Secrets in the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Secrets in the Wind - Chap 5"A story of loss, deceit, murder and crime
18 total reviews
Comment from Leann DS
Hello, friend. I'm so glad that I started out with your novel. Brilliant! This is so good. I have so many chapters to read, this could take a very long time. Been busy. Opened an ice cream store. Barely any time to write, and even less to read. But this is brilliant! Hugs.
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2021
  |
Hello, friend. I'm so glad that I started out with your novel. Brilliant! This is so good. I have so many chapters to read, this could take a very long time. Been busy. Opened an ice cream store. Barely any time to write, and even less to read. But this is brilliant! Hugs.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2021
-
Oh, I am so so so happy to hear from you again. I was worried about where you had disappeared to. An ice cream store...Oh, that would be very bad for me. When I had the catering business, I had to fight to stay away from the soft-serve machine. I hope you get the time to read the story, because I think it is one of my best... I am almost at the end, and I value your opinion. Glad you stopped to say hello and left me with the shiny stars as well. Smiles and hugs, Carol
-
I managed to get up to and finish chapter 9. Now I must go. Ice cream awaits. Talk soon. Hugs.
-
Ohhhh! Save some for me!
Love ya...and so glad you are back! Hugs, Carol
Comment from karenina
Ah. I've missed this! I can't wait anymore! Maybe read and review two chapters a day? One thing arrive late -- previous reviewers have given you great feedback! A great chapter to jump back in. You write courtroom drama like you went to Harvard Law School!
The fix was in, Cassidy as goose was cooked... Why do I feel you've got bigger plans for her?! I ALWAYS appreciate your stunning attention to detail: "Sophia's fingernail sliced at the string like a dull knife."
I could see it! I know you've got lots of tricks up your sleeve! So good!
Karenina
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2021
 |
Ah. I've missed this! I can't wait anymore! Maybe read and review two chapters a day? One thing arrive late -- previous reviewers have given you great feedback! A great chapter to jump back in. You write courtroom drama like you went to Harvard Law School!
The fix was in, Cassidy as goose was cooked... Why do I feel you've got bigger plans for her?! I ALWAYS appreciate your stunning attention to detail: "Sophia's fingernail sliced at the string like a dull knife."
I could see it! I know you've got lots of tricks up your sleeve! So good!
Karenina
Comment Written 28-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2021
-
Oh what a happy surprise this morning! I am thrilled to see my sweet Karenina getting a chance to read a few chapters. Don't over do!
I'd forgotten you had started reading... So as to prevent too much confusion make sure you remember the very first chapter. It plays throughout the entire story. Just a heads up to make it easier for you to understand because I do have major twists and turns.
I am almost giddy to see your face staring back at me this morning. Hope you are feeling okay and this means things are progressing. I am praying for you by sweet.
thanks for reading and enjoying the story.
Smiles, Carol
-
I did go back to the very beginning for a handy dandy refresher course on what I'd read some time ago! I just couldn't stand not digging into a few more chapters! It's another winner, for sure!
Karenina
-
You must be my guardian angel. It's been a rough day with my "friend" and my writing muse gave up. then you come along and I'm raring to go again. I love you! Hope you are feeling okay.
-
I'm hanging in there. Can not WAIT for a call saying my surgery has been miraculously moved up from its 11/11 scheduled dats.... (ugh!)---
Sorry you had a rough day. Hugs!
Have a much better one tomorrow!
Promise?!
Karenina
-
November 11th...Ugh! That's horrible! So very very long... Are you still in lots of pain? I worry so much about you.
-
I need you in boxing shape...LOL
-
Me to! Lash those gloves on me and point me toward the center of the ring!
(grin)
Karenina
-
Not on the mind bending meds anymore... (Could NOT take the brain fog!)-- Trying alternative ways to ease the path. Nothing illegal though. (chuckle)
I know--It was suppose to be sooner, but covid admissions have spiked and everything went toppling like dominoes. I'm up first on the "cancellation" list though so that's why I'm hoping I'll get a "COME ON DOWN!" call sooner!
Don't worry. I'm tougher than I look...
Karenina
-
I just worry! Smiles!
Besides, I know you will be okay, because I haven't finished writing, and you sure as hell haven't finished reading this book, and then it's got to be polished and published. How am I supposed to do that without you. It ain't happening, girlfriend. Smiles and more smiles
Comment from robyn corum
Carol,
Of course. Performed and managed like any Broadway show. Nicely done. But what's the real deal? Hmmm...
1.) Or maybe a generous thank you gift for praying for his wife?
--> delete the 'or'
2.) Several others hung their head(s) in prayer.
