Genius in Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Genius in Love, Scene 11"In Search of a Soul
29 total reviews
Comment from GregoryCody
Wow this is INCREDIBLE.
I'm general I have to say, your flow and gift or storytelling is so fluid.
The dialogue is Believable, if that makes sense. Not forced.
Your descriptions to set the scene are PERFECTLY DONE.
Like
Now the thigh with his hand under it, starts to bob)
I enjoyed this and WOW how did it pull me in so quickly. I mean it's pretty far along right? THAT is a good sign.
Exceptional job and I'm so happy to have been recommended to you. I will gladly become a fan :)
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021
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Wow this is INCREDIBLE.
I'm general I have to say, your flow and gift or storytelling is so fluid.
The dialogue is Believable, if that makes sense. Not forced.
Your descriptions to set the scene are PERFECTLY DONE.
Like
Now the thigh with his hand under it, starts to bob)
I enjoyed this and WOW how did it pull me in so quickly. I mean it's pretty far along right? THAT is a good sign.
Exceptional job and I'm so happy to have been recommended to you. I will gladly become a fan :)
Comment Written 31-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021
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Bless you, Gregory for your kind words and my goodness, your six stars. I'm touched! You can probably get up to speed by reading the summaries of the previous scenes at the top of each. I'm looking forward to seeing you back. I'll have a new scene dropping tonight, so it will have more meaning if you read the summary of scene 12..
Again, I feel so blessed!
Comment from Begin Again
What a powerful and emotional draw on the reader... or at least this one. It took me back to the time when at 4 years old, a very very patient teacher/psycologist worked with my son and finally got him to say his first words. Others had given up on him and said he would always talk gibberish... He will be 53 in a few days and though he is not perfect (but then who is) it's wonderful. I got chills even though it wasn't the same in your story... the emotions were for me. Bravo!
Smiles to you, Jay!! Always, Carol
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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What a powerful and emotional draw on the reader... or at least this one. It took me back to the time when at 4 years old, a very very patient teacher/psycologist worked with my son and finally got him to say his first words. Others had given up on him and said he would always talk gibberish... He will be 53 in a few days and though he is not perfect (but then who is) it's wonderful. I got chills even though it wasn't the same in your story... the emotions were for me. Bravo!
Smiles to you, Jay!! Always, Carol
Comment Written 14-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Awww, Carol, so sweet. Odd, it seems to me, how so many diverse people are resonating with this play for different reasons. This was a scene of focus, concentration and determination, whether autistic or owing to problems in the speech centers of the brain.
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They told me my son would die at an early age, but he didn't... I never gave up hope and I think that is what I felt with you story...every little tiny effort is a huge success. Smiles to you! As always, Carol
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Bless you, and thank you so much for the six stars if I failed to mention it earlier.
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Much deserved!
Comment from pome lover
My goodness, the time you spent on that scene - the patience shown by Cililla and by you. Your imagination is fascinating, as is the story.
I wonder what made you think of this storyline? It is really good.
Katharine - pome lover
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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My goodness, the time you spent on that scene - the patience shown by Cililla and by you. Your imagination is fascinating, as is the story.
I wonder what made you think of this storyline? It is really good.
Katharine - pome lover
Comment Written 14-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Hi, Katharine. I was simply intrigued by the thought of expressing the inexpressible. It would have been impossible in play format without a symbol of Cornelius's developing self-awareness, and that was where Cililla came in. I'm glad you are enjoying it. I do hope you continue on with it.
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absolutamente (accent over the last "e" ;)
Comment from Acer Connall
I love the fact that you put this in script form! This made it so that there was room for the audience to join in! You could take a role and play it with your script. Thank you for writing this!
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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I love the fact that you put this in script form! This made it so that there was room for the audience to join in! You could take a role and play it with your script. Thank you for writing this!
Comment Written 13-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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Well ... thank you for reading it, and for your kind words and the shiny stars. Hope to have you aboard for more of the play.
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, So far everything is going according to the rules of the world you have created. I can't say for sure I know where this is going. I assume Cornelius isn't really Autistic. I mean the title is Genius in Love, not Autistic kid in love. Also, if he is actually talking to himself, and giving himself psychiatric therapy. (the advanced portion of his mind, repairing the damage portion) Then by the end he will simply be the world's greatest genius.
