Secrets in the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Secrets in the Wind - Chap 7"A story of loss, deceit, murder and crime
18 total reviews
Comment from karenina
Ouch! My brain is hurting as I try to decipher the many clues you've laid out for us! Circled numbers, an 1848 map, shipments going to three specific states....photos! What is up with Faith? Elizabeth is rattled! So many pieces of a puzzle and I'm scrambling to fit them together! See what you do? You are addictive! I'll be mulling all of this as I lay my head down....
Karenina
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2021
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Ouch! My brain is hurting as I try to decipher the many clues you've laid out for us! Circled numbers, an 1848 map, shipments going to three specific states....photos! What is up with Faith? Elizabeth is rattled! So many pieces of a puzzle and I'm scrambling to fit them together! See what you do? You are addictive! I'll be mulling all of this as I lay my head down....
Karenina
Comment Written 28-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2021
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No hurting! I will have to build a wall of padding around the story so you bounce while you read or scream at me! And screaming will come! Thanks for reading. I really missed you. My first stop every morning is your bookmark just so I can read your hello.
Take care. Smiles and hugs! Carol
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I do this with every "mystery" I read...
Stop and strew the puzzle pieces in my brain and try to make sense of it all! It's half the fun! I'll be reading more, likely on Monday... Jess will be over then. What a treat to get back into your story!--Karenina
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THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Woops, I guess I missed the promotion on this one -- maybe it expired at midnight. That's okay, you've got more chapters and you seem to keep churning them out! I wanted to do more reviewing, but life has been busier than usual, and I feel as if I'm moving more slowly.
Some suggested revisions:
Her subconscious thoughts filled with planes crashing, a man thrashing in the water and clawing at the slippery bank.
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Her subconscious thoughts were filled with planes crashing, and a man thrashing in the water and clawing at the slippery bank.
"Elizabeth." A male voice called her name. "Elizabeth."
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"Elizabeth!" A male voice called her name. "Elizabeth!"
"Liz." Alyssa burst through the open door, screaming, "Liz."
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"Liz." Alyssa burst through the open door, screaming, "Liz!"
I thought I was going to tackle him head-on."
-->
I thought I was going to tackle him head-on!"
She lived in a Cinderella World and moving to Napa Valley, and the estate was an enormous change for her.
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She lived in a Cinderella world, and moving to Napa Valley and the estate was an enormous change for her.
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I had suggested some revisions on the character list, but I guess you'll make them if you agree; I don't want to keep repeating them in every chapter... totally up to you. I like your description of Jon Saladino, "Priest and much more," well said!
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
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Woops, I guess I missed the promotion on this one -- maybe it expired at midnight. That's okay, you've got more chapters and you seem to keep churning them out! I wanted to do more reviewing, but life has been busier than usual, and I feel as if I'm moving more slowly.
Some suggested revisions:
Her subconscious thoughts filled with planes crashing, a man thrashing in the water and clawing at the slippery bank.
-->
Her subconscious thoughts were filled with planes crashing, and a man thrashing in the water and clawing at the slippery bank.
"Elizabeth." A male voice called her name. "Elizabeth."
-->
"Elizabeth!" A male voice called her name. "Elizabeth!"
"Liz." Alyssa burst through the open door, screaming, "Liz."
-->
"Liz." Alyssa burst through the open door, screaming, "Liz!"
I thought I was going to tackle him head-on."
-->
I thought I was going to tackle him head-on!"
She lived in a Cinderella World and moving to Napa Valley, and the estate was an enormous change for her.
-->
She lived in a Cinderella world, and moving to Napa Valley and the estate was an enormous change for her.
***
I had suggested some revisions on the character list, but I guess you'll make them if you agree; I don't want to keep repeating them in every chapter... totally up to you. I like your description of Jon Saladino, "Priest and much more," well said!
Comment Written 22-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
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Thanks Mary Kay...
forgive me but I am still struggling to answer these reviews and makes the changes. I really appreciate your efforts and the kind thoughts.
Smiles, Carol
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You're very welcome, Carol. One day at a time... love and prayers, Mary Kay xoxo
Comment from ShirleyT1
This is an amazing chapter! Full of suspense and anticipation of what's going to happen next, especially the last paragraph. That's good writing in my opinion. When you leave the reader wanting more!
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
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This is an amazing chapter! Full of suspense and anticipation of what's going to happen next, especially the last paragraph. That's good writing in my opinion. When you leave the reader wanting more!