And on--
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
|
Carol,
Of course. Performed and managed like any Broadway show. Nicely done. But what's the real deal? Hmmm...
1.) Or maybe a generous thank you gift for praying for his wife?
--> delete the 'or'
2.) Several others hung their head(s) in prayer.
And on--
Comment Written 29-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
-
I too am far far behind on writing, reviewing, reading and simply having time to hello to my friends. You read fast and I'll say thank you. You know I love you and appreciate everything you do.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Unimaginable! It's so obvious, from the reader's perspective, that this case is biased against the defendant, Cassidy Rotella. So if she's wrongly convicted, that means the real murderer is getting a free pass!
Errors and suggestions:
Cassidy buried her face was in her hands.
-->
Cassidy buried her face in her hands.
Her delayed reaction in grabbing her client offered Cassidy one last desperate plea,
-->
Her delayed reaction in grabbing her client offered Cassidy one last, desperate plea,
Or maybe a generous thank you gift for praying for his wife?
-->
Maybe it was a generous thank you gift for praying for his wife?
"Order or I will have the room cleared.
-->
"Order, or I will have the room cleared.
Beating her gavel once again, she sighed and added, "this court will take a fifteen-minute break ...
-->
Beating her gavel once again, she sighed and added, "This court will take a fifteen-minute break ...
two amazon bodyguards,
-->
two hulking bodyguards, [unless the bodyguards were actually female, "amazon" normally implies a very large, muscular woman]
...we will serve free drinks to thirsty hard-working reporters and friends."
-->
...we will serve free drinks to thirsty, hard-working reporters and friends."
...to find justice for us.
-->
...to find justice for us."
The priest, Miguel, and the mysterious cowboy were missing as well.
-->
The priest, Miguel and the mysterious cowboy were missing as well. [having commas before and after "Miguel" almost makes it look as if Miguel is the priest's name (even though I know Miguel is the vineyard supervisor, and you have both characters in your list, below)]
Faith Cranston-Newton - daughter of the Cranston's
-->
Faith Cranston-Newton - daughter of the Cranstons
Mary Hunter - caretaker for Faith and Annie
-->
Mary Hunter - caregiver for Faith and Annie
[sounds better for people, not property]
***
So, who stands to gain from the murders of the vineyard owners, and who might stand to gain if Elizabeth is murdered, too? Possibly Mason Caldwell and/or Miguel; additionally, Sofia's testimony could have been gained through money and/or coercive threats... and what about the priest? What is his role? You have a very interesting tale, here, Carol.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
|
Unimaginable! It's so obvious, from the reader's perspective, that this case is biased against the defendant, Cassidy Rotella. So if she's wrongly convicted, that means the real murderer is getting a free pass!
Errors and suggestions:
Cassidy buried her face was in her hands.
-->
Cassidy buried her face in her hands.
Her delayed reaction in grabbing her client offered Cassidy one last desperate plea,
-->
Her delayed reaction in grabbing her client offered Cassidy one last, desperate plea,
Or maybe a generous thank you gift for praying for his wife?
-->
Maybe it was a generous thank you gift for praying for his wife?
"Order or I will have the room cleared.
-->
"Order, or I will have the room cleared.
Beating her gavel once again, she sighed and added, "this court will take a fifteen-minute break ...
-->
Beating her gavel once again, she sighed and added, "This court will take a fifteen-minute break ...
two amazon bodyguards,
-->
two hulking bodyguards, [unless the bodyguards were actually female, "amazon" normally implies a very large, muscular woman]
...we will serve free drinks to thirsty hard-working reporters and friends."
-->
...we will serve free drinks to thirsty, hard-working reporters and friends."
...to find justice for us.
-->
...to find justice for us."
The priest, Miguel, and the mysterious cowboy were missing as well.
-->
The priest, Miguel and the mysterious cowboy were missing as well. [having commas before and after "Miguel" almost makes it look as if Miguel is the priest's name (even though I know Miguel is the vineyard supervisor, and you have both characters in your list, below)]
Faith Cranston-Newton - daughter of the Cranston's
-->
Faith Cranston-Newton - daughter of the Cranstons
Mary Hunter - caretaker for Faith and Annie
-->
Mary Hunter - caregiver for Faith and Annie
[sounds better for people, not property]
***
So, who stands to gain from the murders of the vineyard owners, and who might stand to gain if Elizabeth is murdered, too? Possibly Mason Caldwell and/or Miguel; additionally, Sofia's testimony could have been gained through money and/or coercive threats... and what about the priest? What is his role? You have a very interesting tale, here, Carol.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
-
good morning, Mary Kay
As always I thank you for the assistance and suggestions on the story and for your kind thoughts and review. Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I have fixed and corrected.
