Beneath the Tranquil Sheen
Be a swan.86 total reviews
Comment from Monica Chaddick
This is a beautiful tribute to a swan, and to having a soul mate, in general. I can definitely feel for this lonely swan. I, too, lost my soul mate. I, too, am frantically paddling to keep afloat. I, too, feel that I have mated for life and will remain lonely and struggling the rest of my life. But, like the swan, I shall keep paddling in silence, and below the surface. You did a superb job with this poem. Best of luck!
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2023
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This is a beautiful tribute to a swan, and to having a soul mate, in general. I can definitely feel for this lonely swan. I, too, lost my soul mate. I, too, am frantically paddling to keep afloat. I, too, feel that I have mated for life and will remain lonely and struggling the rest of my life. But, like the swan, I shall keep paddling in silence, and below the surface. You did a superb job with this poem. Best of luck!
Comment Written 06-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2023
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Monica, thank you for this lovely review, I'm so sorry for what you've dealt with. I admire your strength!
Xo
Jessica
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Thank you for the lovely compliment.
Comment from lancellot
Good idea to choose a picture from nature and nice choice of the swan. You do a good projecting a lot of human questions and possibilities on the swan, that brings the reader in and gives them something to relate to on an emotional level. Nice for form too.
I think you have a winner here.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2023
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Good idea to choose a picture from nature and nice choice of the swan. You do a good projecting a lot of human questions and possibilities on the swan, that brings the reader in and gives them something to relate to on an emotional level. Nice for form too.
I think you have a winner here.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2023
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Thank you! Your perceptive reviews are always appreciated.
Xo
Jessica
Comment from Julie Lau
Your photo is lovely, and is deserving of the thoughtful poem which accompanies it. There is the element of amusement which creeps into later stanzas, imagining the 'frantic paddles' which must have to occur sometimes in order to maintain that tranquil appearance. Well done.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2023
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Your photo is lovely, and is deserving of the thoughtful poem which accompanies it. There is the element of amusement which creeps into later stanzas, imagining the 'frantic paddles' which must have to occur sometimes in order to maintain that tranquil appearance. Well done.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2023
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Thank you so much! I appreciate your insightful words and feedback.
Xo
Jessica
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Excellent poem however one suggestion would be to single space within a stanza and double space between them. It would make it easier to read!
Thank you for sharing and many more wonderful blessings to you!
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2023
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Excellent poem however one suggestion would be to single space within a stanza and double space between them. It would make it easier to read!
Thank you for sharing and many more wonderful blessings to you!
Comment Written 06-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2023
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Thank you so much! Excellent suggestion. I've revised. Thank you, again!
Xo
Jessica
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;-)
Comment from Jesse James Doty
I see. You chose the swan and her loss of a mate as a moral lesson for us to guide our lives. This picture is the perfect choice to show us how to live and love again. Thanks for sharing this lovely lesson. I hope others learn before it is too late. I hope you win the contest as you have chosen a perfect photo for an entry to the contest.
Jesse
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2023
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I see. You chose the swan and her loss of a mate as a moral lesson for us to guide our lives. This picture is the perfect choice to show us how to live and love again. Thanks for sharing this lovely lesson. I hope others learn before it is too late. I hope you win the contest as you have chosen a perfect photo for an entry to the contest.
Jesse
Comment Written 06-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2023
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Thank you so much, Jesse! I am moved by your insightful words and I'm so pleased you liked the poem.
Xoxo
Jessica
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Sorry for the delay. I hope you win the contest since you have done so well in choosing a suitable picture.
Thank you for liking my review.
Jesse
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Lovely photo and nice presentation, Jessica.
-A well written poem with a good topic.
-Effective imagery and rhyme tells a good
story about this swan.
-You do a good job setting the scene in
the opening two verses.
-A very good image with "I watch her gentle, graceful glide,"
followed by good questions about her and her situation.
-A very good concluding verse.
-Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2023
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-Lovely photo and nice presentation, Jessica.
-A well written poem with a good topic.
-Effective imagery and rhyme tells a good
story about this swan.
-You do a good job setting the scene in
the opening two verses.
-A very good image with "I watch her gentle, graceful glide,"
followed by good questions about her and her situation.
-A very good concluding verse.
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2023
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Thank you so much, Pam! I am so grateful for your valuable feedback.
Xoxo
Jessica
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You are very welcome. Would you be interested in knowing how to single space your work? It is really easy. Let me know and I will send you a message.
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Yes please! Thank you, that would be so helpful.
Comment from Wendy G
A beautiful poem and well thought through, very well crafted. I like your thoughtfulness about the swan and what loneliness and struggles she feels beneath the surface, after the loss of her partner. Very well done. Lovely photo as well. Best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2023
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A beautiful poem and well thought through, very well crafted. I like your thoughtfulness about the swan and what loneliness and struggles she feels beneath the surface, after the loss of her partner. Very well done. Lovely photo as well. Best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 06-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2023
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Thank you so much, Wendy! I appreciate your kind words and feedback.
Xo
Jessica
Comment from Sanku
true .Things would have been different if we had that much patience .swans are very graceful birds. This particular swan was lonely but still persisted....
the photo is lovely
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2023
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true .Things would have been different if we had that much patience .swans are very graceful birds. This particular swan was lonely but still persisted....
the photo is lovely
Comment Written 06-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2023
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Thank you so much, I appreciate your kind words and feedback.
Xo
Jessica
Comment from Goodadvicechan
This is well written about the life of a lonely swan in the pond.
You mentioned about her persistent behavior. Persistence is the key to get things done.
Thanks for sharing
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2023
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This is well written about the life of a lonely swan in the pond.
You mentioned about her persistent behavior. Persistence is the key to get things done.
Thanks for sharing
Comment Written 05-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2023
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Thank you so much! I agree.
Xo
Jessica
Comment from harmony13
I found this poem very interesting, descriptive and creative. I liked how
this author payed attention to the life of the swan and wrote this poem. The poem flows and connects well. The artwork is lovely and after reading these words I envisioned the life of the swan and as the author states
the persistence of a swan! Great Poem!
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2023
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I found this poem very interesting, descriptive and creative. I liked how
this author payed attention to the life of the swan and wrote this poem. The poem flows and connects well. The artwork is lovely and after reading these words I envisioned the life of the swan and as the author states
the persistence of a swan! Great Poem!
Comment Written 05-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2023
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Thank you so much! I appreciate your feedback.
Xo
Jessica