Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 66 "Anna's in a coma."Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
81 total reviews
Comment from dportwood
barbara,
Nicely descriptive of the scene in the hospital room. Perhaps comatose patients do respond to outside stimuli. Time will tell. Well done.
Two items:
Anna's in a [comma]. by barbara.wilkey
should be [coma]
darted to Anna's [lifeless] body lying in bed.
maybe use [limp] or [unconscious] since 'lifeless' indicates no life
Respectfully,
Duane
reply by the author on 13-May-2012
  |
barbara,
Nicely descriptive of the scene in the hospital room. Perhaps comatose patients do respond to outside stimuli. Time will tell. Well done.
Two items:
Anna's in a [comma]. by barbara.wilkey
should be [coma]
darted to Anna's [lifeless] body lying in bed.
maybe use [limp] or [unconscious] since 'lifeless' indicates no life
Respectfully,
Duane
Comment Written 13-May-2012
reply by the author on 13-May-2012
-
Another reviewer suggested I use something other than lifeless and I have been thinking about it. I like unconscious. Thank you for helping me with that.
Comment from judiverse
This is wonderful for Mother's Day, Barbara. You show how Anna's love draws her to respond to her little son. It's a touching scene when she calls Michael's name. Things look favorable for her coming out of her coma. Dialogue is very good and realistic. When you refer to Anna's "lifeless" body early in this portion, I wonder if you might find another word because lifeless makes it sound like she's dead. judi
reply by the author on 13-May-2012
|
This is wonderful for Mother's Day, Barbara. You show how Anna's love draws her to respond to her little son. It's a touching scene when she calls Michael's name. Things look favorable for her coming out of her coma. Dialogue is very good and realistic. When you refer to Anna's "lifeless" body early in this portion, I wonder if you might find another word because lifeless makes it sound like she's dead. judi
Comment Written 13-May-2012
reply by the author on 13-May-2012
-
I will search for another word. I understand your point. Thank you for the kind review.
-
You're so welcome. judi
Comment from adewpearl
typo in title - Anna's in a comma - coma
A most dramatic scene by Anna's bedside
You're breaking my heart as Michael cries for his Mama.
I love how much Tony believes in her even if the doctor is saying that scientifically it a big stretch :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 13-May-2012
|
typo in title - Anna's in a comma - coma
A most dramatic scene by Anna's bedside
You're breaking my heart as Michael cries for his Mama.
I love how much Tony believes in her even if the doctor is saying that scientifically it a big stretch :-) Brooke
Comment Written 13-May-2012
reply by the author on 13-May-2012
-
Thank you for the kind review and I will fix that typo.
Comment from Anastajiya
This is a very nice and romantic story. It really seeped me in and it also was nicely used with the characters. As soon as I started reading it it was so good it made me want to read on and on! great job!
reply by the author on 13-May-2012
|
This is a very nice and romantic story. It really seeped me in and it also was nicely used with the characters. As soon as I started reading it it was so good it made me want to read on and on! great job!
Comment Written 13-May-2012
reply by the author on 13-May-2012
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Cumbrianlass
A very touching chapter, Barbara. Love that Anna responded to her child, and I can quite believe it. Few things are stronger than the bond between mother and child. It looks like she's going to recover.
Great emotion expressed here. Well done.
Hugs, Av
A few small things:
Could be heard through the door. - Mama, Mama...", could be heard through the door
Paul leaned against (the) door.
tell Margaret (to) bring Michael back."
Betty encouraged her to come out of the comma. - coma
from the comma this soon." - coma
Watch her eye lid movement - eyelid
reply by the author on 13-May-2012
|
A very touching chapter, Barbara. Love that Anna responded to her child, and I can quite believe it. Few things are stronger than the bond between mother and child. It looks like she's going to recover.
Great emotion expressed here. Well done.
Hugs, Av
A few small things:
Could be heard through the door. - Mama, Mama...", could be heard through the door
Paul leaned against (the) door.
tell Margaret (to) bring Michael back."
Betty encouraged her to come out of the comma. - coma
from the comma this soon." - coma
Watch her eye lid movement - eyelid
Comment Written 13-May-2012
reply by the author on 13-May-2012
-
Thank you for catching those. I appreciate it and will be right on it.
Comment from mumsyone
You've brought tears to my eyes with this chapter, Barbara. Good job! I enjoyed reading it.
"Dad, tell Margaret (to) bring Michael back."
reply by the author on 13-May-2012
|
You've brought tears to my eyes with this chapter, Barbara. Good job! I enjoyed reading it.
"Dad, tell Margaret (to) bring Michael back."
Comment Written 13-May-2012
reply by the author on 13-May-2012
-
I will make the correction right away. Thank you.
Comment from guinea
Excellent. I have been following some of this book. It is very powerful. espcially this scene. I want Anna to wake up so bad. Good work.
reply by the author on 13-May-2012
|
Excellent. I have been following some of this book. It is very powerful. espcially this scene. I want Anna to wake up so bad. Good work.
Comment Written 13-May-2012
reply by the author on 13-May-2012
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Carrie Carson
I think it is wonderful to take on this issue.
The lead for this says Anna is in a comma, but the story line is coma, just to let you know.
Thanks for your efforts.
reply by the author on 13-May-2012
|
I think it is wonderful to take on this issue.
The lead for this says Anna is in a comma, but the story line is coma, just to let you know.
Thanks for your efforts.
Comment Written 13-May-2012
reply by the author on 13-May-2012
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Janie King
i hope that is a good sigh..she is the one saying ..Michael? Oh dear, now another week of waiting...our schools are out May 25th...how soon is your school out? Good, nerve wracking chapter. God bless.
reply by the author on 13-May-2012
|
i hope that is a good sigh..she is the one saying ..Michael? Oh dear, now another week of waiting...our schools are out May 25th...how soon is your school out? Good, nerve wracking chapter. God bless.
Comment Written 13-May-2012
reply by the author on 13-May-2012
-
My last day is June 1st. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, barbara, you did a great job writing this chapter where anna responds to michael and she opens her eyes to look at him to the amazement of the doctors.
reply by the author on 13-May-2012
|
this is very well written, barbara, you did a great job writing this chapter where anna responds to michael and she opens her eyes to look at him to the amazement of the doctors.
Comment Written 13-May-2012
reply by the author on 13-May-2012
-
Thank you for the kind review and support. I appreciate both.