2015 Haiku
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Desolating Grief "A collection of haiku I wrote in 2015
67 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
Deprived of inhabitants; deserted and uninhabited. The area sure looks pretty desolate to me. Did the fire reach as far as Gavados Island? I have a friend from FanStory who lives near there. His name is Alex, and I believe he's since left the site since his fantasy novels were published a couple of years ago.
This definitely incorporates concrete imagery of a terrifying kind. It's a unique take on the tree hugger 5-7-5 prompt as well.
Good luck to you in that contest.
~Dean
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
Deprived of inhabitants; deserted and uninhabited. The area sure looks pretty desolate to me. Did the fire reach as far as Gavados Island? I have a friend from FanStory who lives near there. His name is Alex, and I believe he's since left the site since his fantasy novels were published a couple of years ago.
This definitely incorporates concrete imagery of a terrifying kind. It's a unique take on the tree hugger 5-7-5 prompt as well.
Good luck to you in that contest.
~Dean
Comment Written 07-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Thank you Dean I appreciate the excellent review. I don't know how far did the fire go. I hope your friend Alex is ok.
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I haven't heard from him in awhile is why I asked. You're very welcome, I hope you do well in the contest. ~Dean
Comment from Pantygynt
Since your emmendations you have a neat 5-7-5 that precisely fits the requirements I have therefore re-written this review and regraded the stars. I like the subject and your treatment of it.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
Since your emmendations you have a neat 5-7-5 that precisely fits the requirements I have therefore re-written this review and regraded the stars. I like the subject and your treatment of it.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Thank you for your good review. The error has been fixed. I noticed after I had saved the first copy.
Comment from rspoet
You have written an excellent, if sombre 5-7-5 poem for the contest.
I question though, the syllable count. I get 8 for line two. "Towards" is normally 2 syllables.
If you're okay with it, that's fine
Excellent message presented perfectly in fire red font on the black background
Picture matches poem
Excellent, check syllables, I may be wrong.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
You have written an excellent, if sombre 5-7-5 poem for the contest.
I question though, the syllable count. I get 8 for line two. "Towards" is normally 2 syllables.
If you're okay with it, that's fine
Excellent message presented perfectly in fire red font on the black background
Picture matches poem
Excellent, check syllables, I may be wrong.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Thank you rspoet, I appreciate your review and finding that error. I changed it. Thank you
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
This is a great presentation. The color scheme is perfect. The artwork, although sad, is super.
Longest Lasting Fire
Pleading Branches Towards Heaven
Desolating Grief
Good job on the syllable count.
Good job. No changes. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
This is a great presentation. The color scheme is perfect. The artwork, although sad, is super.
Longest Lasting Fire
Pleading Branches Towards Heaven
Desolating Grief
Good job on the syllable count.
Good job. No changes. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Thank you Jannypan, I appreciate your excellent review and kind words.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Very familiar with the Peloponnese, a tremendously fascinating area of Greece indeed. Well written story told in 5-7-5 format.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
Very familiar with the Peloponnese, a tremendously fascinating area of Greece indeed. Well written story told in 5-7-5 format.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Thank you Brett, I appreciate your excellent review.
Comment from emkoutny
Very interesting how you related the story of the fire and the picture and related the poem to that event. Perhaps I was aware of the fire in the news at that time, but with so many world events constantly occurring, it is easy to lose track and forget. Also, I don't think world events are covered as well as they should be. Your poem is well written and informs people of a devastating vent.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
Very interesting how you related the story of the fire and the picture and related the poem to that event. Perhaps I was aware of the fire in the news at that time, but with so many world events constantly occurring, it is easy to lose track and forget. Also, I don't think world events are covered as well as they should be. Your poem is well written and informs people of a devastating vent.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Thank you Emkoutny, I appreciate your review.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi...
_ Such a dramatic photo.
_ Having been evacuated because of an impending fire when we lived in the pines, I can honestly understand where this comes from.
_ Such a tragic thing, fire. You depict it so well in your 5.7.5.
_ Good contest entry. Good luck.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
Hi...
_ Such a dramatic photo.
_ Having been evacuated because of an impending fire when we lived in the pines, I can honestly understand where this comes from.
_ Such a tragic thing, fire. You depict it so well in your 5.7.5.
_ Good contest entry. Good luck.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Thank you so much Jax, I appreciate your review.