Haiku (beneath smoky skies)
Observed and heard when temperatures reached 106 degrees.91 total reviews
Comment from Heather Knight
Your haiku is very visual, Andre.
So the reason pine cones open is the heat? I didn't know that.
I have to say I'm not too fond of pines because they make everything dirty with their needles.
Lovely picture to accompany a lovely little poem.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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Your haiku is very visual, Andre.
So the reason pine cones open is the heat? I didn't know that.
I have to say I'm not too fond of pines because they make everything dirty with their needles.
Lovely picture to accompany a lovely little poem.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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Thank you, Maria, for your kind review and contest well wishes. Until two days ago, I did not know that extreme heat causes pine cones to pop open to disperse their seeds. Temperatures reach a record 106 degree Friday.
Comment from RGstar
Nicely generated. Good elaborate wording in the places that should. Great imagery and good expressive qualities, especially where imagery is concerned, for example,
''pine cones pop open''
This gave movement to the still image when comes alive with the contrasts of the wilting evergreens to the crackling and popping open.
Well done.
Good luck.
RGstar
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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Nicely generated. Good elaborate wording in the places that should. Great imagery and good expressive qualities, especially where imagery is concerned, for example,
''pine cones pop open''
This gave movement to the still image when comes alive with the contrasts of the wilting evergreens to the crackling and popping open.
Well done.
Good luck.
RGstar
Comment Written 03-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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Oh, thank you, RG, for your kind review and contest well wishes. The sound of crackling from the pines in 106 degree heat two days ago astounded me. At first I thought that woodpeckers or squirrels made the sound, but observed that none were in the trees and the sound only came from trees with pine cones. I Googled it and found that extreme heat causes pine cones to pop open. Thanks.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Andre, your haiku is so evocative, I swear I can smell the smoke of this forest fire. I certainly 'hear' the sound of its rage. British Columbia, one of Canada's beautiful provinces, has been ravaged by fires this season - hundreds still burning, thousands of people evacuated. Your haiku calls it all up...
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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Andre, your haiku is so evocative, I swear I can smell the smoke of this forest fire. I certainly 'hear' the sound of its rage. British Columbia, one of Canada's beautiful provinces, has been ravaged by fires this season - hundreds still burning, thousands of people evacuated. Your haiku calls it all up...
Comment Written 03-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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Yes, Dawn, on Friday I was near San Francisco, smelling the smoke of distant wildfires while hearing pine cones pop open in the 106 degree heat. On Saturday I visited Los Angeles which is having the largest brush fire in the city's history. Thank you for your review.
Comment from jenintorre
A wonderfully slick Haiku poem. I really enjoyed it. It made perfect sense which is not always the case. Very discriptive and atmospheric.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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A wonderfully slick Haiku poem. I really enjoyed it. It made perfect sense which is not always the case. Very discriptive and atmospheric.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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Yes, I write Haiku that make perfect sense and require no explanation because my words are descriptive and atmospheric. Thank you for review.
Comment from BOO ghost
sensational. really nice job on the haiku. Love each word. Oh,a contest. guess my mirror haiku don't qualify.Is a double haiku. yep, perfect words bro, can not see how you can loose this contest. be watching show. Wow! 106 degrees. Something you did not pop open. Oh, this is a beauty. oh, just posted an epic gunfighter showdown with you in it! Don't miss the gunfight. Your dueling with mustang. he --he. Somebody has to lose. here is your gold nugget.
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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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sensational. really nice job on the haiku. Love each word. Oh,a contest. guess my mirror haiku don't qualify.Is a double haiku. yep, perfect words bro, can not see how you can loose this contest. be watching show. Wow! 106 degrees. Something you did not pop open. Oh, this is a beauty. oh, just posted an epic gunfighter showdown with you in it! Don't miss the gunfight. Your dueling with mustang. he --he. Somebody has to lose. here is your gold nugget.
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Comment Written 03-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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Oh, thank you, Boo, for your generous, six star review and contest well wishes. Yes, I'm amazed that I did not pop open in that heat. I will check out your story. Thanks.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Absolutely perfect and I have heard this same thing in Canada when the temperature reached 110.
Beneath smokey skies---from the heat and even fire
wilted evergreens crackle----being stepped on or as the nettles fall
then the satori----pine cones pop open, very audible
Nicely done
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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Absolutely perfect and I have heard this same thing in Canada when the temperature reached 110.
Beneath smokey skies---from the heat and even fire
wilted evergreens crackle----being stepped on or as the nettles fall
then the satori----pine cones pop open, very audible
Nicely done
Comment Written 03-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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Oh, thank you, Barb, for your kind review. I did not step on the pine cones and needles during my walk but listened to the evergreens. Pine cones on the trees crackled as they popped open.
