Genius in Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Genius in Love, Scene 9"In Search of a Soul
32 total reviews
Comment from kmoss
More funny author notes at the beginning and I followed. Sorry I'm just now catching up on this book. It is the best thing on Fanstory. I have to make the time to read it though. I've been writing, writing, writing and not posting much on FS any more.
You perfectly portrayed how such a boy would behave in this situation, even with a girl he likes, his ailments hold him back.
Wonderful scene.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
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More funny author notes at the beginning and I followed. Sorry I'm just now catching up on this book. It is the best thing on Fanstory. I have to make the time to read it though. I've been writing, writing, writing and not posting much on FS any more.
You perfectly portrayed how such a boy would behave in this situation, even with a girl he likes, his ailments hold him back.
Wonderful scene.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
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Keep up with your own writing, Krystal. If you've got $5 bucks get a one-month membership on Medium.com and submit your best poem to Genius in a Bottle, the pub I started.
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Will do! Thank you!
Comment from maggieadams
I can picture the scene via your stage directions...it was indeed right out of the fifties. I appreciated the advice to read the author's notes first because it let me get right into your brilliant, yet simple, scene...looking at her shoes, the silence, the sharing of the sandwich. Sadly, the disabled kids from my small hometown were all sent away to an institutional school. We all would have benefitted from their presence in our lives...we knew their siblings and their parents, but no one ever talked about why they were sent away. Even as a young child, I felt confused and sad for them. You have captured many emotions in this short scene...bravo. FYI, I would have been at the tetherball court!
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
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I can picture the scene via your stage directions...it was indeed right out of the fifties. I appreciated the advice to read the author's notes first because it let me get right into your brilliant, yet simple, scene...looking at her shoes, the silence, the sharing of the sandwich. Sadly, the disabled kids from my small hometown were all sent away to an institutional school. We all would have benefitted from their presence in our lives...we knew their siblings and their parents, but no one ever talked about why they were sent away. Even as a young child, I felt confused and sad for them. You have captured many emotions in this short scene...bravo. FYI, I would have been at the tetherball court!
Comment Written 06-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
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Maggie, thank you so much for your insightful comments and who can deny I'm thrilled to receive 6 bright shinys for my efforts. This was definitely written for the reader, not the stage director. I kinda liked tetherball, too.
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I was a tetherball monster...kind of sad that those play structures we kids have are now out because heavens forbid, there might be a winner and a loser.
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Oh, yes, I know what you mean about the death of competition.
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Exactly.
Comment from Dilettante junior
Dear Jay,
Sorry a lil late with this Scene 9 but I am back as promised.
I found myself face to face with the mysterious and innocent complexity of 'playground society'-a beautiful montage of frames where children are in charge, where they determine right from wrong, hero from villain, friend from enemy and who gets to play on their terms. You have brilliantly portrayed this secret, ambiguous quality of being little throughout.
Here, Cornie, who usually struggles to interpret social cues, finds himself in the middle of a foreign (out of mind) yet endearing friendship. You displayed effectively how emotions are hard to gauge for him and how the prospect of love, though tempting, seems out of reach at the moment. I commend your intro of Jenny here to facilitate his transition with her maturity, empathy and compassion. Lol Jenny refreshes my shy childhood habits.
Cornie is portrayed with his signature routine and obsession. Jenny cautiously treads a path where she not only enters Cornie's realm but also helps him ease into this initially uncomfortable yet familiar feeling of love and companionship. He surrenders by giving into Cililla's whisper, muttering 'it's okay' with difficulty, trading sandwiches with Jenny while asking her to call him Cornie. Heartfelt milestones!
Hershey's Kisses on my table remained untouched throughout the read which is a first for me!
Chapeau my dear!
DJ
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2021
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Dear Jay,
Sorry a lil late with this Scene 9 but I am back as promised.
I found myself face to face with the mysterious and innocent complexity of 'playground society'-a beautiful montage of frames where children are in charge, where they determine right from wrong, hero from villain, friend from enemy and who gets to play on their terms. You have brilliantly portrayed this secret, ambiguous quality of being little throughout.
Here, Cornie, who usually struggles to interpret social cues, finds himself in the middle of a foreign (out of mind) yet endearing friendship. You displayed effectively how emotions are hard to gauge for him and how the prospect of love, though tempting, seems out of reach at the moment. I commend your intro of Jenny here to facilitate his transition with her maturity, empathy and compassion. Lol Jenny refreshes my shy childhood habits.
Cornie is portrayed with his signature routine and obsession. Jenny cautiously treads a path where she not only enters Cornie's realm but also helps him ease into this initially uncomfortable yet familiar feeling of love and companionship. He surrenders by giving into Cililla's whisper, muttering 'it's okay' with difficulty, trading sandwiches with Jenny while asking her to call him Cornie. Heartfelt milestones!
Hershey's Kisses on my table remained untouched throughout the read which is a first for me!
Chapeau my dear!
DJ
Comment Written 29-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2021
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Awwww, DJ, you've confirmed once again why you are so deserving of my reviewer referral, waiting for the calendar to advance two more days. You not only read with such discernment but you tap into what I could only lay out as intimation and hope the reader would discover a richness in characterization. Thanks for sharing your brilliance and empathy and for honoring me with the chartreuse cross!