Then we will find out what this really is. It is not romance. I think it is self-improvement.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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Hmm, So far everything is going according to the rules of the world you have created. I can't say for sure I know where this is going. I assume Cornelius isn't really Autistic. I mean the title is Genius in Love, not Autistic kid in love. Also, if he is actually talking to himself, and giving himself psychiatric therapy. (the advanced portion of his mind, repairing the damage portion) Then by the end he will simply be the world's greatest genius.
Then we will find out what this really is. It is not romance. I think it is self-improvement.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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Thank you for your input, Lance. Yes, that's twice you mentioned the Romance classification. I'm out of my depths with the realities of Autism, that's for sure. I'm simplifying a very complex and tragic situation by putting him in a reality that requires a forced relationship. And then I see what happens. So far, some of the readers who work with or are related to autistic people are resonating with it.
Oh, and Lance, don't feel you need to give me a six if you think it is not up to that standard. I do a lot of that too, and at the end of the day, I don't feel too good about myself.
Comment from JennStar
I really enjoyed reading your work... It had my mind wondering back to that old question of how much should we encourage people to fit into society when really society should accept people and all their differences. Fitting into society makes life easier for people who can but really we should be training society to be more open and accepting of others and differences. Your story line feels very honest and true.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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I really enjoyed reading your work... It had my mind wondering back to that old question of how much should we encourage people to fit into society when really society should accept people and all their differences. Fitting into society makes life easier for people who can but really we should be training society to be more open and accepting of others and differences. Your story line feels very honest and true.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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Thank you, Jenn. And I couldn't agree more with your diagnosis of the real problem, but that is fraught with complexities, isn't it?
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Yes it really does. My brain functions just differently enough to cause problems. I really relate to this topic. Looking forward to reading more of your work.
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Jay,
I wasn't certain if Cornie knew about Jennie coming over with her parents. But apparently, he does. His mother must have told him at some point and I missed it (or forgot). He was playing the piano to relax, but now his premonitions have set in. He's very nervous about the visit, so he calls on Cililla for help. We should all have a Cililla to call upon. I remember times in high school when I had to give a speech... ugh! Talk about tremors. I'd tremble in fear... literally.
You've done a remarkable job in this scene, using Cililla to help Cornie deal with the Jax's visit. We have to remind ourselves that she is just a figment of Cornie's imagination... because she's a virtual psychiatrist. And a good one at that. I recall Richard Dreyfuss playing famous psychiatrist, Dr. Leo Marvin, author of the book "Baby Steps", which is exactly the technique Cililla is using with Cornelius. You have to reason with autistic people... slowly, so as not to upset the apple cart. It's truly a balancing act. From the 1991 movie, "What About Bob?", directed by Frank Oz... here's a clip,
https://youtu.be/lqTy3Bc8m_s
The thing that struck me as I read along, Cililla is not only a psychiatrist but also an encourager. She calls him "Sweetie" and "Sweetie-pie", and makes him feel special,
"CILILLA (Continues):
You can close your eyes now, Sweetie. You make me soooo proud."
I liked the ending with the maid. She noticed an improvement in Cornie's demeanor, perhaps a confidence that wasn't there before.
My favorite part of the scene was this address given by Cililla,
"CILILLA:
I know, sweetie, I know. But if it ever gets too hard for you, just know that I'm here. You can get your strength from ... um ... from me. I won't be able to ... to step in and help you. It'll be like when the bullies were poking at you on the basketball court? Do you remember what I told you afterward? Sweetie, do you remember? I told you with Pidely-Poo gone I can't whisk you off the way he could. I'm here to help you face bad things in life all by yourself. I can't ... help you directly, though. I will be here, just not like Pidely-Poo ... but I will be here."
She is trying to make Cornie understand the difference between Pidely-Poo and her. Pidely-Poo would make a way for Cornie to ESCAPE. But Cililla wants him to face his fears, like being able to look her in the eye. Not a big thing for most people, but a huge barrier for Cornelius. No more running away! Baby steps! Facing problems. Bob Wiley (played by Bill Murray) had the worst time even trying to leave his house! It was a fierce struggle every time... the noise of life made him retreat. Cililla wants Cornelius to face his issues. No more retreating. Pidely-Poo is... gone!
Spotlights play a huge role in your play. The operator has to be spot on! The conversation between Cililla and Cornie is so important in this scene as well. How will the audience know that Cornie is looking at her ear or her eyebrow without good dialogue.
This is the first time Cililla really steps into her new role, and she smiles with success.
