Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Part three Chapter two"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
82 total reviews
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Barbara,
If the police are slow, she'll need an ambulance ... And her husband needs an 'accident' or two to improve his attitude.
Good ending to the earlier part. Hope the Radio Therapy goes well.
Patrick
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
  |
Hi Barbara,
If the police are slow, she'll need an ambulance ... And her husband needs an 'accident' or two to improve his attitude.
Good ending to the earlier part. Hope the Radio Therapy goes well.
Patrick
Comment Written 10-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
-
I hope the police hurries, but one never knows. They don't like calls on domestic violence. Way too often the victum doesn't press charges. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Dale95
Excellent point about this shameful but common dilemma. And that is a very realistic depiction of how the victim tries to hide the fact from even the potential rescuer. Is this denial, or fear, hope, true love (sarc)? I just don't get it. She is allowing this sociopath to decay further and further into his sickness. Something is missing here in the big picture. Good job at pin-pointing this hidden secret and shinning a light on it.
Just a thought here. What if somebody forced her into an extended intervention program where she would learn martial arts and self efficacy. That is my only suggestion short of buying a gun.
Write On Barb. - Dale
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
|
Excellent point about this shameful but common dilemma. And that is a very realistic depiction of how the victim tries to hide the fact from even the potential rescuer. Is this denial, or fear, hope, true love (sarc)? I just don't get it. She is allowing this sociopath to decay further and further into his sickness. Something is missing here in the big picture. Good job at pin-pointing this hidden secret and shinning a light on it.
Just a thought here. What if somebody forced her into an extended intervention program where she would learn martial arts and self efficacy. That is my only suggestion short of buying a gun.
Write On Barb. - Dale
Comment Written 10-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
-
I would offer her a gun, but Bobby would probably find it and use on Anna. Thank you for you kind review.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
It might be short,
Barbara, but it's
packed with tension..
which Toby is feeling
It's a bit of a sore subject for me, as I had 11 yrs
of mental abuse, that turned physical, altho not so
violent as this. And I had 3 little lads , so trying
to keep it from them was a nightmare. The youngest
was not quite 2, the middle boy 5 and the eldest 9 when I
finally had the brute lawfully put out of the house.. by
then I'd gone down to 7 stone. The eldest one was affected
by it all for some time. Such a long time ago, but reading
this brings it all to the surface.
Anna, its Troy - it's
heard (a)thud
Margaret
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
|
It might be short,
Barbara, but it's
packed with tension..
which Toby is feeling
It's a bit of a sore subject for me, as I had 11 yrs
of mental abuse, that turned physical, altho not so
violent as this. And I had 3 little lads , so trying
to keep it from them was a nightmare. The youngest
was not quite 2, the middle boy 5 and the eldest 9 when I
finally had the brute lawfully put out of the house.. by
then I'd gone down to 7 stone. The eldest one was affected
by it all for some time. Such a long time ago, but reading
this brings it all to the surface.
Anna, its Troy - it's
heard (a)thud
Margaret
Comment Written 10-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
-
I am sorry you have to live under those circurmstances. I am glad you was lucky enough to get out of it. I have already fixed the it's. I will fix the thud. I appreciate your kind review.
-
Thank you, Barbara.. it was a long time ago, but I used to have nightmares even after I met and married Colin... and when I woke up to find I was with him (and not still with that brute who gave me the nightmares) I thanked the Lord. M
Comment from moyramouse
Short but full on! Thank goodness Troy has cared enough to check on Anna, he trusted his gut reaction. His reaction to the abuse lets us know that he witnessed it first hand when he was growing up. I hope the police get there in time, and I hope little Michael is okay.
I am so glad to hear that the radiation has gone well. Get lots of rest, it creeps up on you. HOoding you in my prayers, xxxmouse
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
|
Short but full on! Thank goodness Troy has cared enough to check on Anna, he trusted his gut reaction. His reaction to the abuse lets us know that he witnessed it first hand when he was growing up. I hope the police get there in time, and I hope little Michael is okay.
I am so glad to hear that the radiation has gone well. Get lots of rest, it creeps up on you. HOoding you in my prayers, xxxmouse
Comment Written 10-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
-
Thank you for your prayers. I appreciate your kind review.
