beautifully written, You start by telling the reader of the dream, then whilst that dream is still fresh in your head you come across the reality. An inner message tells us that we should watch out for the homeless with the onset of winter. Your poem of part rhyme and part free verse is a wonderful statement of fact, thank you so much for sharing.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
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Hi My friend, This is a very thought provoking poem which is beautifully written, You start by telling the reader of the dream, then whilst that dream is still fresh in your head you come across the reality. An inner message tells us that we should watch out for the homeless with the onset of winter. Your poem of part rhyme and part free verse is a wonderful statement of fact, thank you so much for sharing.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
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Thank you for your insights and kind review!
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it really was my pleasure my friend.
Comment from Nosha17
Yes, with faith everything is possible, even the sad dreams and miserable (in the meaning of inadequate) woman can be turned to positive hope. Excellent rhyming and imagery to convey your thoughts. Good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
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Yes, with faith everything is possible, even the sad dreams and miserable (in the meaning of inadequate) woman can be turned to positive hope. Excellent rhyming and imagery to convey your thoughts. Good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 29-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
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Thank you so much Faye, for your insights and most kind review!