Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Part One of Chapter Two"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
93 total reviews
Comment from shy1250
I hope you haven't experienced this yourself, but something in me says either you have or have been very close to someone else who has. Perfect dialogue, especially the initial 'don't hang up': inspired. The pain of every problem seeming without answer as fear degrades your reasoning processes. You have this DOWN--outstanding writing from someone who I think will grow into a literary force to be reckoned with. later and God bless, shy ps wish I'd had a Troy. sigh.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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I hope you haven't experienced this yourself, but something in me says either you have or have been very close to someone else who has. Perfect dialogue, especially the initial 'don't hang up': inspired. The pain of every problem seeming without answer as fear degrades your reasoning processes. You have this DOWN--outstanding writing from someone who I think will grow into a literary force to be reckoned with. later and God bless, shy ps wish I'd had a Troy. sigh.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and encouragement.
Comment from stanishmichelle
Troy is so caring and I'm glad he talked Anna into taking the money to help the medicall bills. I am interested to know more about his ailment. The ending of the story has heightened my curiousity as it appears that Bobby is about to abuse Anna. Hope he doesn't destroy the medication. What an animal. The story continues its intrigue. I have read the author notes and will continue to preay for you. Michelle
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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Troy is so caring and I'm glad he talked Anna into taking the money to help the medicall bills. I am interested to know more about his ailment. The ending of the story has heightened my curiousity as it appears that Bobby is about to abuse Anna. Hope he doesn't destroy the medication. What an animal. The story continues its intrigue. I have read the author notes and will continue to preay for you. Michelle
Comment Written 27-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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Thank you for your prayers. I appreciate your kind review and support.
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All the best. Michelle
Comment from Carolyn Hilliard
This story is hard subject to touch. It touches hearts and brings back memories to any woman who has gone through it. Already I fear the medication will be broke and of course he will force Anna to do something.
Glad you are gettinga rest from the chemo. Please load up on protein to gather strength and fruit or 100% fruit juice to help your body keep eliminating. Those helped me a lot and still do. Fiesty
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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This story is hard subject to touch. It touches hearts and brings back memories to any woman who has gone through it. Already I fear the medication will be broke and of course he will force Anna to do something.
Glad you are gettinga rest from the chemo. Please load up on protein to gather strength and fruit or 100% fruit juice to help your body keep eliminating. Those helped me a lot and still do. Fiesty
Comment Written 27-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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It's funny after two weeks of no chemo, my blood count continued to drop. The dr. expected it to stablize, but it didn't it hit an all time low. I was to told to eat red meat. I love my beef so it's no problem. I drink tomato and grape juice like it's going out of style. I appreciate your kind review.
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I kept and still keep chicken bites; my favorite is honey basted. I grab some when I feel my sugar go down; you know get queezy or the tummy just suddenly goes yuck and then I shiver. Beef liver is good for iron too.
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I am still fighting some nausea. I am so sick of it.
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Ginger. You can get it in candy form, ginger tea. Ginger ale may not be so good, because of the carbonation. But most everyone whose has had chemo that I know have found the ginger helps. For me the tea works best. I keep candy on me when I'm out.
Comment from Nanashirley
This is a good chapter and the cruelty of the husband is so real I held my breath at the last line. I like the good Samaritan part of it.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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This is a good chapter and the cruelty of the husband is so real I held my breath at the last line. I like the good Samaritan part of it.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from donnadiann
Barbara, I hope all goes well.
In the story, Anna's frustration and embarrassment about the co-pay, is very clear. And Troy is so helpful, but when Anna left Michael with Troy for a few moments to get the medicine, I kept thinking, Troy is going to kidnap Michael.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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Barbara, I hope all goes well.
In the story, Anna's frustration and embarrassment about the co-pay, is very clear. And Troy is so helpful, but when Anna left Michael with Troy for a few moments to get the medicine, I kept thinking, Troy is going to kidnap Michael.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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Troy is a good guy, but does have some issues, himself. We will discover them later. Thank you for the kind review.
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Oh that is good to know, got to be some good guys too.