Comment from Realist101
My first husband was this way. He tried to stab me with a fork once when I was nine months pregnant...this is intense for me and really brings back memories Barb. Great chapter, it does not have to be long, to be good! Hey, and I am moving and will be shutting my computer down tomorrow? So, I wish you all the best and hope to be back soon. I will keep you in my heart Barb! LOVE! Susan
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
|
My first husband was this way. He tried to stab me with a fork once when I was nine months pregnant...this is intense for me and really brings back memories Barb. Great chapter, it does not have to be long, to be good! Hey, and I am moving and will be shutting my computer down tomorrow? So, I wish you all the best and hope to be back soon. I will keep you in my heart Barb! LOVE! Susan
Comment Written 10-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
-
My prayers are with your move. I know it can be a stressful time. I am glad you got out of that marriage. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from JW
This part makes another excellent addiction to your story. It is so realistic, it's not funny. I know since my father was an abusive alcoholic. Scenes like this are like echoes from my past.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
|
This part makes another excellent addiction to your story. It is so realistic, it's not funny. I know since my father was an abusive alcoholic. Scenes like this are like echoes from my past.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review and understanding.
Comment from lola29
I admire someone like Troy, who does the right and interferes when people are placed in harm's way. I feel sorry for Anna because she's been so abused by a monster that she probably feels unworthy of help, but she's got to fight for her baby. This chapter leads me to believe that help is on the way.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
|
I admire someone like Troy, who does the right and interferes when people are placed in harm's way. I feel sorry for Anna because she's been so abused by a monster that she probably feels unworthy of help, but she's got to fight for her baby. This chapter leads me to believe that help is on the way.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from driven
I like this as much as I like the other chapters in this story. The way that antagonist acts in the story really peeves me; I hope he gets his due. Great pacing. very tight. Just a couple of things to watch:
He heard Anna's voice, "We don't need anything." The door started to close.
>Whenever you begin someone talking for teh first time, you should have a new paragraph/sentence. Besides that, it shouldn't be a cap the way you ghave it here...that makes it two senteces and you have a comma. lol, I hope that made sense.
"Anna, its Troy." >it's
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
|
I like this as much as I like the other chapters in this story. The way that antagonist acts in the story really peeves me; I hope he gets his due. Great pacing. very tight. Just a couple of things to watch:
He heard Anna's voice, "We don't need anything." The door started to close.
>Whenever you begin someone talking for teh first time, you should have a new paragraph/sentence. Besides that, it shouldn't be a cap the way you ghave it here...that makes it two senteces and you have a comma. lol, I hope that made sense.
"Anna, its Troy." >it's
Comment Written 10-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
-
I will fix the it's, but I question the dialogue. According to my grammar books, I am correct. Now, I do question about starting the new paragraph, I understand it would normally be a new paragraph, but since Troy heard it I am not sure. It's not like she was actually speaking. I will wait and see what other's say about it. Thank you for your kind review.
-
you may be right! Let me know!
-
Not a problem.
-
You say it's not like she's actually speaking, but she is definitely speaking...I'm not sure what you man by that.
-
Troy heard her say it. I am in Troy's POV. She is the only one speaking in that paragraph and nobody else has questioned it, so far. I am thinking I am okay with it. I know I am okay with the capitalization. That's how you write dialogue. I have checked 5 grammar books.
-
This is what I've found online: 3.When a tag line interrupts a sentence, it should be set off by commas. Note that the first letter of the second half of the sentence is in lower case, as in this example from Flannery O'Connor's "Greenleaf":
"That is," Wesley said, "that neither you nor me is her boy..."
-
That part is true, but in my sentence, would read like, Wesely said, "That neither you nor me is her boy..." It is is without the first part "That is," The 'that is' is what causes the 'that neither to be lower case.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written with good form and good flow, a great job writing this chapter for your book, i always love reading your work, i am glad radition is better for you.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
|
this is very well written with good form and good flow, a great job writing this chapter for your book, i always love reading your work, i am glad radition is better for you.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review and encouragement.
Comment from Deejharrington
Troy did the only option open to him to save Anna. Now will she press charges against her husband? That happens so many times, women beat down so badly they are afraid to. The pay back could be worse. I hope Anna is strong enough.
deb
glad to hear your doing OK, stay strong!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
|
Troy did the only option open to him to save Anna. Now will she press charges against her husband? That happens so many times, women beat down so badly they are afraid to. The pay back could be worse. I hope Anna is strong enough.
deb
glad to hear your doing OK, stay strong!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review and support.