Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Part 2, Chapter 9"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
81 total reviews
Comment from Carolyn Hilliard
It came out perfect. And you know I look for SPAGS and typos. I also felt you kept your characters in character. I noticed in your previous book you were consistent there too.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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It came out perfect. And you know I look for SPAGS and typos. I also felt you kept your characters in character. I noticed in your previous book you were consistent there too.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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Thank you for the kind review and continued support.
Comment from dportwood
barbara.wilkey,
The story took somewhat of an unexpected twist in this chapter. Will the misunderstanding ever be resolved? Well done.
Duane
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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barbara.wilkey,
The story took somewhat of an unexpected twist in this chapter. Will the misunderstanding ever be resolved? Well done.
Duane
Comment Written 28-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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Thank you for the kind review. There will be some twists from here on out.
Comment from axelbeariter
No, you didn't make any stupid mistakes; not even un-stupid ones.
Troy ran his hands through his short hair. "What just happened?"
The only thing a reader might question would be why, after Troy said the above, he was not quick enough to catch up to Anna, especially if she had to unbuckle Michael. To head off that possibility and still keep the scenario real, you might have Troy being impeded by an employee who left the shelves stocking cart in such a way as to block his passage or possibly have another customer or Troy bump into a shelf and have a slew of falling cans block his way. I'm not saying it wasn't good the original way, but as we writers are taught--The more tension we can create the better. You have a perfect opportunity to do that here. Your call though. Works well either way. Axel
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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No, you didn't make any stupid mistakes; not even un-stupid ones.
Troy ran his hands through his short hair. "What just happened?"
The only thing a reader might question would be why, after Troy said the above, he was not quick enough to catch up to Anna, especially if she had to unbuckle Michael. To head off that possibility and still keep the scenario real, you might have Troy being impeded by an employee who left the shelves stocking cart in such a way as to block his passage or possibly have another customer or Troy bump into a shelf and have a slew of falling cans block his way. I'm not saying it wasn't good the original way, but as we writers are taught--The more tension we can create the better. You have a perfect opportunity to do that here. Your call though. Works well either way. Axel
Comment Written 28-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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Good point. I will fix that. I appreciat your kind review.
Comment from The Stranger
has Troy blotted his copy book or is there a totally plausible explanation for the rendezvous with Blondie, a reason that will ease Annas suspicions?
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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has Troy blotted his copy book or is there a totally plausible explanation for the rendezvous with Blondie, a reason that will ease Annas suspicions?
Comment Written 28-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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Yes, there is a real reason, you find out in the next post. I appreciate your kind review.
Comment from missy98writer
Barbara,
your latest chapter is filled with deep emotion and about misunderstanding. Anna assumed Tory with involved with blondie. Troy needs to wake up an smell the coffee because Anna lacks self confidence because of her abusive ex. What a shame they keep missing opportunities to explore their blossoming love. But it wouldn't make for romantic drama if you didn't throw conflict into the mix. I look forward to your next chapter you'll post next weekend. I don't know how you do it with you plate so full, my friend. You excellent used descriptive writing, emotion and dialogue in this chapter. Keep on writing riveting drama in your different kind of romance book. Hey, I found a story you wrote I saved to read titled Heart of a Texan. I look forward to reading more of Anna and Troy's book. I wish you continued success in all your writing ventures, my friend. Have a delightful day. PM or e-mail me with your address I have a historical romance written in first person I want to send to you. The title is Kathleen by Francine Rivers. There is tasteful sex scenes in it near the latter half after the main character weds. The story has mystery in it too. Love ya.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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Barbara,
your latest chapter is filled with deep emotion and about misunderstanding. Anna assumed Tory with involved with blondie. Troy needs to wake up an smell the coffee because Anna lacks self confidence because of her abusive ex. What a shame they keep missing opportunities to explore their blossoming love. But it wouldn't make for romantic drama if you didn't throw conflict into the mix. I look forward to your next chapter you'll post next weekend. I don't know how you do it with you plate so full, my friend. You excellent used descriptive writing, emotion and dialogue in this chapter. Keep on writing riveting drama in your different kind of romance book. Hey, I found a story you wrote I saved to read titled Heart of a Texan. I look forward to reading more of Anna and Troy's book. I wish you continued success in all your writing ventures, my friend. Have a delightful day. PM or e-mail me with your address I have a historical romance written in first person I want to send to you. The title is Kathleen by Francine Rivers. There is tasteful sex scenes in it near the latter half after the main character weds. The story has mystery in it too. Love ya.