Comment from Moonlith
Hopefully, you do not write about spousal abuse from first-hand experience, but from the ability to "tell a good story". My heart goes out to you if you have lived through the "living with the enemy" syndrome. It's the wish of every reader to read a well executed story. One that will make them care, excite them, or even scare them. Woe to the writer who doesn't accomplish this in their writing. Your story does all these things and more. Your story transports your readers beyond the realm of their own reality. They may yearn for something that will reveal something of themselves in your story so they can be become involved. The reader wants to participate in the actions of the stories characters. The careful writer does all this, and you are that writer. Readers and writers are partners and both have high expectations. I was glued to every word of your story and my expectations were met full-scale. Thank you for a great story. Please keep writing about the subject of abuse. There are so many women that are suffering. If you have written other chapters, please let me know. BTW, I found no technical errors in your writing.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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Hopefully, you do not write about spousal abuse from first-hand experience, but from the ability to "tell a good story". My heart goes out to you if you have lived through the "living with the enemy" syndrome. It's the wish of every reader to read a well executed story. One that will make them care, excite them, or even scare them. Woe to the writer who doesn't accomplish this in their writing. Your story does all these things and more. Your story transports your readers beyond the realm of their own reality. They may yearn for something that will reveal something of themselves in your story so they can be become involved. The reader wants to participate in the actions of the stories characters. The careful writer does all this, and you are that writer. Readers and writers are partners and both have high expectations. I was glued to every word of your story and my expectations were met full-scale. Thank you for a great story. Please keep writing about the subject of abuse. There are so many women that are suffering. If you have written other chapters, please let me know. BTW, I found no technical errors in your writing.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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Thank you for the kind review and the encouraging words. This is my fourth post for this novel.
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You are welcome. I will be reading your other posts.
Comment from Dave M
Barbara,
Hang in there. I hope you do well without the additional chemo, but I guess you'll be getting radiation therapy. We're still thinking about you.
I guess Bobby saw Anna and Troy together. I enjoyed this read and have one comment:
"Anna glanced toward the sign-in desk. "I [I'd] better do it."
Dave
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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Barbara,
Hang in there. I hope you do well without the additional chemo, but I guess you'll be getting radiation therapy. We're still thinking about you.
I guess Bobby saw Anna and Troy together. I enjoyed this read and have one comment:
"Anna glanced toward the sign-in desk. "I [I'd] better do it."
Dave
Comment Written 27-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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Thank you for catching my I'd. I missed it again. I tried to catch them. I will start radiation on April 6. I appreciate your continued support.
Comment from --Turtle.
Hi author,
I read through this chapter, a few suggestions,
Silence filled the air for a moment[,] before he said,
(suggest deleting comma)
Troy interjected[,] as Michael's crying filled the (consider deleting comma)
Anna watched a nurse search the filled waiting room[,] before she called, "Michael Rodgers."
(consider deleting comma)
Troy stood in the parking lot, before she leaned into the backseat.
(the comma's before 'before' are odd. I figure I'd mention this sentence was a bit confusing on whole,.. ---She waited for Troy to move before leaning into the backseat. Perhaps?
Troy watched her skirt [rise on](hike)? her thighs.
"No." He turned and faced her[,] as the tips of his ears
(really suggest deleting commas before 'as' and 'before')
When she walked through the living room(,) she noticed
(add comma)
There's a nice balance between action and dialog, the dialog flows well, is the strongest aspect of the read, and the interaction between Anna and Troy was entertaining to watch.
Turtle.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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Hi author,
I read through this chapter, a few suggestions,
Silence filled the air for a moment[,] before he said,
(suggest deleting comma)
Troy interjected[,] as Michael's crying filled the (consider deleting comma)
Anna watched a nurse search the filled waiting room[,] before she called, "Michael Rodgers."
(consider deleting comma)
Troy stood in the parking lot, before she leaned into the backseat.
(the comma's before 'before' are odd. I figure I'd mention this sentence was a bit confusing on whole,.. ---She waited for Troy to move before leaning into the backseat. Perhaps?
Troy watched her skirt [rise on](hike)? her thighs.
"No." He turned and faced her[,] as the tips of his ears
(really suggest deleting commas before 'as' and 'before')
When she walked through the living room(,) she noticed
(add comma)
There's a nice balance between action and dialog, the dialog flows well, is the strongest aspect of the read, and the interaction between Anna and Troy was entertaining to watch.
Turtle.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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I made a hard copy of your suggestions so I don't miss any. Thank you for your review.
Comment from dmjones
Hi Barbara, This is an excellent chapter and you really leave us hanging at the end. Well done. Troy's a nice guy and now I'm wondering what he has that Angela left him for.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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Hi Barbara, This is an excellent chapter and you really leave us hanging at the end. Well done. Troy's a nice guy and now I'm wondering what he has that Angela left him for.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and support.
Comment from Deorre Leonard
Great read great characters. As always this was very well written. You have a real talent for writing. I would recommend your work to my family and friends.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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Great read great characters. As always this was very well written. You have a real talent for writing. I would recommend your work to my family and friends.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support.