Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "storm warning"A book of Poetry & Writing
178 total reviews
Comment from Sonjalee
A wonderful poem. So wonderful I give it a 6!
I raced with my husband and 5 guys for 12 years in one design racing on San Francisco Bay. What excitement and joy . We faced challenges but never had to face the biggest challenge of all for a sailor-a big storm. I also have done a lot of coastal cruising and have been fortunate never to have faced a storm. We have been in 40 knots at night with beam seas breaking over the beam of the boat. I have given thought to this type scenario and have e shuddered thinking about it... What can one do but hang on and hope help will come.
You have done a wonderful job with the rhyming and flow of this vividly expressed event. A sad poem as you finally can't fight anymore but you still have love of the sea in your heart. You have found peace.
the flow of this poem is beautiful . You have really done a beautiful job.
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A wonderful poem. So wonderful I give it a 6!
I raced with my husband and 5 guys for 12 years in one design racing on San Francisco Bay. What excitement and joy . We faced challenges but never had to face the biggest challenge of all for a sailor-a big storm. I also have done a lot of coastal cruising and have been fortunate never to have faced a storm. We have been in 40 knots at night with beam seas breaking over the beam of the boat. I have given thought to this type scenario and have e shuddered thinking about it... What can one do but hang on and hope help will come.
You have done a wonderful job with the rhyming and flow of this vividly expressed event. A sad poem as you finally can't fight anymore but you still have love of the sea in your heart. You have found peace.
the flow of this poem is beautiful . You have really done a beautiful job.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2014
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
This is a lovely poem - mostly with internal rhyme which is very good. You describe the story well. Radio down, no way to call for help and your boat is sinking - you cannot beat a raging sea and you slowly sink to join other sailors who have gone before you. Enjoyed the read. Regards Dorothy
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This is a lovely poem - mostly with internal rhyme which is very good. You describe the story well. Radio down, no way to call for help and your boat is sinking - you cannot beat a raging sea and you slowly sink to join other sailors who have gone before you. Enjoyed the read. Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 14-Jun-2014
Comment from emrpoems
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this piece.
Natural flow of words with good rhythm and rhyme
Good use of alliteration and an excellent transitioning of
words from one line to another
created vivid imagery
intense and dramatic
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I thoroughly enjoyed reading this piece.
Natural flow of words with good rhythm and rhyme
Good use of alliteration and an excellent transitioning of
words from one line to another
created vivid imagery
intense and dramatic
Comment Written 14-Jun-2014
Comment from dennis0530
Though this writing per se is about getting caught in a stormy sea, it is also metaphorical. The writer describes his struggle with the watery elements and eventually losing.
The comparison in real life is not far. As we go through life smug in the thought that everything is going smooth, a problem or a crisis suddenly hits. We try our best to cope and turn everywhere for help. Maybe we might pull through. But if not, some providential friends and Divine help will help us out.
"Storm Warning" is a bit mild title for this piece. Caught in the suddenness of the storm and the successive struggling, this might better be "Caught in a Storm."
I believe this would be more reader-friendly with bigger fonts.
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Though this writing per se is about getting caught in a stormy sea, it is also metaphorical. The writer describes his struggle with the watery elements and eventually losing.
The comparison in real life is not far. As we go through life smug in the thought that everything is going smooth, a problem or a crisis suddenly hits. We try our best to cope and turn everywhere for help. Maybe we might pull through. But if not, some providential friends and Divine help will help us out.
"Storm Warning" is a bit mild title for this piece. Caught in the suddenness of the storm and the successive struggling, this might better be "Caught in a Storm."
I believe this would be more reader-friendly with bigger fonts.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2014
Comment from Jackarrie
A beautifully written poem, so realistic in how you visualize the whole scene, as well as allowing it to flow. I really enjoyed it, the sea is treacheries and demands respect. Well done, I wish I had a six left.
Mary
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A beautifully written poem, so realistic in how you visualize the whole scene, as well as allowing it to flow. I really enjoyed it, the sea is treacheries and demands respect. Well done, I wish I had a six left.
Mary
Comment Written 14-Jun-2014
Comment from trevorletang
A beautiful expression of the soul out of the depths of a most challenging experience - as if were real both the trauma and the healing, both the danger and the peace _ thanks for sharing Deep Water(s).
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A beautiful expression of the soul out of the depths of a most challenging experience - as if were real both the trauma and the healing, both the danger and the peace _ thanks for sharing Deep Water(s).
Comment Written 14-Jun-2014
Comment from 1954speed
What a great poem! To tell the story so completely of the struggle, the defeat and then the victory is amazing. The piece had rhythm, conflict and carried well beginning to end. Look forward to more of your work. Later, Jim
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What a great poem! To tell the story so completely of the struggle, the defeat and then the victory is amazing. The piece had rhythm, conflict and carried well beginning to end. Look forward to more of your work. Later, Jim
Comment Written 14-Jun-2014
Comment from rouskin
Strong emotions and vivid imagery from first line to the last Very enjoyable read Thank you for sharing and have a great weekend
Blessings, Rouskin
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Strong emotions and vivid imagery from first line to the last Very enjoyable read Thank you for sharing and have a great weekend
Blessings, Rouskin
Comment Written 14-Jun-2014
Comment from Eric1
What a wonderfully descriptive poem of the perils of the sea, it flows really well and rhymes perfectly, your fight for survival and your description of the fight between yourself and the sea is flawless, but the best surprise is that you survived, many others writing this would have described their death in detail, this is one of the times I regret using all my six stars so quickly!
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What a wonderfully descriptive poem of the perils of the sea, it flows really well and rhymes perfectly, your fight for survival and your description of the fight between yourself and the sea is flawless, but the best surprise is that you survived, many others writing this would have described their death in detail, this is one of the times I regret using all my six stars so quickly!
Comment Written 14-Jun-2014
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh, I loved this very elegant and dramatic poem - such lovely internal rhyme and near-rhyme, such passion and emotion. My favorite phrase is "this sea is a mountain I'll have to fly..." Lovely!
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Oh, I loved this very elegant and dramatic poem - such lovely internal rhyme and near-rhyme, such passion and emotion. My favorite phrase is "this sea is a mountain I'll have to fly..." Lovely!
Comment Written 14-Jun-2014