Comment from evilynne

Exceptional

Thanks for the nightmare, Dean. As always your writing is scarily delightful. Your notes are also quite informative.
Best of luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2014

Comment from tfawcus

Excellent

A chilling tale indeed! I liked the human tough, "I secured the freshest deadest meat my monies could supply". Everything comes at a price, financial as well as moral! It is unnerving to think how very close we are to a 'grow your own' man from selective cloning, genetic modification and tissue culture. Even with the grim warning of Frankenstein, we are still trying to play God. Science Fiction has an uncanny habit of becoming science fact.

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2014

Comment from Spitfire

Exceptional

OMG This is a work of art! What awesome pictures, a play by play description of how a man so egotistical he tried to play God. Brilliant touch when the creature called him "Father". I see a double meaning here. The ending says it all.

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2014

Comment from JudyS

Excellent

Dean, Loved this one. Creepy yet the message is quite clear. I've enjoyed the Frankenstein stories and movies since I was a kid, a long time ago I might add. :) Good job on this one, excellent graphics to do with it. And yes, I agree, it does not bode well when man tries to play God. Have a good one, Judy

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2014

Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)

Exceptional

A very well penned and presented story in a poem. Strong abab rhyming and excellent alliteration. The world would be a better place if we would mind our own business and let God do his. Good luck in the contest, my friend~Debbie

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2014

Comment from chasennov

Exceptional

"I, Man!" A most excellent poem the poet has created here out of the beginnings, and writings seemingly, of Leonardo Da Vinci, touching on Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, gouging out bits and pieces from Frankenstein and trying to play God. I absolutely and sincerely enjoyed this wonderful masterpiece. Superb artwork. Well done, Dean.

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2014

Comment from Twilightspire

Exceptional

Absolutely fantastic!
Told from the point of view of ole Vic's last apprentice, this stunning piece of art is both visually beautiful and poetic brilliance.
I loved the tale of a man who not only dared to do better than God, but also do better than his master.
I always loved the tale of Frankenstein and his monster and this one did not disappoint.
Wonderful poem, my friend.
-T.J.

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2014

Comment from ElegantButler

Excellent

Brilliantly written. It captures the essence of that ill-fated moment of pride very nicely.

By the way, that wasn't just any old inclement weather that waylaid the ride and gave rise to The Modern Prometheus. It was the eruption of Krakatoa itself, the most legendary of all volcanos.

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2014

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi Dean,

Ole Baldy looks like a new age Frankenstein ready to get up and pounce. By the looks of his nose, I'd say he'll have a good case of post nasal drip! LOL.

Fun read - hope it takes some ribbons and the win. Good luck in the contest.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax ('^')

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2014

Comment from colorfree

Excellent

Well done. Frankly, I liked your poem far more than I liked Mary Shelly's "Frankenstein"! I found that story, slow and frankly, I want to yell at the monster "Shut up! You're boring me to death!" :) I have a few suggestions for you. I only hope to help you if I can. Thanks for sharing!

I think you'll need to change the word "staid" in the line "...all was staid needed..." Staid is just another word for quiet or sedate. I'm not sure what word you actually meant. Maybe something like "ready"?
You also might want to change "cessations" in the line "sutured cessations..." Cessation means to end or stop.
You might use the word "lacerations".
I'm afraid I'm stumped with what you mean by "Jacob's ladders hummed".

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 10-Aug-2014

Thanks for your kind and encouraging review, colorfree, and for those fine suggestions as well. I will endeavor to look at those lines a bit more.

As for a Jacob's Ladder, it is a device which looks a lot like the old rabbit ear antennas that used to sit atop many television sets. Between the two rods, electricity is generated and runs up and down the poles, which creates a humming sound. I have included a picture of one for you below, and you'll probably remember them from science class in school, although not many people know what they're called. They were also very prevalent in many 30's and 40's era monster movies...




As for the word "STAID", here is the definition I know below:


staid [steyd]

adjective

1.of settled or sedate character; not flighty or capricious.
2.fixed, settled, or permanent.

verb
3.Archaic. a simple past tense and past participle of stay.

So, in other words, the sutures were all in place, fixed...staid.

Thanks again, and, as always, pleasant screams, heh heh heh...

reply by colorfree on 10-Aug-2014

Thanks for the info. Now I know a new word! It's always good to keep learning. :)

reply by the author on 10-Aug-2014

I agree, colorfree. Any day I can learn something new I consider a very good day, LOL. :}