Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Chapter 8; part two"Can love survive small town gossip?
78 total reviews
Comment from L.lora
Miss Barbara this is an excellent
post, definitely ready. The storyline
is preserved and flows smoothly. Your
narratives are amply discriptive and
your dialogues are spot on. The tension
is building as is the Sara and Joe relationship.
You left us on a high note, excitement
tingling, can't wait for your next post.
no nits or spags, Lora
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Miss Barbara this is an excellent
post, definitely ready. The storyline
is preserved and flows smoothly. Your
narratives are amply discriptive and
your dialogues are spot on. The tension
is building as is the Sara and Joe relationship.
You left us on a high note, excitement
tingling, can't wait for your next post.
no nits or spags, Lora
Comment Written 17-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review,
Comment from Thesis
Hi, Barbara. The team seems to be doing a lot in the background to find Cassie. Joe is lucky to have a guy like George to safeguard Sara.
The end of this chapter is intriguing. Sounds like they found a real lead. - John
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Hi, Barbara. The team seems to be doing a lot in the background to find Cassie. Joe is lucky to have a guy like George to safeguard Sara.
The end of this chapter is intriguing. Sounds like they found a real lead. - John
Comment Written 17-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from RebelRose
Hopefully, they finally have a good lead.
I could never live with orange walls but the Lilac sounds nice. At least it is keeping her busy. Another great chapter.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Hopefully, they finally have a good lead.
I could never live with orange walls but the Lilac sounds nice. At least it is keeping her busy. Another great chapter.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from kiwisteveh
I'm not really into romance fiction, but I will give this a shot. Anyway, from this chapter, I'm wondering if the category is more thriller or suspense?
I haven't read the rest of your story of course, so I'm working in the dark a little bit. My worry with what I see her is the balance between developing character (mostly the paint choosing etc) and actually moving the story forward - progress on tracking down daughter's abduction and also love blooming (I'm guessing) between Joe and Sara. For my taste, this has too much room painting and not enough detective work/action.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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I'm not really into romance fiction, but I will give this a shot. Anyway, from this chapter, I'm wondering if the category is more thriller or suspense?
I haven't read the rest of your story of course, so I'm working in the dark a little bit. My worry with what I see her is the balance between developing character (mostly the paint choosing etc) and actually moving the story forward - progress on tracking down daughter's abduction and also love blooming (I'm guessing) between Joe and Sara. For my taste, this has too much room painting and not enough detective work/action.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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If you had read the previous chapters all of this would make sense to you. Thank you for your kind review. Matter of fact I had a dear friend who when her husband deployed he was a helicopter pilot for special forces, she would paint.
PS I don't review catagories I don't like.
Comment from LadyWave
Great cliffhanger at the end! Sara seems to be hanging in surprsingly well. I thought maybe some of her dialogue sounded a little casual for her current situation - I was expecting her to sound more tense. I thought it was a good chapter to move the action ahead - looking forward to the next!
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Great cliffhanger at the end! Sara seems to be hanging in surprsingly well. I thought maybe some of her dialogue sounded a little casual for her current situation - I was expecting her to sound more tense. I thought it was a good chapter to move the action ahead - looking forward to the next!
Comment Written 17-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Rama Rao
It's nice to see a post from you Barbara. It means things are improving on all fronts. Your 'puter will be back, so will be your glasses.
As for the chapter, it was nice and held my attention right until the last word. Since it was so nice we don't even think of spags. It is ready for posting, in my opinion.
with best wishes to you and your 'puter.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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It's nice to see a post from you Barbara. It means things are improving on all fronts. Your 'puter will be back, so will be your glasses.
As for the chapter, it was nice and held my attention right until the last word. Since it was so nice we don't even think of spags. It is ready for posting, in my opinion.
with best wishes to you and your 'puter.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Hey, we will see how I am doing in a few weeks. I start chemo in a few weeks. I better have my computer and my glasses by then.
Comment from Dave M
Barbara,
This is an excellent post, and the picture you borrowed from Fan Art Review is an excellent match. I would not like to live in an orange room.
I enjoyed this read and have a couple of suggestions:
"She's easy to work with, but I [I'd] better catch-up with the men."
"...he took the bedding Sara had given him last night and laid it on the davenport." I haven't seen or heard the word "davenport" in years. Why not "sofa."
Dave
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Barbara,
This is an excellent post, and the picture you borrowed from Fan Art Review is an excellent match. I would not like to live in an orange room.
I enjoyed this read and have a couple of suggestions:
"She's easy to work with, but I [I'd] better catch-up with the men."
"...he took the bedding Sara had given him last night and laid it on the davenport." I haven't seen or heard the word "davenport" in years. Why not "sofa."
Dave
Comment Written 17-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Darn, you weren't supposed to know I was an old lady. (LOL) Thank you for your kind review and I made the changes.
Comment from Nic42
This is a wonderful segment of the story. am taken into the characters pain and emotions. very good continuation of the previous section. am hoping Sara trusts Joe again, he seems quite affected. you bring that through very well.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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This is a wonderful segment of the story. am taken into the characters pain and emotions. very good continuation of the previous section. am hoping Sara trusts Joe again, he seems quite affected. you bring that through very well.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review, young lady.
Comment from K. L. Bauman
Another well written chapter. I love those cliff-hanger endings. And I like that he was gentlemen enough to leave her alone rather than enter the room--just makes him even more like-able!
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Another well written chapter. I love those cliff-hanger endings. And I like that he was gentlemen enough to leave her alone rather than enter the room--just makes him even more like-able!
Comment Written 17-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from missy98writer
Barbara,
chapter twenty is extremely well written. Your dialogue is excellent and your narrative is wonderful. Lovely art work you used. Poor Sara and Joe. We learn more about the person or persons who abducted Cassie. The SUV had been stolen. I'm like Joe I bet the creeps who got Cassie are pros. Joe tells Sara to kept painting. Joe is so sweet. I hope they get a break soon in the case. You are doing a fantastic job writing this latest book. I love it even better than the last one, my talented friend. I look forward to reading even more. I hope you are feeling okay. love and kisses. . .Melissa.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Barbara,
chapter twenty is extremely well written. Your dialogue is excellent and your narrative is wonderful. Lovely art work you used. Poor Sara and Joe. We learn more about the person or persons who abducted Cassie. The SUV had been stolen. I'm like Joe I bet the creeps who got Cassie are pros. Joe tells Sara to kept painting. Joe is so sweet. I hope they get a break soon in the case. You are doing a fantastic job writing this latest book. I love it even better than the last one, my talented friend. I look forward to reading even more. I hope you are feeling okay. love and kisses. . .Melissa.
Melissa.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Thank you Missy, I appreciate hearing from you. Thank you for your kind review.