Comment from janalma

Excellent

I enjoyed this very much. Leaves the reader wondering if, and/or why he killed his darling Juliet. Did he, or did he not? Did she reject him? Ah, the agony of love. Lol. Anyway, this read so well. Without even trying, the reader falls into the rhythm. Nice. Oh, and the poem goes well with the haunting pic. Quite Poe-like.

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2013

---

reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013

Thanks for the thoughtful comments.

Steve

Comment from Supe

Exceptional

I found this poem flowed smoothly from start to finish and the pace and rhyme in Poe's form a very delightful read. I wish you luck in the contest. I have not read any other entries but I as well as others recognize the feat in accomplishing this. Nice job. Quite the love story.

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2013

---

reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013

Thanks for the kind words. second place again, I'm afraid....

Steve

Comment from Norbanus

Exceptional

This tribute to the darkened verse
that we've learned to esteem
while ducking back behind the hearse
and trying not to scream

As often is the case with tales so rare
your story throws our thoughts astray
Poe would envy this with some to spare
you send our battered muse to disarray

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2013

---

reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013

thanks for the great poetic review and the six stars.

Just heard I won second place with this.

Steve

Comment from tfawcus

Exceptional

Yes, 'The Raven' came immediately to mind, Steven, well before I reached the end and your authorial note! Not only have you parodied the rhythm and rhyme scheme to a 'T', which is a feat in itself, but the subject matter is well worthy of the great master of mystery and suspense! It is quite a while since I have woken to the wreck of a riotous party but your description brought it all flooding back! You almost gave me a hangover! There are so many felicitous phrases that I hesitate to pick out just one but your heart pounding 'like a herring in a net' is inspired! One of the joys of weaving thoughts into a tight and uncompromising form is the lateral thinking that can so often make fresh new images appear! This is a macabre masterpiece, much enjoyed! Tony

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2013

---

reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013

Tony, thanks for the very kind words and the thoughtful review.

Alas, the committee in their wisdom have found a better entry than mine. :o((

Steve

Comment from rjuselius

Excellent

nice piece of poetic art! art i use because you cannot measure the money coming in or going out. who else decides what art is.. sorry, out of track.
anyhoo, thank you for sharing!

rebekka x

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2013

---

reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013

Thanks, I think! :o)

Steve

Comment from michaelcahill

Exceptional

I must say this was a fantastic effort right here. there are some strong entries in this contest indeed and I have thought I had read the winner twice before. well, a great poet once said: "third times the charm". really incredible imagery and word choice throughout way too much to highlight any one thing. congratulations on a superlative job. wonderful. mike

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2013

---

reply by the author on 08-Sep-2013

Thanks, Mike.

You are right, there are a number of strong entries in this contest - there always are in the site ones - so I try not to get my hopes up....

Steve

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

A love go wrong in this tragic poem. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. Good luck in your contest.

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2013

---

reply by the author on 08-Sep-2013

Thanks, Charlie.

Steve

Comment from JM daSilva

Excellent

"This line "For when love calls, no defender can escape that silken net;" is so true. I'm talking about every kind of love, not just romantic. Love is powerful.

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2013

---

reply by the author on 08-Sep-2013

Ha! You are the only reviewer to single out that particular line which I was quite proud of....

.... but then you fail to mention the rest of the poem.

Thanks for stopping by.

Steve

reply by JM daSilva on 08-Sep-2013

I stressed it because it was the most important to me. Didn't mean to slight the poem. Sorry.

reply by the author on 08-Sep-2013

No offence taken - I am glad you liked the line.

Steve

reply by JM daSilva on 08-Sep-2013

Great.

Comment from barkingdog

Exceptional

This is quite a story, steve, and you did a fantastic job using Poe's form. It didn't miss a single beat.
Best of luck in the contest. As always you are a master.

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2013

---

reply by the author on 08-Sep-2013

Thanks, bd.

if I was still at school I'd be copying the other kids' answers.

Steve

Comment from James Chaima Phiri

Excellent

I wish this could be a dream. Who murdered Juliet? Is the lover responsible? This is indeed a mystery. This poem leaves me with a lot of questions. Why was he sentenced to death? Why will he accept death without regret? Did he really loved Juliet that much? What was he doing in the jungle? Did the Serviette contain something connected to the murder? There are more questions but I think it's enough to conclude that it was a mystery.

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2013

---

reply by the author on 08-Sep-2013

I can answer one of those questions: the jungle was a metaphor for the state of his house the day after what was obviously SOME party!

As to whether he was or was not a demented soul who injected the girl he'd just met and made love to with heroin and then drowned her...... that is entirely up to you.

The other alternative is that he was a faithful and true lover to his love at first sight Juliet and he is accepting his own death so that he can be with her in the afterlife i.e. he's Romeo to her Juliet.

Fun stuff this poetry, isn't it?

Steve