The Shed
Through the eyes of a child /short story11 total reviews
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Poignant rendition of childhood in the reign of Corona--masterfully related in the POV of this scared and confused girl--the narration rings true, as do the SPAGs!
reply by the author on 09-May-2021
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Poignant rendition of childhood in the reign of Corona--masterfully related in the POV of this scared and confused girl--the narration rings true, as do the SPAGs!
Comment Written 08-May-2021
reply by the author on 09-May-2021
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Superb review zanya
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I like your approach to the prompt, zanya. I can see a young child writing this letter to Gramps. The wording sounds just like that of this child. Also, the child would 'ramble' and not use line breaks. S/he would write just what came to his/her mind at the time regardless of any kind of organization.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 09-May-2021
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I like your approach to the prompt, zanya. I can see a young child writing this letter to Gramps. The wording sounds just like that of this child. Also, the child would 'ramble' and not use line breaks. S/he would write just what came to his/her mind at the time regardless of any kind of organization.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 08-May-2021
reply by the author on 09-May-2021
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Superb review zanya
Comment from Bill Schott
This child perspective story, The Shed, certainly could be part of the pandemic tales we have and counting. had to endure this last year. Well done.
reply by the author on 09-May-2021
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This child perspective story, The Shed, certainly could be part of the pandemic tales we have and counting. had to endure this last year. Well done.
Comment Written 08-May-2021
reply by the author on 09-May-2021
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Thanks for sharing zanya
Comment from equestrik
Seeing this pandemic from the eyes of a child is really interesting. I feel you have done a good job without bringing forth the ideas and opinions of adults too much.
reply by the author on 07-May-2021
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Seeing this pandemic from the eyes of a child is really interesting. I feel you have done a good job without bringing forth the ideas and opinions of adults too much.
Comment Written 06-May-2021
reply by the author on 07-May-2021
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Congrats on your winning entry. Thanks for reading and reviewing. It was an interesting prompt. Zanya
Comment from Anne Johnston
This is very well written and probably a true picture of how a lot of children are feeling at this time. It must be hard for them to understand what exactly is going on. You have done a great job of picturing what is going on in their minds.
reply by the author on 07-May-2021
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This is very well written and probably a true picture of how a lot of children are feeling at this time. It must be hard for them to understand what exactly is going on. You have done a great job of picturing what is going on in their minds.
Comment Written 06-May-2021
reply by the author on 07-May-2021
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Great reveiw zanya
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You are welcome
Comment from Bonnie Seach
Such an enjoyable story. For the sake of readability, paragraph and line spacing would prove advantageous. It is understood that Jamie wrote the letter. Jamie doesn't have to read the letter. Help the reader to enjoy the child's viewpoint.
reply by the author on 07-May-2021
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Such an enjoyable story. For the sake of readability, paragraph and line spacing would prove advantageous. It is understood that Jamie wrote the letter. Jamie doesn't have to read the letter. Help the reader to enjoy the child's viewpoint.
Comment Written 06-May-2021
reply by the author on 07-May-2021
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Thanks for a great reveiw & useful suggestions zanya
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We learn from each other. Before I started editing my stories I got a headache just looking at them. I realized why people didn't want to read them. It looked like a ball of string that got caught by a litter of kittens
Comment from Patty Palmer
A little girl telling her grandpa everything that's going on in her world as seen through the eye of a child. I like how she described how she feels about not being able to go to school and missing her friend. Good luck with the contest ~
Patty
reply by the author on 07-May-2021
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A little girl telling her grandpa everything that's going on in her world as seen through the eye of a child. I like how she described how she feels about not being able to go to school and missing her friend. Good luck with the contest ~
Patty
Comment Written 05-May-2021
reply by the author on 07-May-2021
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Great review zanya
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is excellently written, and holds the reader's interest. It is very difficult to imagine how children perceive Covid-19. I believe there are some good elements in here, but I would have thought the classical consideration of war was beyond the child.
reply by the author on 07-May-2021
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This is excellently written, and holds the reader's interest. It is very difficult to imagine how children perceive Covid-19. I believe there are some good elements in here, but I would have thought the classical consideration of war was beyond the child.
Comment Written 05-May-2021
reply by the author on 07-May-2021
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Thanks for a great reveiw zanya
Comment from DentedSyke
This story certainly highlights the major issue of our times, and you wrote it well. It was heartbreaking to know that daddy may have covid; the insidious virus costs more than sickness or lives, as you showed so well. The only line I didn't like was about mamma thinking 2 + 2 = 5 at times, but this may be because she wasn't paying attention because of the worries about her husband. All in all, a letter that a kid might write. Good job!
reply by the author on 07-May-2021
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This story certainly highlights the major issue of our times, and you wrote it well. It was heartbreaking to know that daddy may have covid; the insidious virus costs more than sickness or lives, as you showed so well. The only line I didn't like was about mamma thinking 2 + 2 = 5 at times, but this may be because she wasn't paying attention because of the worries about her husband. All in all, a letter that a kid might write. Good job!
Comment Written 05-May-2021
reply by the author on 07-May-2021
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Great reveiw zanya
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Keep writing!
Comment from Wendy G
Yes, this is straight from the heart of a child, showing how confusing and bewildering the present times are. Some explanations, but insufficient - and children don't fully understand. Well written. Good wishes for the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-May-2021
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Yes, this is straight from the heart of a child, showing how confusing and bewildering the present times are. Some explanations, but insufficient - and children don't fully understand. Well written. Good wishes for the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-May-2021
reply by the author on 07-May-2021
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Great reveiw zanya