Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 47 "Part one, Chapter 15"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
74 total reviews
Comment from Christina 201
Don't stop now I've just got interested. This is the first bit of your story I have read, but it stands alone as an attention getter that requires finishing. Great writing. I will look for more. Please let the girl get the guy and the guy get the girl. This was an easy read that grabbed my attention.
There was a small typo or ommission in the early chapters and the following interrupted the flow as I pondered grammar and spelling.
tilted her head -not titled (early in the second section of your work)
no differently than he would.... differently seems better to me
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2012
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Don't stop now I've just got interested. This is the first bit of your story I have read, but it stands alone as an attention getter that requires finishing. Great writing. I will look for more. Please let the girl get the guy and the guy get the girl. This was an easy read that grabbed my attention.
There was a small typo or ommission in the early chapters and the following interrupted the flow as I pondered grammar and spelling.
tilted her head -not titled (early in the second section of your work)
no differently than he would.... differently seems better to me
Comment Written 08-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2012
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I have made the changes. Thank you for the eagle eye.
Comment from c_lucas
Troy is not following the "husband syndrome." He is proving to be too helpful. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2012
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Troy is not following the "husband syndrome." He is proving to be too helpful. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2012
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True, I am sure if Troy and Anna get married, he'd be a typical man. LOL. Thank you for the kind review.
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You're welcome, Barbara. Charlie
Comment from Deek Webb
I really liked the use of dialog in the this chapter. I'm someone who leans towards dialog driven writing, it develops characters better. Great work.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2012
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I really liked the use of dialog in the this chapter. I'm someone who leans towards dialog driven writing, it develops characters better. Great work.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2012
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I am a dialogue driven type of writer. I don't do a lot of lengthy descriptions. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from adewpearl
Anna, would you like this painting? - add question mark
Let's have seat - a seat
Anna and her lack of confidence kills me as she thinks she's nothing more than Troy's temporary pet project. I could throttle her! LOL Brooke :-)
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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2012
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Anna, would you like this painting? - add question mark
Let's have seat - a seat
Anna and her lack of confidence kills me as she thinks she's nothing more than Troy's temporary pet project. I could throttle her! LOL Brooke :-)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2012
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I could throttle her myself, but she was severly abused. It takes time. I am working on making her stronger. The next post, she comes around, a little. Thank you for your eagle eye.