Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 62 "part one, Chapter 19"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
78 total reviews
Comment from ulster3
Hello, barbara.
I guess a sharpshooter took a chance and got him. Bobby is one sick dude! (was?) The first time a woman is hit should be the last time, but sadly they think it's their fault. Just like abused children do!
Warmly, Rebecca
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2012
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Hello, barbara.
I guess a sharpshooter took a chance and got him. Bobby is one sick dude! (was?) The first time a woman is hit should be the last time, but sadly they think it's their fault. Just like abused children do!
Warmly, Rebecca
Comment Written 15-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Shirley McLain
I wish I had a six to give to you. This is an excellent chapter. Very intense and realistic in dialogue. I'm hoping they take advantage of their sharp shooters.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2012
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I wish I had a six to give to you. This is an excellent chapter. Very intense and realistic in dialogue. I'm hoping they take advantage of their sharp shooters.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Cobalt Blue
Wow, this is quite a story you are cooking up here! A scary scene that unfortunately could be based on so many real life ones that seem to happen every day. Very well written! I didn't notice anything that needed fixing. I look forward to more.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2012
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Wow, this is quite a story you are cooking up here! A scary scene that unfortunately could be based on so many real life ones that seem to happen every day. Very well written! I didn't notice anything that needed fixing. I look forward to more.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from judiverse
I like the way you show how the SWAT team is operating. It seems that there is no way anyone can get through to Bobby, and the only way is just to take him out. He acts totally irrational, and he wants to blame everyone else for his troubles. His dialogue and actions seem quite in keeping with his character. His behavior patterns probably fit many men who are violent and abusive. You keep the reader's attention throughout. judi
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2012
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I like the way you show how the SWAT team is operating. It seems that there is no way anyone can get through to Bobby, and the only way is just to take him out. He acts totally irrational, and he wants to blame everyone else for his troubles. His dialogue and actions seem quite in keeping with his character. His behavior patterns probably fit many men who are violent and abusive. You keep the reader's attention throughout. judi
Comment Written 15-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2012
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Thank you for the kind review,
Comment from Belinda
Oops, I guess the cops shot him. Not her, I hope. This is an exciting chapter in which Anna showed her courage to keep alive. Thanks for sharing your great imagination and skill in writing.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2012
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Oops, I guess the cops shot him. Not her, I hope. This is an exciting chapter in which Anna showed her courage to keep alive. Thanks for sharing your great imagination and skill in writing.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from mumsyone
Another good chapter, Barbara, and not much to report:
He heard some muffled sounds(,) then Bobby yelled, "Don't talk down to me!"
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2012
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Another good chapter, Barbara, and not much to report:
He heard some muffled sounds(,) then Bobby yelled, "Don't talk down to me!"
Comment Written 15-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2012
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Thank you for the eagle eye. I appreciate your kind review.
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Oh, I do hope it's a bullet that put him down. Not good that she went face first under him, though. Ai, ai, ai. Now I have to wait another week to find out it nasty Bobby bit the dust.
I do hope so.
Great tension and action in this chapter, Barbara. Well done.
Hugs, Av
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2012
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Oh, I do hope it's a bullet that put him down. Not good that she went face first under him, though. Ai, ai, ai. Now I have to wait another week to find out it nasty Bobby bit the dust.
I do hope so.
Great tension and action in this chapter, Barbara. Well done.
Hugs, Av
Comment Written 15-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from christianpowers
Hello,
Thanks for the opportunity to review your work.
I can't stand jumping in the middle of books like this, but I'm certain you'd rather have thoughtful feedback from someone like me than none at all, so here it goes...
I couldn't get into the story that much, or the characters either, but I didn't hold that against you due to the little snapshot in time I'm seeing.
The writing was fine. I found no errors grammatically or with punctuation.
I had a hard time knowing who was speaking at first. I had to read it twice over when that happened, and, again, this may be due to a lack of familiarity.
The following two issues warranted a comment...
George glanced toward his associate. "I can't seem to...<<< I don't know what term, but try to find a more specific term for who he's glancing toward. 'Associate' is a very generic term and sounded too aloof.
Bobby's arm around her throat caused Anna difficulty breathing.<<< This just sounded a bit too tame for what was happening... also aloof and distant from Anna's predictament. Maybe; Bobby's arm choked her... or Bobby's arm made it hard to breathe... or just; Anna struggled for each breath...
Anyway, I did find this excerpt...sufficient for what it needed to convey. I hope this helps a little.
Christian
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2012
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Hello,
Thanks for the opportunity to review your work.
I can't stand jumping in the middle of books like this, but I'm certain you'd rather have thoughtful feedback from someone like me than none at all, so here it goes...
I couldn't get into the story that much, or the characters either, but I didn't hold that against you due to the little snapshot in time I'm seeing.
The writing was fine. I found no errors grammatically or with punctuation.
I had a hard time knowing who was speaking at first. I had to read it twice over when that happened, and, again, this may be due to a lack of familiarity.
The following two issues warranted a comment...
George glanced toward his associate. "I can't seem to...<<< I don't know what term, but try to find a more specific term for who he's glancing toward. 'Associate' is a very generic term and sounded too aloof.
Bobby's arm around her throat caused Anna difficulty breathing.<<< This just sounded a bit too tame for what was happening... also aloof and distant from Anna's predictament. Maybe; Bobby's arm choked her... or Bobby's arm made it hard to breathe... or just; Anna struggled for each breath...
Anyway, I did find this excerpt...sufficient for what it needed to convey. I hope this helps a little.
Christian
Comment Written 15-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2012
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Sorry for the late answer to your review. I wanted to wait until I had time to make the adjustments. Thank you for the assistance.
Comment from purrfect tale
Ding dong, the prick is dead! Oops, excuse the language. Your story hits me in a rather personal way. I just know he's been shot and hope he's dead so she never has to worry again. I loved that she tried putting up a fight. This would be a 6, but it must be too soon to give you another.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2012
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Ding dong, the prick is dead! Oops, excuse the language. Your story hits me in a rather personal way. I just know he's been shot and hope he's dead so she never has to worry again. I loved that she tried putting up a fight. This would be a 6, but it must be too soon to give you another.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2012
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A virtual six coming from your is perfect enough. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hi Barb,
what a terrifying chapter.
When is this struggle all going to end?
The part in the kitchen had me in stitches plus how you closed this chapter with such a dramatic scene.
Gert
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2012
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Hi Barb,
what a terrifying chapter.
When is this struggle all going to end?
The part in the kitchen had me in stitches plus how you closed this chapter with such a dramatic scene.
Gert
Comment Written 15-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2012
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Thank you for the kind review and insight.
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Smiles have a good week teaching.
Gert