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Hello there my friend: Wow two of my favorite Poets posted. I was not going to read or review tonight but checked in anyway and to my surprise you have posted. I eagerly clicked on your post also because I love to read anything you write. You gave me my usual smile on a day that I really don't want to smile but thank you for always being that one who can put smile on my sad face.
Wow! 106 degrees in California on Friday Septmber 01, 2017? Incredible, I can't imagine that kind of heat since this never happens in New York. It is cold up here already. It was cold in Ohio while I was there on vacation and I return to New York to even colder than there. Well so be it for the summer. It was nice while it lasted.
I love your haiku. It gave me an idea of what that kind if heat was like on that fire-y day. I may have mispelled (fiery) Forgive me I will checked later on the spelling.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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Hello there my friend: Wow two of my favorite Poets posted. I was not going to read or review tonight but checked in anyway and to my surprise you have posted. I eagerly clicked on your post also because I love to read anything you write. You gave me my usual smile on a day that I really don't want to smile but thank you for always being that one who can put smile on my sad face.
Wow! 106 degrees in California on Friday Septmber 01, 2017? Incredible, I can't imagine that kind of heat since this never happens in New York. It is cold up here already. It was cold in Ohio while I was there on vacation and I return to New York to even colder than there. Well so be it for the summer. It was nice while it lasted.
I love your haiku. It gave me an idea of what that kind if heat was like on that fire-y day. I may have mispelled (fiery) Forgive me I will checked later on the spelling.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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Oh, thank you, Tier, for your kind review. Temperatures reached 108 degree when I drove to Los Angeles the next day which is having the largest brush fire in city history. I am glad my poem made you smile.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Good heavens, Andre!
First of all, it takes an awfully lot of high high heat and sweltering temps sustained for long periods of time for an evergreen tree to even begin to wilt.
Second, I can only imagine how hot it must be for pine cones to pop open like popcorn kernels.
Your haiku conveys this image vividly in a traditional westernized haiku composed of exactly seventeen syllables.
Lines one and two feature good concrete imagery, your seasonal reference is obviously summer, and it all ties together nicely with the culmination of your satori line.
Very well done, Andre.
Just for the record the Haiku is comprised of a syllable count of 5-7-5.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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Good heavens, Andre!
First of all, it takes an awfully lot of high high heat and sweltering temps sustained for long periods of time for an evergreen tree to even begin to wilt.
Second, I can only imagine how hot it must be for pine cones to pop open like popcorn kernels.
Your haiku conveys this image vividly in a traditional westernized haiku composed of exactly seventeen syllables.
Lines one and two feature good concrete imagery, your seasonal reference is obviously summer, and it all ties together nicely with the culmination of your satori line.
Very well done, Andre.
Just for the record the Haiku is comprised of a syllable count of 5-7-5.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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Oh, thank you, Dean, for your kind review. It got hotter yesterday when I visited 108 degree Los Angeles which is having the largest brush fire in city history. I can see the hills burn two blocks away. I may write descriptive Haiku about this, too. Thanks again.
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It's always a pleasure, my friend.
~Dean
Comment from DR DIP
beneath smokey skies...................bushfires
wilted evergreens crackle.........Evergreen trees buckle and crackle with the heat
pine cones pop open..The heat explodes the pine cones.
Is that how I should interpret the lines?
thanks for sharing
dip
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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beneath smokey skies...................bushfires
wilted evergreens crackle.........Evergreen trees buckle and crackle with the heat
pine cones pop open..The heat explodes the pine cones.
Is that how I should interpret the lines?
thanks for sharing
dip
Comment Written 03-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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Thank you, Dip, for your kind, interpretive review. The pine cones on the evergreens make a crackling sound when they pop open in extreme heat. Thank you for your review.
Comment from lyenochka
Wow! Pine cones pop open! That must be some really high heat. I always wondered how they open those pine nuts and why we can only buy pine nuts from China when we have plenty of pine trees here in the US. Sorry - distracted. Great description of the fire with the smells, sights of smoke and the texture of wilted plus the sounds of popping. Only sense left was tasting - which leads me back to pine nuts! :))
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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Wow! Pine cones pop open! That must be some really high heat. I always wondered how they open those pine nuts and why we can only buy pine nuts from China when we have plenty of pine trees here in the US. Sorry - distracted. Great description of the fire with the smells, sights of smoke and the texture of wilted plus the sounds of popping. Only sense left was tasting - which leads me back to pine nuts! :))
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
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Yes, I love my pine nuts and ate done yesterday in my pesto, but, my, it has been hot here. Fires burn everywhere. Thank you for your review.