Nicely penned! Keep up the good work... looking forward to the next one. Jennie will be arriving with her parents. And I hope all goes well. Perhaps Cornelius will play the piano for them? A masterpiece.
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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Hi Jay,
I wasn't certain if Cornie knew about Jennie coming over with her parents. But apparently, he does. His mother must have told him at some point and I missed it (or forgot). He was playing the piano to relax, but now his premonitions have set in. He's very nervous about the visit, so he calls on Cililla for help. We should all have a Cililla to call upon. I remember times in high school when I had to give a speech... ugh! Talk about tremors. I'd tremble in fear... literally.
You've done a remarkable job in this scene, using Cililla to help Cornie deal with the Jax's visit. We have to remind ourselves that she is just a figment of Cornie's imagination... because she's a virtual psychiatrist. And a good one at that. I recall Richard Dreyfuss playing famous psychiatrist, Dr. Leo Marvin, author of the book "Baby Steps", which is exactly the technique Cililla is using with Cornelius. You have to reason with autistic people... slowly, so as not to upset the apple cart. It's truly a balancing act. From the 1991 movie, "What About Bob?", directed by Frank Oz... here's a clip,
https://youtu.be/lqTy3Bc8m_s
The thing that struck me as I read along, Cililla is not only a psychiatrist but also an encourager. She calls him "Sweetie" and "Sweetie-pie", and makes him feel special,
"CILILLA (Continues):
You can close your eyes now, Sweetie. You make me soooo proud."
I liked the ending with the maid. She noticed an improvement in Cornie's demeanor, perhaps a confidence that wasn't there before.
My favorite part of the scene was this address given by Cililla,
"CILILLA:
I know, sweetie, I know. But if it ever gets too hard for you, just know that I'm here. You can get your strength from ... um ... from me. I won't be able to ... to step in and help you. It'll be like when the bullies were poking at you on the basketball court? Do you remember what I told you afterward? Sweetie, do you remember? I told you with Pidely-Poo gone I can't whisk you off the way he could. I'm here to help you face bad things in life all by yourself. I can't ... help you directly, though. I will be here, just not like Pidely-Poo ... but I will be here."
She is trying to make Cornie understand the difference between Pidely-Poo and her. Pidely-Poo would make a way for Cornie to ESCAPE. But Cililla wants him to face his fears, like being able to look her in the eye. Not a big thing for most people, but a huge barrier for Cornelius. No more running away! Baby steps! Facing problems. Bob Wiley (played by Bill Murray) had the worst time even trying to leave his house! It was a fierce struggle every time... the noise of life made him retreat. Cililla wants Cornelius to face his issues. No more retreating. Pidely-Poo is... gone!
Spotlights play a huge role in your play. The operator has to be spot on! The conversation between Cililla and Cornie is so important in this scene as well. How will the audience know that Cornie is looking at her ear or her eyebrow without good dialogue.
This is the first time Cililla really steps into her new role, and she smiles with success.
Nicely penned! Keep up the good work... looking forward to the next one. Jennie will be arriving with her parents. And I hope all goes well. Perhaps Cornelius will play the piano for them? A masterpiece.
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 13-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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In your usual manner, Kimbob you've managed to show me what I only subliminally knew myself. I was, without really thinking about it, patterning Cililla's technique from early behaviorist psychology, but also something called EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) by Gary Craig. But all that came out only after reading your review. I looked at that little scene. Dreyfuss is so good. Murray is ... Murray. I can't thank you enough for your time and kind energies ... topped by a shiney 6 star.
Comment from lyenochka
Well, everyone should have a Cillila in their life. She seems to be a life coach and one who will help Cornie adapt to the dealing with people even his cold, uncaring father. I like her strategy to teach him to make eye contact and to think it's the other people with the problem.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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Well, everyone should have a Cillila in their life. She seems to be a life coach and one who will help Cornie adapt to the dealing with people even his cold, uncaring father. I like her strategy to teach him to make eye contact and to think it's the other people with the problem.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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I'm glad you enjoyed this, Helen. I'm not entirely happy with it. I had to abbreviate the process too much. And as one alert reviewer pointed out, there was a little too much "telling" instead of acting. I couldn't go tell him to pee on a tree, because he was spot on. LOL, sorry bout that.
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In real life, it would take Cornie years to feel comfortable enough to make eye contact. I think for a play, it's fine.
