goodbyes to loved ones
6-6 rhymed contest entry9 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a very terse and true description of emotion at a funeral or visiting a grave. It shows the pain of grief. This grave looks so lonely.
Congrats of placing third in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2021
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This is a very terse and true description of emotion at a funeral or visiting a grave. It shows the pain of grief. This grave looks so lonely.
Congrats of placing third in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
dragonpoet
Comment Written 09-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2021
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Thanks dragonpoem!
Your generous remarks are in sync with the meaning I wanted to express. My placement is just a bonus.
Mark
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You're welcomc, Mark. Glad I understood your intended meaning.
Joan
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Mark--Congrats on your prize for this poignant piece--evocative of mourning at the graveside of one recently deceased--perhaps a final goodbye right after the stone was erected. Cheers. LIZ
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2021
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Mark--Congrats on your prize for this poignant piece--evocative of mourning at the graveside of one recently deceased--perhaps a final goodbye right after the stone was erected. Cheers. LIZ
Comment Written 04-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2021
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Liz,
Thank you for your congrats. In my mind, this is especially sweet because the contest committee made the choice and not those who submitted poems for the contest. I am happy with the FanStory funny money to promote future entries or to enter contests.
Mark
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So true--member contests are per popularity!
Comment from Joanne Gill-Maddick
This is a Beautifully written two line poem. Salty tears drip from my eyes . Graveside trip with good byes. Good photo to go with your poem. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2021
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This is a Beautifully written two line poem. Salty tears drip from my eyes . Graveside trip with good byes. Good photo to go with your poem. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2021
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Thanks for your review and good wishes Joanne! Pleased my overall presentation agreed with you.
Mark
Comment from Erika Seshadri
Lovely! I'm always impressed when writers can fit such emotion into so few words. I see this is an entry into the two line essence poem contest. Good luck to you on that. I look forward to reading more of your work!
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021
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Lovely! I'm always impressed when writers can fit such emotion into so few words. I see this is an entry into the two line essence poem contest. Good luck to you on that. I look forward to reading more of your work!
Comment Written 27-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021
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THANKS Erika for your encouraging review! I dropped down in syllable count from my typical 5-7-5 format to enter the contest. This contest allowed me to use word play too with rhymes. Longer verses are not within my poetry wheelhouse.
Mark
Comment from zanya
This Two- line poem doesn't waste a precious word in the format outline and succeeds in its brevity in reminding us of those difficult moments in life when we must say farewell to a loved one forever
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021
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This Two- line poem doesn't waste a precious word in the format outline and succeeds in its brevity in reminding us of those difficult moments in life when we must say farewell to a loved one forever
Comment Written 27-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021
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THANKS for your review of this contest entry. I too have shed tears at my graveside visits, especially for my family members.
Mark
Comment from Carol Clark2
There is powerful emotion packed into these few words and 2 lines, with the salty tears and saying of goodbyes. I like the internal rhyme as well as the end rhyme. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021
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There is powerful emotion packed into these few words and 2 lines, with the salty tears and saying of goodbyes. I like the internal rhyme as well as the end rhyme. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021
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Carol,
THANKS for your review of my contest entry. So pleased with your comments and how you said the same.
Mark
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My pleasure.
Comment from tempeste
Yes, despite death is part of life , it's always hard to except it when it comes to take someone we love away ...especially unexpectedly ... and we were not given the opportunity to say those certain words we always put off for another day.
Your poem reads so smoothly and the rhyme is perfect
PS: I read you comment in note section and don't agree
with all due respect to the William Shakespeare his lines were written for a play ..a melodramma ... and so the words are overly saccharine.. sickly sweet... for my tastes
your words delivery more of a punch
because straight forward , direct ( it's hard to explain)
Anyway well done !
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2020
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Yes, despite death is part of life , it's always hard to except it when it comes to take someone we love away ...especially unexpectedly ... and we were not given the opportunity to say those certain words we always put off for another day.
Your poem reads so smoothly and the rhyme is perfect
PS: I read you comment in note section and don't agree
with all due respect to the William Shakespeare his lines were written for a play ..a melodramma ... and so the words are overly saccharine.. sickly sweet... for my tastes
your words delivery more of a punch
because straight forward , direct ( it's hard to explain)
Anyway well done !
Comment Written 28-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2020
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Tempeste,
I do enjoy your review, comments, and personal glimpses. So THANK YOU again for those twinkling stars.
Mark
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Ciao Marco !
you have 4 votes now ...
..fingers crossed you make the podium !
Comment from moonsunrise
This is a very somber but real 6-6 rhymed contest entry poem on loss.
If only we could all escape these goodbyes. I have said goodbye more times than I can say. It is a part of life that everyone must go through and endure, Losing a loved one or someone close to you is never easy, no matter how old they may be.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2020
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This is a very somber but real 6-6 rhymed contest entry poem on loss.
If only we could all escape these goodbyes. I have said goodbye more times than I can say. It is a part of life that everyone must go through and endure, Losing a loved one or someone close to you is never easy, no matter how old they may be.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2020
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Yes, this may be sad but during this holiday season we do recall those love ones who are no longer in our physical presence. The world has lost many good souls during Covid 2020. They too are remembered.
Mark
Comment from robyn corum
Mark,
Well, this is a sad little post. Especially right here at the best time of the year. --sigh-- Which makes it even more pensive, if you ask me. We hate to admit it but death comes to all and the time is never predictable. Thanks!
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2020
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Mark,
Well, this is a sad little post. Especially right here at the best time of the year. --sigh-- Which makes it even more pensive, if you ask me. We hate to admit it but death comes to all and the time is never predictable. Thanks!
Comment Written 28-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2020
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Robyn,
Yes, it may be sad. ?Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say goodnight till it be morrow.? But during this holiday time, we often think of our love ones who have passed on. And during this pandemic year, many in the world will be thinking of those who have been lost to the virus.
Mark