Ease My Pain
For my friend, Gaye150 total reviews
Comment from missy98writer
Janilou,
Your true story is poignant and moving. Very well written piece of non-fiction. You're a bigger person than me to forgive your friend after what she did. I commend you on being a bigger person. Excellent narrative and very descriptive and emotional writing. Several paragraphs stood out to me:
All at once, you became the other woman and the person my children had grown up knowing as their honorary aunt, was their stepmother when you married my ex. It didn't matter we'd already split up before you stepped in. When did it begin, that love you felt for my husband? Had some secret affair been behind the destruction of our marriage? I wondered, doubted, and vowed we couldn't ever be friends again, not ever. Twenty years of friendship dissolved just like that and we didn't even need an attorney, but no amount of dark humor could take away the pain. I felt betrayed.
We both moved on and I remarried. You still wanted to be friends. I didn't. I wasn't angry anymore. I just didn't want you in my life. I couldn't trust you, I told myself. At times I mourned the loss, but how do you cross back over that chasm of mistrust? I remember how you cried when I told you and I tried to pretend I didn't care.
Then it happened. A phone call changed everything. "She's got cancer," your husband said, his voice choked with pain. I remember asking all the right questions, and hanging up the phone, feeling as though I'd been punched in the stomach. All at once, those past hurts and pains evaporated. Why had they seemed so important until that moment? It was my turn to cry.
You're starting treatment, trying to be strong, for everyone else, and I admire you for that. I know somewhere deep inside, you're as scared as I am. If you find it in your heart to forgive me and you need someone to talk to, just call. I can listen and I can be your friend.
I feel you should be commended for forgiving your friend. You're a very talented writer thanks for sharing your personal story.
Melissa!
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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Janilou,
Your true story is poignant and moving. Very well written piece of non-fiction. You're a bigger person than me to forgive your friend after what she did. I commend you on being a bigger person. Excellent narrative and very descriptive and emotional writing. Several paragraphs stood out to me:
All at once, you became the other woman and the person my children had grown up knowing as their honorary aunt, was their stepmother when you married my ex. It didn't matter we'd already split up before you stepped in. When did it begin, that love you felt for my husband? Had some secret affair been behind the destruction of our marriage? I wondered, doubted, and vowed we couldn't ever be friends again, not ever. Twenty years of friendship dissolved just like that and we didn't even need an attorney, but no amount of dark humor could take away the pain. I felt betrayed.
We both moved on and I remarried. You still wanted to be friends. I didn't. I wasn't angry anymore. I just didn't want you in my life. I couldn't trust you, I told myself. At times I mourned the loss, but how do you cross back over that chasm of mistrust? I remember how you cried when I told you and I tried to pretend I didn't care.
Then it happened. A phone call changed everything. "She's got cancer," your husband said, his voice choked with pain. I remember asking all the right questions, and hanging up the phone, feeling as though I'd been punched in the stomach. All at once, those past hurts and pains evaporated. Why had they seemed so important until that moment? It was my turn to cry.
You're starting treatment, trying to be strong, for everyone else, and I admire you for that. I know somewhere deep inside, you're as scared as I am. If you find it in your heart to forgive me and you need someone to talk to, just call. I can listen and I can be your friend.
I feel you should be commended for forgiving your friend. You're a very talented writer thanks for sharing your personal story.
Melissa!
Comment Written 13-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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Thank you very much, Melissa!
Jan
Comment from skye
This is a remarkable story, universal in its message, well written, with great pain, great loss, and great love.
The story could be anyone's... it is so familliar, yet it is uniquely yours.
Exellent.
I hope it all works out for happiness for all.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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This is a remarkable story, universal in its message, well written, with great pain, great loss, and great love.
The story could be anyone's... it is so familliar, yet it is uniquely yours.
Exellent.
I hope it all works out for happiness for all.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much!
Jan
Comment from Joan E.
How satisfying it must feel to find your piece rewarded by anonymous FanStorian(s) to the number one story slot. We can all believe in fairies again!
I enjoyed your memoir and admired your apt expressions like "done-thee-wrongs," "Time buries wounds" and "path of uncertainty we call the rest of our lives." I never had a sister or a confidante-substitute, but I can understand your reactions over the decades. I admired your final sentence of resolution. Many thanks for sharing this story of evolution. I hope your re-found friend beats the cruel disease.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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How satisfying it must feel to find your piece rewarded by anonymous FanStorian(s) to the number one story slot. We can all believe in fairies again!