Comment Written 20-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
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Wanting more and more....music to my ears! LOL
Thanks so much for your kindness and the review. I hope you continue to love the story. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
It would appear that the documents they have uncovered in the safe are all about unknown factors as far as Liz is concerned until they come to some that seem to be quite disturbing. So we have to wait until the next chapter to discover their relevance.
Ralf
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
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It would appear that the documents they have uncovered in the safe are all about unknown factors as far as Liz is concerned until they come to some that seem to be quite disturbing. So we have to wait until the next chapter to discover their relevance.
Ralf
Comment Written 18-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
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Yes, Liz was loved deeply but she led a very pampered life because that is what Jack chose for her. Moving to the vineyards is a great unknown for her and now it appears Jack had lots of things he didn't share. Smiles, Carol
Comment from eliz100
You have written another intriguing chapter, as the plot continues to thicken. I do not see any room for improvement. I look forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
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You have written another intriguing chapter, as the plot continues to thicken. I do not see any room for improvement. I look forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
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As always, I want to thank you for taking the time to read and follow my story... I appreciate it very much and am glad that you are enjoying it. Smiles, Carol
Comment from royowen
I've never been very good at following murder/mysteries, (my wife tends to like them, I watch them for her sake) but I recognise the angst and the social interaction of the characters, but I like that interplay between the people and the mystery, I usually choose the least likely suspect, and Lo and behold, there's more to them than meets the eye, well done Carol, Blessings Roy
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
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I've never been very good at following murder/mysteries, (my wife tends to like them, I watch them for her sake) but I recognise the angst and the social interaction of the characters, but I like that interplay between the people and the mystery, I usually choose the least likely suspect, and Lo and behold, there's more to them than meets the eye, well done Carol, Blessings Roy
Comment Written 18-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
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Good morning, Roy
I am thrilled that you continue to follow the story... much more than murder is hidden in chapters to come. I appreciate you so much and that you find interest in my writing. Smiles, Carol
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Good job
Comment from barbara.wilkey
What oh What do we have here? I am curious about that photo of Faith. What does it show. Hmm, I can't wait for more.
Liz stared at the man peering in through her window (I have been gigged numerous times for using the nickname in narrative. The nickname should only be used in dialogue)
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
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What oh What do we have here? I am curious about that photo of Faith. What does it show. Hmm, I can't wait for more.
Liz stared at the man peering in through her window (I have been gigged numerous times for using the nickname in narrative. The nickname should only be used in dialogue)
Comment Written 18-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
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Well there is a lesson learned I guess. I used Bert instead of Roberta throughout all of On the Edge of Deception... OOOPS! I never knew that rule...To me, it would be confusing to jump back and forth all the time. And to be honest...You know I will never remember the rule just like the words that and down. LOL Smiles, Carol
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I didn't catch it before. Sorry, I've been gigged numerous times for it. I forget that one too.
Comment from Carol Clark2
Great chapter! So much suspense building! I just want to keep reading this story. Many good details with the map, invoices, lot numbers circled, and photos. I know they're all important, and I'm looking forward to finding out why and how they all fit together. Blessings. Carol
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
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Great chapter! So much suspense building! I just want to keep reading this story. Many good details with the map, invoices, lot numbers circled, and photos. I know they're all important, and I'm looking forward to finding out why and how they all fit together. Blessings. Carol
Comment Written 18-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
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Yes, I am so happy you caught all the clues in the package...well, almost all since I did hold back something...lol Every one gets something different from each chapter... one didn't think they learned a thing about the mysteries...and you give me golden stars! Hurrah!
Smiles, Carol
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Well, not everyone's a detective, I guess. But I know you give plenty of clues along the way.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
It's all very interesting but really we didn't learn a lot from this chapter. Hank has been set up to play a major role in this mystery. Allie will be there to back him up and support her best friend Liz. Good job, Carol. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
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It's all very interesting but really we didn't learn a lot from this chapter. Hank has been set up to play a major role in this mystery. Allie will be there to back him up and support her best friend Liz. Good job, Carol. Nancy:)
Comment Written 18-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
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Actually every one of the items that came out of the packet is a clue to the mysteries... You just don't know which ones go where.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Patty Palmer
A great story! I'm enjoying it very much and look forward to the upcoming chapters. You've really got a nack with mystery writing. Great job!
Hugs!!
Patty
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
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A great story! I'm enjoying it very much and look forward to the upcoming chapters. You've really got a nack with mystery writing. Great job!
Hugs!!
Patty
Comment Written 18-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
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Thank you, patty
i appreciate you taking the time to stop by and read my story. i try to keep the word count down so it doesn't take too long to read. Glad to know you enjoy it.
Smiles and hugs, Carol