Comment from Margaret Bednar

Excellent

I really like the turn (is that what it is called?) in the third stanza - the "careful, stitched-up words to form a quilt"... A lovely sonnet with a gorgeous near rhyme (sun, Khan). I can find no cons...

 Comment Written 21-May-2020

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reply by the author on 21-May-2020

Thanks, Margaret. I always appreciate your comments. Thanks for dropping by. Yes, the turning point is usually a the beginning of the third stanza but not always exactly there. The poncy name for it is a volta, as in the expression volte-face meaning to about face. All good wishes, Tony

Comment from cupa tea

Excellent

Wow, I've been away for a while. It appears poetry has taken an up lift while I've been gone. Very complicated but though provoking poem. I like the concept.

 Comment Written 21-May-2020

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reply by the author on 21-May-2020

Thanks, cupa tea (What a lovely pseudonym!). I appreciate your kind comments and support. Thanks for dropping by. All good wishes, Tony

Comment from Kenneth Gagne

Exceptional

I'm admittedly not a fan of "Kubla Khan," but I am a fan of your poem. I was hooked from the first line, and the first quatrain is now my preferred excuse for why I can't remember my dreams as often as I'd like. I wouldn't have thought of poetry as a patchwork quilt, but now I'm going to have difficulty thinking of it as anything but.

 Comment Written 20-May-2020

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reply by the author on 20-May-2020

Thanks, Kenneth. I appreciate your supportive comments and the accolade of a sixth star. Most affirming and generous of you. All good wishes, Tony

Comment from Iza Deleanu

Excellent

Nice sonnet I fully understand the life of a poet is not easy. The best time to write is the owl night or midnight. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 20-May-2020

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reply by the author on 20-May-2020

Thanks, Iza. I always appreciate your comments. Thanks for dropping by. All good wishes, Tony

Comment from Elizabeth Emerald

Exceptional

You've done it again--flawless rhythm and rhyme and stunning imagery--of which I won't trouble to cite my favorites; refer to the entirety of the poem above. Cheers. LIZ

Back to congratulate you on a well-deserved win! I would have been PISSED had it been otherwise!

 Comment Written 20-May-2020

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reply by the author on 20-May-2020

Thanks, Liz. As always, I appreciate your generous comments. Thanks, too, for dropping a sixth star on this. Most affirming. All good wishes, Tony

reply by Elizabeth Emerald on 24-May-2020

You earned it--I rarely give sixes to my quartet of regulars lest it be construed as sucking up by way of expecting tit-for-tat--I save sixes for you and a couple of other exceptional poets.

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

You have such super command of the sonnet form, Tony! I liked how you connected your lines through natural enjambments. I think you'll do well in the contest for your form and the theme about the ability of poets to keep weaving dreams into the days which rob the dreams.
My one suggestion is to be more consistent in the lowercase beginnings of the lines:
"the seams
Are split, " (I suggest "are" because it continues the sentence from the other lines.
The second stanza all start with a capital but appear to be one sentence.

 Comment Written 20-May-2020

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reply by the author on 20-May-2020

You know how much I always appreciate your reviews, Helen. I really did make a mess of the capitalisation in this, didn't I? Generally, I favour using capital letters only when the grammar dictates it, especially in a poem of this sort that has quite a bit of enjambment. I've now corrected it throughout so that it reads consistently. A thumb would be yours if I hadn't just used my last one for the month. All good wishes, Tony

reply by lyenochka on 20-May-2020

Tony, you know how much I admire your poetic skill so I'm honored that you found my suggestion helpful! I've been told to capitalize all lines no matter what and others say not to but your changes look perfect to me!

Comment from damommy

Excellent

So many dreams don't make sense in daylight, and some are so real, they stick with us for a long time. This poem is an inspiration.

I especially like '"with careful, stitched up words to form a quilt, a patchwork made of fragments from their brains"

 Comment Written 20-May-2020

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reply by the author on 20-May-2020

Thanks, Yvonne. I always appreciate your comments. Thanks for dropping by. All good wishes, Tony

Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)

Excellent

I love this poem, and how it grants importance to dreams, all the while admitting that they are elusive and insubstantial.
I particularly liked the first line, with its suggestion that dreams are more important than waking life.

 Comment Written 20-May-2020

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reply by the author on 20-May-2020

Thanks, Katherine. I always appreciate your comments. I'm not sure that dreams are more important than waking life, but they can certainly enrich it. Thanks for dropping by. All good wishes, Tony

reply by Katherine M. (k-11) on 20-May-2020

It was what the titleand first line made me think of. But maybe I just wanted to think that as I love dreams. I'm one of these foolish people who writes out their strongest dream of the night every morning.
Stay Safe, and have a good day.
Katherine.

reply by the author on 20-May-2020

Not foolish at all!

reply by Katherine M. (k-11) on 20-May-2020

you should see my dream book! you would not then say that! Recently in the middle of the night I knitted a hat out of Brussel Sprouts and potatoes. Do not ask me why.

reply by the author on 20-May-2020

I think that may be one you'll have to use for a poem!

Comment from catch22

Excellent

Hi Tony, this is a very lovely and skilfully done sonnet. I really liked the waking imagery to try and make sense of the dreamstate. Excellent rhythm and clever rhyme in this sonnet. A great contender.

 Comment Written 20-May-2020

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reply by the author on 20-May-2020

Thanks, Pam. I always appreciate your comments. Thanks for dropping by. All good wishes, Tony

Comment from Irish Rain

Exceptional

How beautifully true.
I think a poet can weave tapestries from
the faded threads of burlap.
We stitch with the silk of imagination,
we edge it in the frothy lace of
possibilities.
I love this!
Blessings...

 Comment Written 20-May-2020

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reply by the author on 20-May-2020

Thanks, Judy. I always appreciate your comments. Thanks for dropping a six on this. Most affirming. Your review was a lovely extension of the metaphor! All good wishes, Tony

reply by Irish Rain on 21-May-2020

Best wishes to you, Happy Thursday, be well!