Melissa.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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You have my address. You have e-mailed me numerous times, silly girl. Thank you for your kind review.
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shoot it to me again. I am overwhelmed at my email overflowing too and I've searched it our and can't find it, but it's there.
Melissa.
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Barbara,
I have a book I want to send you so I need your mailing address not email. Well duh!
Melissa.
Comment from kiwisteveh
This is nice - introduces a new complication and also hints at another one (the security gates). As ususal, the writing is clear and accurate and the dialogue is credible, although I might have expected a little bit more in the exchange between Troy and his secretary...
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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This is nice - introduces a new complication and also hints at another one (the security gates). As ususal, the writing is clear and accurate and the dialogue is credible, although I might have expected a little bit more in the exchange between Troy and his secretary...
Comment Written 28-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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I am glad you picked up on the gate issue. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from TammyGail
Another amazing chapter these chapters are so compelling just as they should be ..... You did a great job writing this chapter I couldn't take my eyes off it .... I always love how you put the hotline number and the end ... Thanks for sharing it was a pleasure to read....
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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Another amazing chapter these chapters are so compelling just as they should be ..... You did a great job writing this chapter I couldn't take my eyes off it .... I always love how you put the hotline number and the end ... Thanks for sharing it was a pleasure to read....
Comment Written 28-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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Thank you for the kind review. I started putting the number there, because a reviewer PMed me. She needed it. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Barbara,
I hate that Anna completely misunderstood why the blonde was with Troy. She didn't even hang around for an explanation...some women can be so stubborn! I am still worried about Bobby getting our of jail and I know he will. I didn't see any mistakes and for someone who has a full plate to you did a fine job with this chapter....blessings, chey
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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Hi Barbara,
I hate that Anna completely misunderstood why the blonde was with Troy. She didn't even hang around for an explanation...some women can be so stubborn! I am still worried about Bobby getting our of jail and I know he will. I didn't see any mistakes and for someone who has a full plate to you did a fine job with this chapter....blessings, chey
Comment Written 28-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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Anna is so beaten emotionally that she thinks the worst of everything. It will take awhile for her to grow. I hope I can show that growth. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Wow lots of emotion in this one and I like how Anna seemed stronger in this section.
Well written and I enjoyed this pace, little faster due to the frustrations I think.
Well done.
I enjoyed reading it.
Thanks for sharing
Maureen
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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Wow lots of emotion in this one and I like how Anna seemed stronger in this section.
Well written and I enjoyed this pace, little faster due to the frustrations I think.
Well done.
I enjoyed reading it.
Thanks for sharing
Maureen
Comment Written 28-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from ulster3
Hello, barbara.
This is another great read, but I can't help but feel that Anna is taking it a bit far to not speak to Troy when he came with the groceries. I suppose her reaction goes back to the loss of self confidence due to her abusive spouse.
I look forward to the next chapter.
Warmly, Rebecca
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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Hello, barbara.
This is another great read, but I can't help but feel that Anna is taking it a bit far to not speak to Troy when he came with the groceries. I suppose her reaction goes back to the loss of self confidence due to her abusive spouse.
I look forward to the next chapter.
Warmly, Rebecca
Comment Written 28-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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Yes it does. I hope to show Anna's growth through the rest of the novel. Thank you for the kind review.