Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 55 "Part two, Chapter 17"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
62 total reviews
Comment from Karen Payton Holt
Hi Barbara, another smoothly written chapter that drags the reader in.
This Slim sounds like a nasty character, made my skin crawl just thinking of him.
I fear for Anna, with Slim having her in his sights, I hope Everett can get to him first!
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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Hi Barbara, another smoothly written chapter that drags the reader in.
This Slim sounds like a nasty character, made my skin crawl just thinking of him.
I fear for Anna, with Slim having her in his sights, I hope Everett can get to him first!
Comment Written 04-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Barbara,
Sounds like Bobby and his cousin/brother are some piece of work! Better permanently behind bars I think.
A couple of corrections -
supped up 1968 dodge - I think this should be "suped up"
what did his rob?" Everett - what did [his] (he) rob?" Everett
Patrick
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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Hi Barbara,
Sounds like Bobby and his cousin/brother are some piece of work! Better permanently behind bars I think.
A couple of corrections -
supped up 1968 dodge - I think this should be "suped up"
what did his rob?" Everett - what did [his] (he) rob?" Everett
Patrick
Comment Written 04-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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I must have been making the corrections as you were reading. Thank you for the kind review.
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No problem.
Patrick
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Barb
It looks like you have a number of exciting happenings in this chapter that to me will be in your upcoming chapter
Still wondering who is this homeless person you mentioned in your previous chapter and again in this chapter.
Gert
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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Hello Barb
It looks like you have a number of exciting happenings in this chapter that to me will be in your upcoming chapter
Still wondering who is this homeless person you mentioned in your previous chapter and again in this chapter.
Gert
Comment Written 04-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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Thank you for the kind review and continued support. I appreciate both.
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You are welcome Barb
Gert
Comment from Anthony Crosbie
Once again your characters come to life on the page. Slims violent and controlling nature and Anna's fear of him are very vivid. It leaves me wanting to read more and make sure Slim does not come back. Great characterisation and the dialog flowed well.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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Once again your characters come to life on the page. Slims violent and controlling nature and Anna's fear of him are very vivid. It leaves me wanting to read more and make sure Slim does not come back. Great characterisation and the dialog flowed well.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Janice65
A interesting read and I will continue reading more when you get it written. The story seems to flow well and you will soon be at the end.
There is one incident where I think you left out some words and it's more to the end. It is shown about five lines lines before the end oI have enjoyed reading this story since it began. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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A interesting read and I will continue reading more when you get it written. The story seems to flow well and you will soon be at the end.
There is one incident where I think you left out some words and it's more to the end. It is shown about five lines lines before the end oI have enjoyed reading this story since it began. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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I will check it out. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent description of Slim
You said Slim was in prison for robbery, - use a period
What did his rob? he rob?
Good, realistic-sounding dialogue that furthers the plot with info on the guys following Anna :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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Excellent description of Slim
You said Slim was in prison for robbery, - use a period
What did his rob? he rob?
Good, realistic-sounding dialogue that furthers the plot with info on the guys following Anna :-) Brooke
Comment Written 04-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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Thank you for the eagle eye. I have made the corrections.
Comment from mumsyone
A good continuig chapter, Barbara.
refilled their drinks,(no comma) before she left.
It was a supped up (souped up = adding horsepower or
greater speed to an engine) 1968 dodge charger.
He slapped them in front of us then(,) laughed about it."
"Did he do it by himself or was (were) Bobby and Ted involved?"
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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A good continuig chapter, Barbara.
refilled their drinks,(no comma) before she left.
It was a supped up (souped up = adding horsepower or
greater speed to an engine) 1968 dodge charger.
He slapped them in front of us then(,) laughed about it."
"Did he do it by himself or was (were) Bobby and Ted involved?"
Comment Written 04-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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thank you for the eagle eye, I appreciate it.
Comment from JW
This chapter is well written and it definitely adds a bit of excitement to your story. One cannot help but be eager to find out what is going to happen next.
Great job! JW
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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This chapter is well written and it definitely adds a bit of excitement to your story. One cannot help but be eager to find out what is going to happen next.
Great job! JW
Comment Written 04-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Oh wow, this was well penned. Has some excitement starting to build within this chapter. You have me grabbed and holding my breath as this chapter unfolded.
Great job Barbara.
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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Oh wow, this was well penned. Has some excitement starting to build within this chapter. You have me grabbed and holding my breath as this chapter unfolded.
Great job Barbara.
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
Comment Written 04-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from hyway94
Bw, you haven't lost your touch. This chapter is what people would say is a gateway to an even better chapters. I can see why you're up on the list. I hope to be there in the next life. HaHaHa. Keep up the good writing and some day I'll see one of yours in the DVD collections.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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Bw, you haven't lost your touch. This chapter is what people would say is a gateway to an even better chapters. I can see why you're up on the list. I hope to be there in the next life. HaHaHa. Keep up the good writing and some day I'll see one of yours in the DVD collections.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.