Comment from Bill Schott
This is a big development for both of these characters. It looks like this could be a stopping point for an abbreviated story, though the moving forward of the boy is a opportunity to expand in every direction.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2021
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This is a big development for both of these characters. It looks like this could be a stopping point for an abbreviated story, though the moving forward of the boy is a opportunity to expand in every direction.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2021
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Expect such forward movement, Bill, starting with the next two scenes. The next scene will concern Cornelius's mother and father's talk about the ensuing visit by the Jax's (and Jennie), but it focuses more on Taloache's and Howard's broken relationship. Scene 11 will be the actual visit by both families, with Cornelius, Jennie (and Cililla) off to the side.
I think I told you my feelings on the thank you for the 6 stars. I do appreciate your input more than you can imagine.
Comment from tfawcus
Another finely nuanced scene, Jay. The swapping of sandwiches, such a natural and easy transaction between most children, is almost insurmountable. When it does occur, it represents a small step towards normality. The final sentence, giving Jennie permission to use his pet name, is a huge leap of trust by Cornelius.
Considering the milieu of the 1950s, Jennie is exposing herself to potential ridicule from her peers by acting this way. I feel sure her parents will try to talk her out of it.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2021
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Another finely nuanced scene, Jay. The swapping of sandwiches, such a natural and easy transaction between most children, is almost insurmountable. When it does occur, it represents a small step towards normality. The final sentence, giving Jennie permission to use his pet name, is a huge leap of trust by Cornelius.
Considering the milieu of the 1950s, Jennie is exposing herself to potential ridicule from her peers by acting this way. I feel sure her parents will try to talk her out of it.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2021
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Thank you so much, Tony. Your kind words mean a lot to me, especially since this play has gone hot and cold among the readers. They've been generous in their words, but the scenes I think are the best tend to get the least reviews. But yours has the quality and sincerity I so need. Thanks, friend.
Comment from judiverse
I like the sweetness of Cornelius compared to some of the front of bravado some boys put on. The bit with the sandwich sharing works well and shows that Cornelius is inching a bit forward in his feelings for Jennie. She is great for Cornelius, as she's also on the shy side. Great dialogue. Good that the bullying boy won't be back. judi
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2021
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I like the sweetness of Cornelius compared to some of the front of bravado some boys put on. The bit with the sandwich sharing works well and shows that Cornelius is inching a bit forward in his feelings for Jennie. She is great for Cornelius, as she's also on the shy side. Great dialogue. Good that the bullying boy won't be back. judi
Comment Written 22-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2021
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Thank you, Judi. Now I can put my scene to bed, thanks to the queen of plays. Oops, I almost called you the queen of drama, but that has a negative connotation I don't want to leave you with. I do learn an awful lot from reading your plays.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Good story and good stage directions. You make
CorneIius a sweet character very much like a child on the spectrum. I grew up as a cripple in the fifties and my teacher for 3 years in country school was determined to have me institutionalized, and I wasn't even on the spectrum. Bullying was worse then, but kids today aren't living in a bed or roses either, even before the pandemic.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2021
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Good story and good stage directions. You make
CorneIius a sweet character very much like a child on the spectrum. I grew up as a cripple in the fifties and my teacher for 3 years in country school was determined to have me institutionalized, and I wasn't even on the spectrum. Bullying was worse then, but kids today aren't living in a bed or roses either, even before the pandemic.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2021
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Hi Carol. I'm glad you've found merit in my play by balancing it against the scale of your own personal experience with bullying. I hope all readers realize this took place in the 50s when there was no knowledge of "spectrum" and little distinction between autism and craziness. Thank you so much for reading.
Comment from RGstar
Excellent. I like to see the depth in a script, not just dialogue for dialogue's sake.
The mannerisms, the emotion, its all here.
It is easy to be immersed in such a script because the narrative brings one so close, in mind, to a full scripted book, such is the dedication to detail.
Well done.
My best wishes.
Have a great week.
RG
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2021
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Excellent. I like to see the depth in a script, not just dialogue for dialogue's sake.
The mannerisms, the emotion, its all here.
It is easy to be immersed in such a script because the narrative brings one so close, in mind, to a full scripted book, such is the dedication to detail.
Well done.
My best wishes.
Have a great week.
RG
Comment Written 22-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2021
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Awwww, RG, you've done it again. You've made my evening with your kindness and your sincerity, all filtered through the beauty of a chartreuse cross. Thank you, dear friend!
Comment from Alaskastory
"Genius in Love, Scene 9" has really good dialogue by Jenny a slow but thoughtful response from Cornelius. It cleverly relieves both, showing especially with sandwich sharing, from the bully boy. A most enjoyable scene.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2021
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"Genius in Love, Scene 9" has really good dialogue by Jenny a slow but thoughtful response from Cornelius. It cleverly relieves both, showing especially with sandwich sharing, from the bully boy. A most enjoyable scene.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2021
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Hey, Alaska ... thank you so much for sampling a scene in my play. I hope this will be just the beginning for you. I've got a dandy coming up Saturday night.
Comment from amahra
This was a really nice scene, Jay showing the delicate emotions of these two young characters. I find puppy-love so cute and you show it here so brilliantly. I loved the scene where Cililla is dancing in the background which only Cornelius can witness. Great chapter, Jay!
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2021
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This was a really nice scene, Jay showing the delicate emotions of these two young characters. I find puppy-love so cute and you show it here so brilliantly. I loved the scene where Cililla is dancing in the background which only Cornelius can witness. Great chapter, Jay!
Comment Written 22-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2021
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Thank you for recalling Cililla's dance. She felt it marked a breakthrough in Cornelius and what better way to express it than to dance. Oh, I'm so happy to have you aboard for this play. Some good stuff coming.