Reviews from

Lonely Hearts Meet

Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Part one Chapter four"
Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.

83 total reviews 
Comment from Deejharrington
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A terrific chapter! Upbeat and positive for Anna. Troy's father is a real sweetie! Bringing them both sundaes and then listening to her sad tale. But he didn't give sympathy but he did give her hope for the future. I really liked the chapter. The info in author's notes is most helpful.
deb

 Comment Written 08-May-2011


reply by the author on 09-May-2011
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Alaskastory
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'Lonely Hearts Meet' is part of chapter that has an upbeat for the young mother in great need of a happy Mother's Day and the rest of her life. You've done a fine job of bringing Paul into this story in such a positive way.

Very enjoyable!

 Comment Written 08-May-2011


reply by the author on 09-May-2011
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Readywriter52
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Paul seems like a very nice man. He has gotten Anna to talk. He can see the seriousness of her situation. He seems like a man who can get things done. Anna needs a strong kind man in her life. She obviously stuck with Bobby because she didn't think she had an alternative.

 Comment Written 08-May-2011


reply by the author on 09-May-2011
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from mumsyone
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Another great chapter. I'm glad to see that Anna is finally going to get, and accept some help. It will be interesting to see where it goes from here. Happy Mother's Day to you, too. I hope you have read my "Mother's Hands" poem. It is a greeting to all.

 Comment Written 08-May-2011


reply by the author on 08-May-2011
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from axelbeariter
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"I'll sure try." He glanced at a sack in his left hand and then at the badly bruised young lady in bed. After he opened the sack, he lifted out a hot fudge banana split in a clear cup with a lid. "This is for you. It always makes my wife feel better. I hope it has the same effect for you."

Anna's eyes widened. "Thank you." She accepted the ice cream but then struggled to remove the lid.

"Let me help." Paul pried off the lid and handed her a plastic spoon.

"Thank you, again. Is there something in that bag for you?"

"Yes, a strawberry sundae." He removed it and smiled. "Let's eat and enjoy."
/What a terrific way to break the ice in a situation like that. Very original----Even though this chapter is primarily for information and setting up an obvious confrontation with Bobby, it's definitely one of your better ones.

 Comment Written 08-May-2011


reply by the author on 08-May-2011
    Thank you for your kind review and encouraging words. I usually get gigged pretty good for the informational posts. We'll see.
reply by axelbeariter on 08-May-2011
    gig=punishment for such a delinquency/That is the only defination of gigged that fits what you said. Please, explain what you mean, because I see no reason for anybody to punish your writing.
reply by the author on 09-May-2011
    gigged- I guess it's sort of slang, but yes, I guess it is sort of punishment. I was marked down in stars.
reply by axelbeariter on 09-May-2011
    I think I know who did that to you. Probably the same new guy who gave, A Micro-Wilderness (awarded 43-5s and 4-6s by FS reviewers) 3 stars, because my descriptions of all the mundane objects in my story were too extensive. Just for the hell of it, I looked him up and noticed he also had a story in the same contest. He picked on the wrong guy, because if it happens again, I've got a huge surprise for him.
reply by the author on 09-May-2011
    I often feel some people do it just because our stories are doing well.
Comment from dmjones
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Happy Mother's Day to you also Barbara.

A very good chapter. It seems Anna is now in capable hands with both Troy and his father. It's not always enough. Well done.

One thing:

don't you think it will be easier to raise Michael when you're not walking on eggshells for fear (of)making Bobby angry?"

 Comment Written 08-May-2011


reply by the author on 08-May-2011
    Made the correction. Thank you for having an eagle eye. I appreciate your kind review.
Comment from Belinda
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Hi, Barbara. Mmmm so nice of Troy's father to come with ice cream. Anna needs all kindness she can get ... :) Thanks for glimpses of both Anna and Troy's background. Happy mother;s day to you too.

 Comment Written 08-May-2011


reply by the author on 08-May-2011
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Deorre Leonard
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Troy and his dad are very good people. Look like their is light at the end of the tunnel for Anna and her son. This is another good read. I am waiting for the next part.Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 08-May-2011


reply by the author on 08-May-2011
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Gungalo
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Well it appears that she is going to have some help but can they adequately protect her from Bobby? Sigh, so many times I have heard this same sort of story. Most never leave or stay gone. So very sad.

You tell this story so well, girl. I loved the imagery of them eating sundaes in the hospita!!! It had a calming effect. He was smart to think of something like that as an ice breaker with her!!!

Great use of vocabulary and truly a sense for the situation!!!

 Comment Written 08-May-2011


reply by the author on 08-May-2011
    Bobby returns in my next post. I appreciate your insight and the kind review.
reply by Gungalo on 08-May-2011
    I'm enjoying your write, girl!!! Always do.
Comment from WilliamDeen
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Ice cream has the same affect on me. Great writing! Thanks for sharing. This is an excellent addition to your story. Well written and interesting.

 Comment Written 08-May-2011


reply by the author on 08-May-2011
    Thank you for your kind review. Ice cream works for me and I thought it might work for Anna.