Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Life"A book of Poetry & Writing
134 total reviews
Comment from Lauren Ressler
The words of the poem are really compelling. I found myself getting less sad as I read, and I don't know if that was the point, but I enjoyed it.
I was distracted by some grammar mistakes. There shouldn't be a comma after "is" in the first line. If you want some punctuation there I recommend a dash or a colon. And "rise's" should just be "rises."
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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The words of the poem are really compelling. I found myself getting less sad as I read, and I don't know if that was the point, but I enjoyed it.
I was distracted by some grammar mistakes. There shouldn't be a comma after "is" in the first line. If you want some punctuation there I recommend a dash or a colon. And "rise's" should just be "rises."
Comment Written 07-May-2010
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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thank you lauren for the comments tryin to make a book up
regards
Gary
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
This is a very well written poem with a great rhythm which imparts very sound advice to all. I cannot agree more and there is nothing I would suggest changing.
Warm wishes
Kat
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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This is a very well written poem with a great rhythm which imparts very sound advice to all. I cannot agree more and there is nothing I would suggest changing.
Warm wishes
Kat
Comment Written 07-May-2010
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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thank you for reading Kat
Comment from Diny
For a newbie this was excellant!- I love the message here and wish my son would take to heart your thoughts. saddness is a wish never achieved!- Brillant- Write on-Di
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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For a newbie this was excellant!- I love the message here and wish my son would take to heart your thoughts. saddness is a wish never achieved!- Brillant- Write on-Di
Comment Written 07-May-2010
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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thank you Diny yep a newbie on here but just an old cowboy at heart
Comment from Nicki_Mist
I love what you have to say here and ghe way you say it so poeticly. We can sit and do nothing about our plight in life and watch others do what they must or we can take control and do our best in life. Great imagery and good poem.
Nicole
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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I love what you have to say here and ghe way you say it so poeticly. We can sit and do nothing about our plight in life and watch others do what they must or we can take control and do our best in life. Great imagery and good poem.
Nicole
Comment Written 07-May-2010
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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thank you Nicki for reading
Comment from LYLE
GW,
In my years of working for corporations and trying to train people, I found that so many of them did not wish to
succeed, or even try to fly. In their minds they were losers not worthy of being successful. I wish that people would do as you suggest: spread their wings and fly, but they will not.
Sincerely, Lyle
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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GW,
In my years of working for corporations and trying to train people, I found that so many of them did not wish to
succeed, or even try to fly. In their minds they were losers not worthy of being successful. I wish that people would do as you suggest: spread their wings and fly, but they will not.
Sincerely, Lyle
Comment Written 07-May-2010
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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Thank you for reading and your comments Lyle
Comment from MikiB
Excellent writing on this poem about this new path you fly.
Always remember the place that you start because real friends stay, locked deep in your heart. Very good.
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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Excellent writing on this poem about this new path you fly.
Always remember the place that you start because real friends stay, locked deep in your heart. Very good.
Comment Written 06-May-2010
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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thank you Miki for your review
Comment from Helen Tan
I enjoyed this, thanks.
Sadness is, the wish that you never achieve
Alone in the darkness, with dreams of reprieve
This is the disappointment that we keep to ourselves - "Alone in the darkness". I like the reality and truth of these lines.
You have it within you, to reach and fly high
So remove your defenses, go reach for the sky
Go forward with gusto show life what you are
I enjoy the uplifting, inspiratinal tone here.
The phoenix that rise's, now claim your new start
The phoenix that rises
Good imagery, rising from the ashes, rising from failure into glory.
Remember the past on this new path you fly
Real friends will stay, locked deep in your heart
So always remember the place that you start
It's always easy to forget where we came from, what help we received along the way once we're at the top. This is a reminder.
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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I enjoyed this, thanks.
Sadness is, the wish that you never achieve
Alone in the darkness, with dreams of reprieve
This is the disappointment that we keep to ourselves - "Alone in the darkness". I like the reality and truth of these lines.
You have it within you, to reach and fly high
So remove your defenses, go reach for the sky
Go forward with gusto show life what you are
I enjoy the uplifting, inspiratinal tone here.
The phoenix that rise's, now claim your new start
The phoenix that rises
Good imagery, rising from the ashes, rising from failure into glory.
Remember the past on this new path you fly
Real friends will stay, locked deep in your heart
So always remember the place that you start
It's always easy to forget where we came from, what help we received along the way once we're at the top. This is a reminder.
Comment Written 06-May-2010
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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thank you for your review Helen
Comment from tati
Hi Gary,
Thank you for sharing this encouraging and inspiring poem about life. The flow was smooth and the imagery was clear. My favorite:
Reach out for the hands that will pull you up high
Real friends will stay, locked deep in your heart
I loved the theme and the profound message. It was a pleasure to read. Warmest wishes,
tati, May 07, 2010
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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Hi Gary,
Thank you for sharing this encouraging and inspiring poem about life. The flow was smooth and the imagery was clear. My favorite:
Reach out for the hands that will pull you up high
Real friends will stay, locked deep in your heart
I loved the theme and the profound message. It was a pleasure to read. Warmest wishes,
tati, May 07, 2010
Comment Written 06-May-2010
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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thank you for your review Tati
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You're welcome, Gary.
tati
Comment from GentleWind
I found this piece to be so encouraging and inspiring. I needed that today. The flow was fluid and the imagery was ever so clear. I loved the theme and the message.
reply by the author on 06-May-2010
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I found this piece to be so encouraging and inspiring. I needed that today. The flow was fluid and the imagery was ever so clear. I loved the theme and the message.
Comment Written 06-May-2010
reply by the author on 06-May-2010
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thank you for reading
Comment from whizpurr ^-^
Hi deepwater,
"Life" is another beautiful poem. Not only are your words well written and interesting, but the format you have chosen really sets it apart and compliments it. Nice flow and rhythm too. Thanks for sharing. Cheers, W ^-^
reply by the author on 06-May-2010
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Hi deepwater,
"Life" is another beautiful poem. Not only are your words well written and interesting, but the format you have chosen really sets it apart and compliments it. Nice flow and rhythm too. Thanks for sharing. Cheers, W ^-^
Comment Written 06-May-2010
reply by the author on 06-May-2010
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thank you for reading whizpurr