I enjoyed your memoir and admired your apt expressions like "done-thee-wrongs," "Time buries wounds" and "path of uncertainty we call the rest of our lives." I never had a sister or a confidante-substitute, but I can understand your reactions over the decades. I admired your final sentence of resolution. Many thanks for sharing this story of evolution. I hope your re-found friend beats the cruel disease.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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Many thanks for your kind words.
Jan
Comment from Soledadpaz
What a heartfelt letter. My heart skipped a beat as I read on as I faced a somewhat similar situation. Except I don't think I could forgive, ever. And it's true time buries wounds but they remain.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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What a heartfelt letter. My heart skipped a beat as I read on as I faced a somewhat similar situation. Except I don't think I could forgive, ever. And it's true time buries wounds but they remain.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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Many thanks!
Jan
Comment from JMonroe
I know all about this! It may seem petty to other people, but I used to be crazy in love with someone. We were best friends for YEARS before we started dating. Then we stayed together as a couple for another year.
THEN suddenly a mutual friend of ours took him away from me. The pain and betrayal is maddening.
Honestly, I hope she never gets cancer or anything... but it is like you said... how could I ever trust either of them again?
Wonderfully written. Very heartfelt.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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I know all about this! It may seem petty to other people, but I used to be crazy in love with someone. We were best friends for YEARS before we started dating. Then we stayed together as a couple for another year.
THEN suddenly a mutual friend of ours took him away from me. The pain and betrayal is maddening.
Honestly, I hope she never gets cancer or anything... but it is like you said... how could I ever trust either of them again?
Wonderfully written. Very heartfelt.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much for the wonderful rating and your kind words. It made my day.
Jan
Comment from Lady & Louis
Jani, my heart goes out to you both on reading this. It's hard to think of anything to say content-wise that isn't going to sound like a platitude. Even saying that you will be able to pursue and revive your friendship Elsewhere sounds trite. You know it anyway, but it doesn't help matters now.
I shall just have to say that there's nothing I'd suggest writing-wise, and send my love.
Louise xxxx
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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Jani, my heart goes out to you both on reading this. It's hard to think of anything to say content-wise that isn't going to sound like a platitude. Even saying that you will be able to pursue and revive your friendship Elsewhere sounds trite. You know it anyway, but it doesn't help matters now.
I shall just have to say that there's nothing I'd suggest writing-wise, and send my love.
Louise xxxx
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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Bless your heart! Thanks!
Hugs,
Jan
Comment from Southern Writer
I am trying really hard to just review the writing and not add my personal feelings to this essay. hard to do. I hope Gaye reads this. They say forgiveing is more for you than for the person that did you wrong. They're right, cause until you forgive they control your life. For you I hope things work out. Simple words but it painted a picture of your pain and feeling of betrayal.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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I am trying really hard to just review the writing and not add my personal feelings to this essay. hard to do. I hope Gaye reads this. They say forgiveing is more for you than for the person that did you wrong. They're right, cause until you forgive they control your life. For you I hope things work out. Simple words but it painted a picture of your pain and feeling of betrayal.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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Many thanks!
Jan
Comment from hfriscia
This is a good story to read...The flow is great and easy to read...The ending is awesome, poeple often wonder what would, you captured it...
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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This is a good story to read...The flow is great and easy to read...The ending is awesome, poeple often wonder what would, you captured it...
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much!
Jan
Comment from koyoga
Poignant writing. I'm not sure if you will share
this with "her" or not, but I hope it was healing
for you in some way. It is always amazing to me
how cancer has the power to both destroy and heal.
I'm sure this took great courage to share here, so
thank you for trusting the FB readers with this!
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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Poignant writing. I'm not sure if you will share
this with "her" or not, but I hope it was healing
for you in some way. It is always amazing to me
how cancer has the power to both destroy and heal.
I'm sure this took great courage to share here, so
thank you for trusting the FB readers with this!
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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Many thanks. I did share it with her and she loved it.
Jan
Comment from Annmuma
Your story reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:
"To make sure we always have room in our hearts and minds for the future, let go of regret, remorse, resentment, sorrow and guilt. Keep only the good stuff."
I think it is a lesson we all must learn over and over again. My heart and my prayers go out to you and to your friend.
Well written. ann
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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Your story reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:
"To make sure we always have room in our hearts and minds for the future, let go of regret, remorse, resentment, sorrow and guilt. Keep only the good stuff."
I think it is a lesson we all must learn over and over again. My heart and my prayers go out to you and to your friend.
Well written. ann
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much! A great quote I must remember!
Jan