Comment from debskatz

Excellent

Hi Writingfundimension,

Cool story! You did a nice job going from present to past, very smooth. I really enjoyed it. Found a few spag:

miscarriages until, at age thirty(-)eight,

only-living relative(,) Darcy Shaw,

She openly criticized her Aunt(aunt)

you're(your) gut tells you someone


Nice job! Thanks for sharing with us!

smiles,

deb

 Comment Written 08-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012

Hi, deb. Hey, thanks so much for your great review and for catching those SPAG's. I thought I'd caught them all, so I'm glad you were there to see with a fresh set of eyes. Much appreciated! Bev

Comment from HittorX

Excellent

WOW, great work, the people came alive, I could see the sheriff in my head and the father. Well done and a great painting with word. Keep it up. I hope I can get to a point where I write this well. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 08-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012

Thank you much, Thomas. I really appreciate this wonderful review and your kind words of support! Kind regards, Bev

Comment from WLHall

Excellent

I think this is well written and very suspenseful. Scary guy out there doing this murder and no telling what else he's up to. Can't wait to read more. Didn't see any spags anywhere, great job!

 Comment Written 08-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012

Thanks so much, Wanda. I really appreciate your excellent review and interest! Hugs, Bev

Comment from Gungalo

Excellent

Ooo this is so good!! I guess he'll be making his escape to somewhere he can watch from. Scary type, this fellow, eh? Remind me not to ever tackle your scary stories. LOL.

 Comment Written 08-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012

Thanks so much, Gungalo. I really appreciate the great review and support! Warm regards, Bev

reply by Gungalo on 08-Mar-2012

It's a great write.

reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012

That means a lot to me, Gungalo. Bless your generous spirit! Bev

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

You can dammed Nature's rivers and streams, but in time the water will destroy it restraints. Emotions are the as water. We can take so much before we break through our boundaries. This is ver well written.

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 Comment Written 08-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012

Thanks so much, charlie. I really appreciate the time you took to read and review...Bev

reply by c_lucas on 08-Mar-2012

You're welocme, Bev. Charlie

Comment from DominicanPoet

Good

This seems like a great story in the making. However, when I was reading it the flow was not easy. It was very abrupted. An example: the first two paragraphs were talking about the Canadian Geese congregation and the houses in the town. Then it went abruptly to the couple, the tragedy they endured, and to her working outside the home. That lost me a little bit because it felt as if years went before my eyes. Good luck with your story.

~DominicanPoet

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 Comment Written 08-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012

Thanks.