King Sawyer
a story poem in rhyming couplets115 total reviews
Comment from Janet Foor
King Sawyer is delightful from start to finish Brooke. Wonderful rhyming couplets. Smooth cadence throughout this clever story in a poem. Loved the ending. Definitely want to be the one in charge.
Best of luck in the contest.
Janet
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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King Sawyer is delightful from start to finish Brooke. Wonderful rhyming couplets. Smooth cadence throughout this clever story in a poem. Loved the ending. Definitely want to be the one in charge.
Best of luck in the contest.
Janet
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Thank you, Janet, for your thoughtful reading of this poem and for your generous rating :-) Brooke
Comment from OLA THOMAS
Hmm! Great thought, deep message. Better to be the 'leader' than 'the led'. Leaders take all the credits for all the efforts of 'the led', and 'the led' takes the blame for any failure. I love this creation.
ola thomas
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Hmm! Great thought, deep message. Better to be the 'leader' than 'the led'. Leaders take all the credits for all the efforts of 'the led', and 'the led' takes the blame for any failure. I love this creation.
ola thomas
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Ola, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Terror2s
Delegation is important, even in your sleep. Those sand castle days were fun. I do like that second to last stanza. I bet daddy is a very good castle builder- maybe mommy too. T2
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
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Delegation is important, even in your sleep. Those sand castle days were fun. I do like that second to last stanza. I bet daddy is a very good castle builder- maybe mommy too. T2
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
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Thanks so much, Abby. Actually, Mommy built the castle after the King's daddy couldn't manage to make it come out right. LOL Brooke
Comment from starkat
Hello Brooke.
This is a delightful, imaginative children's story poem. Wonderful rhymes and solid meter woven throughout the quatrains keeps the story flowing smoothly. What a fascinating tale you tell. King Sawyer is quite the monarch who thought the thought that saved the day. That's clever that King Sawyer found another three to add to his minions. King Sawyer is quite resourceful, and it's good that he's in charge rather than those minions.
I imagine that the fierce storm might be high tide at Redondo Beach which may wash away all of Sawyer's castle-building efforts for the day. If so, on another day he could even build a bigger and better sand castle and moat with help from the million three, of course. That's quite the sand castle project he has going. I'll bet he had such fun creating it. This will a memory he will re-live and talk about for a long time. It was super inspiration for your fun children's poem.
Your story poem is so well written. I imagine it will be a strong entry in this story poem contest. Wishing you the best. Cheers ... ;o) Art
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
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Hello Brooke.
This is a delightful, imaginative children's story poem. Wonderful rhymes and solid meter woven throughout the quatrains keeps the story flowing smoothly. What a fascinating tale you tell. King Sawyer is quite the monarch who thought the thought that saved the day. That's clever that King Sawyer found another three to add to his minions. King Sawyer is quite resourceful, and it's good that he's in charge rather than those minions.
I imagine that the fierce storm might be high tide at Redondo Beach which may wash away all of Sawyer's castle-building efforts for the day. If so, on another day he could even build a bigger and better sand castle and moat with help from the million three, of course. That's quite the sand castle project he has going. I'll bet he had such fun creating it. This will a memory he will re-live and talk about for a long time. It was super inspiration for your fun children's poem.
Your story poem is so well written. I imagine it will be a strong entry in this story poem contest. Wishing you the best. Cheers ... ;o) Art
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
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Thanks so very much, Art - actually, the King's mommy did the building. LOL She had to take over the castle construction after the King's daddy couldn't manage it. ;-) Brooke
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
What a cute story for your story poem, Brooke. It's totally engaging and inventive, delightfully appealing to anyone who has a grandson. I can see many wise grandparents nodding, LOL. My very best wishes for the competition, Giddy
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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What a cute story for your story poem, Brooke. It's totally engaging and inventive, delightfully appealing to anyone who has a grandson. I can see many wise grandparents nodding, LOL. My very best wishes for the competition, Giddy
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Giddy, thank you so much for your kind contest wishes and positive review :-) Brooke
Comment from ArtGal
Brooke, this has to be a winner for sure! What a wonderful story, and your wording really amazes me. At times even moreso, like this one! The two sentences that stood out to me were, "but Sawyer took the credit since he'd found the extra three." And, "it's best to be the one in charge than in the million-three." So very good from beginning to end, and you really do have a wild imagination, lol. . .Sharon
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Brooke, this has to be a winner for sure! What a wonderful story, and your wording really amazes me. At times even moreso, like this one! The two sentences that stood out to me were, "but Sawyer took the credit since he'd found the extra three." And, "it's best to be the one in charge than in the million-three." So very good from beginning to end, and you really do have a wild imagination, lol. . .Sharon
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Sharon, thank you so much :-) Brooke
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So very welcome, Brooke.
Comment from abbasjoy
Yes, indeed! To be the one in charge is the best position to be in. To give all the orders and not take any advice, even good ones, but it's not necessarily wise.
Funnily enough, this little tale about Sawyer, is a common tale among many. Yet we continue doing it, even when it's pointed out to us, frustrating others around us to the nth degree.
I know some Sawyers, they live close by.
Loved this story in a poem.
abbasjoy
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Yes, indeed! To be the one in charge is the best position to be in. To give all the orders and not take any advice, even good ones, but it's not necessarily wise.
Funnily enough, this little tale about Sawyer, is a common tale among many. Yet we continue doing it, even when it's pointed out to us, frustrating others around us to the nth degree.
I know some Sawyers, they live close by.
Loved this story in a poem.
abbasjoy
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Thank you, abbasjoy, for your thoughtful comments and positive review :-) Brooke
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Love it.
Comment from livelylinda
Brooke: So much fun again! You could be in charge or just around two years old. . .It is a magical story which carries the reader along in rhyme and rhythm for a joyous ride. Good luck in the contest. Linda
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Brooke: So much fun again! You could be in charge or just around two years old. . .It is a magical story which carries the reader along in rhyme and rhythm for a joyous ride. Good luck in the contest. Linda
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Linda, thank you so much :-) I appreciate your kind contest wishes and generous sixth star :-) Brooke
Comment from rjuselius
Haha.lol. This is a great entry for the share a story in a poem!! It's really a feel good piece of
poetic art.
thank you so much for sharing!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
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Haha.lol. This is a great entry for the share a story in a poem!! It's really a feel good piece of
poetic art.
thank you so much for sharing!
rebekka x
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
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rebekka, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from InterestingRon
Hi Brooke,
The adventures of King Sawyer! He's even thinking like a king.
My middle name is Arthur, after my grandfather. At school my mates would call me King Arthur. Maybe your poem will promote Sawyer?
Good luck in the contest.
Ron x
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
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Hi Brooke,
The adventures of King Sawyer! He's even thinking like a king.
My middle name is Arthur, after my grandfather. At school my mates would call me King Arthur. Maybe your poem will promote Sawyer?
Good luck in the contest.
Ron x
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
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Ron, thank you so much :-) Brooke