Comment from Alaskastory
"Genius in Love, Scene 11" is a thorough and seemly endless "education on his eyes" with so much by Cornelius. The task seemed to go on and on in interesting ways. This scene draws a strong picture.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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"Genius in Love, Scene 11" is a thorough and seemly endless "education on his eyes" with so much by Cornelius. The task seemed to go on and on in interesting ways. This scene draws a strong picture.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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Thank you, so much, Alaska! I'm happy you enjoyed it. There will be more of the give-n-take Drama in the next scene, promise.
Comment from RGstar
Brilliant. A couple of points I will get to, but brilliant. The staging explained, the overall aura is the difference... a concerto instead of a direct spotlight on two, hanging only on the main thread. The reader is instantly thrust within the scene, without having to wait and knock, or tiptoe in. The scene between the two is remarkably real...two teens in conversation, the balance spot on, the way two teens would, and do, speak to each other. Well balanced. Bravo.
Two small things Jay...
I thought the therapeutic endeavour between the too, Cillila readying Cornelius for his encounter, brilliant though was, I might have made the process a little shorter. It seemed it took the whole of this chapter just to get him ready...until the maid entered. We have to remember, rather like a film, have to use hours within minutes, so I might have just shortened the scene between the two on the subject matter, bringing in the maid a little earlier, even going over to the beginning of the next scene, whatever that would be, before cutting. I felt the brilliance of the dialogue and balance, concerning the mental process, could have been better savored if not too long...taking nothing away from its brilliance.
The other thing Jay...
''CORNELIUS:
(Looking right and left, blinking rapidly. His right index finger is making a miniature infinity sign)
Yes. Yes, nerv-vous.''
I would join the second sentence as a run on, as they seem too separate thoughts, considering the parentheses and the brackets. I might take away (is)...running the sentence on.
Example..''(Looking right and left, blinking rapidly, his right index finger making a miniature infinity sign) or 'making miniture infinity signs'
Yes. Yes, nerv-vous.''
I hope you see what I mean my friend. That one jumped out at me at the beginning.
With all that said, the scenes are as natural as daylight. Exceptional balance.
Great job...deserves every accolade.
My best Jay.
RG
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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Brilliant. A couple of points I will get to, but brilliant. The staging explained, the overall aura is the difference... a concerto instead of a direct spotlight on two, hanging only on the main thread. The reader is instantly thrust within the scene, without having to wait and knock, or tiptoe in. The scene between the two is remarkably real...two teens in conversation, the balance spot on, the way two teens would, and do, speak to each other. Well balanced. Bravo.
Two small things Jay...
I thought the therapeutic endeavour between the too, Cillila readying Cornelius for his encounter, brilliant though was, I might have made the process a little shorter. It seemed it took the whole of this chapter just to get him ready...until the maid entered. We have to remember, rather like a film, have to use hours within minutes, so I might have just shortened the scene between the two on the subject matter, bringing in the maid a little earlier, even going over to the beginning of the next scene, whatever that would be, before cutting. I felt the brilliance of the dialogue and balance, concerning the mental process, could have been better savored if not too long...taking nothing away from its brilliance.
The other thing Jay...
''CORNELIUS:
(Looking right and left, blinking rapidly. His right index finger is making a miniature infinity sign)
Yes. Yes, nerv-vous.''
I would join the second sentence as a run on, as they seem too separate thoughts, considering the parentheses and the brackets. I might take away (is)...running the sentence on.
Example..''(Looking right and left, blinking rapidly, his right index finger making a miniature infinity sign) or 'making miniture infinity signs'
Yes. Yes, nerv-vous.''
I hope you see what I mean my friend. That one jumped out at me at the beginning.
With all that said, the scenes are as natural as daylight. Exceptional balance.
Great job...deserves every accolade.
My best Jay.
RG
Comment Written 12-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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All right! Thanks for that suggestion on bringing those two staging sentences into one. I like that! It does add to the fluidity.
As far as your former point about the length of Cililla's preliminary instruction before the exercise, I was running into a problem of authenticity. As it were, I had to foreshorten the length of time it would actually take for even a genius to absorb and change his behavior. It just didn't have the right feel to it. That scene went very long without any real narrative drama. That's not exactly what I mean: I mean the drama that comes from a clash of opposing forces. Acch! I'll have to leave it at that, friend. It was an important scene and, I fear, wasn't my best effort. I'm going in now and changing that one part. Blessings RG.