Take care my friend and have a beautiful day!
Smiles, Carol
-
You're very welcome, Carol, as always. I hope you will have a beautiful day, also. Blessings and love, Mary Kay xoxo
Comment from Sally Law
Wow, a quicker than the historic six-minute verdict! Highly suspect indeed and the prosecutor bought and paid for. A superb chapter and much to think about with everyone involved here. A plot that's ever expanding. I'm in it. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs...
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
|
Wow, a quicker than the historic six-minute verdict! Highly suspect indeed and the prosecutor bought and paid for. A superb chapter and much to think about with everyone involved here. A plot that's ever expanding. I'm in it. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs...
Comment Written 18-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
-
Hi, Sal... Hope you are on the mend and the meds aren't kicking you around any more.
Thank you for stopping by to read this chapter and to be so generous with your review. I believe you will find the next two chapters chocked full of evidence and a bit of humor as well.
Smiles and hugs, my friend. Always, Carol
-
I'm behind due to my illness and sight. It's getting more difficult to read these days. You are flying faster than I can keep up. I'll do my best. Sal XOs...
Comment from ShirleyT1
Another well-written chapter full of fast moving action, corrupt actions and shady characters. What a great story! I'm enjoying each chapter and look forward to the next one.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
|
Another well-written chapter full of fast moving action, corrupt actions and shady characters. What a great story! I'm enjoying each chapter and look forward to the next one.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
-
Thanks Shirley.... As we get deeper into the story, you will find I am a twist and turn and twist again writer. Something new keeps popping up all the time.
Thanks again. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Wendy G
What an injustice about to happen, I am sure. Your story is certainly compelling. What reason did Sofia have for lying? Paid to cover up for some-one else. Ah, no use guessing. I am sure there will be a lot more twists and turns yet. But Alyssa is onto it ...! Excellent writing. Thank you.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2021
|
What an injustice about to happen, I am sure. Your story is certainly compelling. What reason did Sofia have for lying? Paid to cover up for some-one else. Ah, no use guessing. I am sure there will be a lot more twists and turns yet. But Alyssa is onto it ...! Excellent writing. Thank you.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2021
-
Good question.... Why would she lie? She may have a secret she is hiding or maybe someone else does that she's afraid of... guess we wait and see. LOL Slowly but surely like the turtle...we shall untangle these webs we weave. Hugs and smiles, Carol
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Briilliant bit with Sofia nervously fingering the frayed shawl and goosebumps peppering--perfect example of show-vs-tell!
Mary Hunter listed twice in note
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2021
|
Briilliant bit with Sofia nervously fingering the frayed shawl and goosebumps peppering--perfect example of show-vs-tell!
Mary Hunter listed twice in note
Comment Written 16-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2021
-
Thanks for stopping by to read my story and leave a review. i always appreciate your input and hope that you find enjoyment (though I don't give as much to laugh at as you do).
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from Judy Lawless
Ok, so I'm on the edge of my seat, Carol! I expected the verdict, but I don't think it's right. That poor woman has obviously been set up with little evidence. Can't wait to find out what else is going on. Great read.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2021
|
Ok, so I'm on the edge of my seat, Carol! I expected the verdict, but I don't think it's right. That poor woman has obviously been set up with little evidence. Can't wait to find out what else is going on. Great read.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2021
-
Yes, and the complications behind the setup will amaze you...I hope!
Thanks for continuing to read...I hope it holds your attention as On the Edge did. I worry!
Smiles, Carol
-
Don?t worry, I?m sure it will. Just don?t think it hasn?t if I don?t have time to review right away. Hugs.
Comment from Carol Clark2
Another great write! I'm wondering why Alyssa is present in the courtroom, as she doesn't seem to have a role. Please check Sofia's last name in paragraph 2. Lots of interesting happenings here. I see you've already posted another segment, so I'm ready to read it.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2021
|
Another great write! I'm wondering why Alyssa is present in the courtroom, as she doesn't seem to have a role. Please check Sofia's last name in paragraph 2. Lots of interesting happenings here. I see you've already posted another segment, so I'm ready to read it.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2021
-
Hi Carol... Alyssa is an Investigative Reporter... She's always on the hunt for news ... that's why she was there. thanks for catching that name...after I added Miguel to the story... I needed her name and his to be the same...guess I missed it. Thanks for the help and the review...Carol
-
Ah, thanks. I forgot she was a reporter. (That's why I like that list of characters. LOL)