Reviews from

Lonely Hearts Meet

Viewing comments for Chapter 31 "Part one, Chapter 10"
Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.

84 total reviews 
Comment from Mariea
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello Barbara. Haven't had a chance to read the prior chapters yet as I've been away from FS for over a year.
Characters and dialogue realistic and well developed.
No editing needed that I can see.

Have a great day, hugs Mia

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2011


reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
    Thank you for the kind review. Weclome back.
Comment from Shirley B
Excellent
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Here we go, the divorce trial. I wonder how that will go. If you are writing it, I know it will be interesting. You stopped at an excellent place. You left us all hanging. This chapter is very good. As always, thank you again for posting the number to the abuse hotline, Shirley

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2011


reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from rchitwood
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Bring the divorce trail on I have been reading every chapter and this is one I don't want to miss.Your story again has good dialogue and characters very believable.I would recommend this to others.Blessings Rita

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2011


reply by the author on 11-Sep-2011
    Thank you for the kind review.
reply by rchitwood on 11-Sep-2011
    You are very wlcome.Rita
Comment from The Stranger
Excellent
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well things are now gathering pace for Anna as the trial has been set for her divorce, but there are certain to be some very difficult days ahead

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2011


reply by the author on 11-Sep-2011
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Michelle S
Excellent
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I don't get on fanstory as often as I would like, but when I do it is always a pleasure to get caught up on your book.

Things have been moving along well and I look forward to reading about the trial. Well done!

Michelle

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2011


reply by the author on 11-Sep-2011
    Thank for the kind review.
Comment from Dave M
Excellent
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Barbara,

This is an excellent chapter. In fact, I'd give it a six-star review if the site would let me. I think you did right by simply referring to this trial. Nothing in it would've been said that you haven't already described in previous chapters. I am looking forward to the divorce trial.

I enjoyed this read and have a couple of trivial suggestions:

"The court ordered [court-ordered] anger management and alcohol classes should help." I don't normally worry about things as trivial as hyphens, but you need one here. Otherwise, it's too easy to read "ordered" as the sentence's verb.

"You're having dinner with your lawyer and his family to celebrate Bobby [Bobby's] remaining in jail."

Dave

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2011


reply by the author on 11-Sep-2011
    I have the corrections. I have had 2 reviewers that think I should have gone into the trial, but 6 or 7 that say I chose right. Thank you.
reply by Dave M on 11-Sep-2011
    Barbara,

    Sometimes, when I write, I have trouble with a particular scene. Then, I wonder if it's really needed. If I want my wandering sinners to get from point A to point B, it's often better just to move them to point B without a blow-by-blow description of how they got there.

    Dave
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Excellent
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You're moving this along very nicely, Barbara. Glad Bobby got extra time in lock-up. I am also really glad Anna and Troy have sorted things - he seems like such a NICE GUY! They'll have to be careful now though, since she has a PI on her tail.

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2011


reply by the author on 11-Sep-2011
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Excellent
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Hello Barb I liked this chapter, very much

I don't know how difficult it would be if you had two trials going on at the same time,but to me it would stir up many unknown secrets and emotions,
which would be intriguing to read

Gert

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2011


reply by the author on 11-Sep-2011
    I guess that's two votes for going into the two trials. I will consider it. Thank you for the kind review.
reply by Gert sherwood on 11-Sep-2011
    You are welcome
    Just renumber you are the one that is writing your story
    Gert
Comment from Jen Gentry
Excellent
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Barbara
The story is really rolling out well, this chapter is very well written and smooth and easy to read, I can't ever find anything to critique so well done chapter
Jenny

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2011


reply by the author on 11-Sep-2011
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Belinda
Excellent
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Hi, Barbara. Now I'm frightened. I also know why Paul had so far warned the two not to be too close. I'm afraid there will be complications. But not to worry, as Barbara is the writer...:)

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2011


reply by the author on 11-Sep-2011
    Thank you for the kind review.