Secrets in the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Secrets in the Wind - Chap 20"A story of loss, deceit, murder and crime
19 total reviews
Comment from Leann DS
Your book is so full of action and drama! There's something new in every chapter to make it exciting. Excellent work!
I'm not sure if this was a typo or if my screen reader is just reading it in a funny way, but you might want to check it out:
"But the patient..." She glanced at Cassidy and then back to the furious man addressing her.
Hoping to get in at least five more chapters today. Hugs.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2021
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Your book is so full of action and drama! There's something new in every chapter to make it exciting. Excellent work!
I'm not sure if this was a typo or if my screen reader is just reading it in a funny way, but you might want to check it out:
"But the patient..." She glanced at Cassidy and then back to the furious man addressing her.
Hoping to get in at least five more chapters today. Hugs.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2021
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How awesome you are!
This is the kind of reaction I so wanted from readers and you have simply made my day...my week. Thank you!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from eliz100
This is another great chapter, I do not see any room for improvement. I look forward to the next chapter. Have a blessed day. Not sure I can do too many more chapters tonight.
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2021
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This is another great chapter, I do not see any room for improvement. I look forward to the next chapter. Have a blessed day. Not sure I can do too many more chapters tonight.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2021
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I'll just say thank you for catching up with all of them. It takes a lot of time and I truly appreciate it. Hope you enjoy the story.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from karenina
Yes! Candy switheroo! How clever of you! Jon sold his pitiful soul to the devil and the devil's not giving refunds! Totally believable A guard might give a priest a little leeway. If your gonna be poisoned (Jon's such a creep!). Have it happen in a hospital... Comic relief (I hope) with Cassidy asking for a piece of candy?
This chapter had all the best "Carolisms" in it! Action, drama, A sprinkle of humor, engaging descriptions and (oh snap!). Cassidy asleep when Jon's revealing his nasty case of being "souled" out! Wow! Busy day of reading , but I'm half of the way through!
Good work!
Good night!
Karenina
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2021
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Yes! Candy switheroo! How clever of you! Jon sold his pitiful soul to the devil and the devil's not giving refunds! Totally believable A guard might give a priest a little leeway. If your gonna be poisoned (Jon's such a creep!). Have it happen in a hospital... Comic relief (I hope) with Cassidy asking for a piece of candy?
This chapter had all the best "Carolisms" in it! Action, drama, A sprinkle of humor, engaging descriptions and (oh snap!). Cassidy asleep when Jon's revealing his nasty case of being "souled" out! Wow! Busy day of reading , but I'm half of the way through!
Good work!
Good night!
Karenina
Comment Written 31-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2021
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I like that! "Carolisms"... What a wonderful way to end the day smiling and happy because I shared it with my sweet karenina.
Take care of yourself. You are always in my heart and on my mind.
Smiles, Carol
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I am so worried about the possibility my fingerprints can be found on chocolate! I often pick a piece and change my mind!
Karenina
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Where there's a will there's a way. Jon convinced Howard it was okay to let him into the room, but now Stacy suddenly becomes ill. The candy switch has been done, but the person who consumed it was not who was intended to eat it.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2021
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Where there's a will there's a way. Jon convinced Howard it was okay to let him into the room, but now Stacy suddenly becomes ill. The candy switch has been done, but the person who consumed it was not who was intended to eat it.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2021
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Yup, even the best laid plans of evil people can go awry... thank heavens. Thanks for the review, Ralf.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
See how hooked I am on your story? I just had to start catching up on what I missed! Well, this chapter answered one question: all thoughts I had of hope for Jon's possible redemption were dashed, with the knowledge that he would poison his own sister, to save his own sorry hide.
A few suggestions, here (sorry to make more work for you, my friend):
the intruder's eyes were menacing ...
-->
The intruder's eyes were menacing ...
The assortment of flowers are stunning, and they smell so good"
-->
The assortment of flowers is stunning, and they smell so good."
"Forgive for asking, but what happened to your face?"
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"Forgive me for asking, but what happened to your face?"
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I wasn't sure whether Tango figured it out, but I guess his "furious look" at Howard indicates he had some idea of what happened.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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See how hooked I am on your story? I just had to start catching up on what I missed! Well, this chapter answered one question: all thoughts I had of hope for Jon's possible redemption were dashed, with the knowledge that he would poison his own sister, to save his own sorry hide.
A few suggestions, here (sorry to make more work for you, my friend):
the intruder's eyes were menacing ...
-->
The intruder's eyes were menacing ...
The assortment of flowers are stunning, and they smell so good"
-->
The assortment of flowers is stunning, and they smell so good."
"Forgive for asking, but what happened to your face?"
-->
"Forgive me for asking, but what happened to your face?"
***
I wasn't sure whether Tango figured it out, but I guess his "furious look" at Howard indicates he had some idea of what happened.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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As a;ways, Mary Beth I appreciate all your help and for continuing to follow the story. i need to catch up so I can start writing again. thanks again. Smiles, Carol
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You're welcome, Carol. I appreciate your difficulty in keeping up. It's a great system here, writing, reviewing, collecting points etc., but it does present challenges for productive authors. May God give you strength and bless you. Love, Mary Kay xoxo
Comment from Judy Lawless
Another nice little piece of suspense, Carol. There is never a dull moment in this story, even with the more relaxing scenes. I was glad Cassidy fell asleep before eating a candy, but now I wonder why Jon was replacing some of them. Next chapter! Well done.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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Another nice little piece of suspense, Carol. There is never a dull moment in this story, even with the more relaxing scenes. I was glad Cassidy fell asleep before eating a candy, but now I wonder why Jon was replacing some of them. Next chapter! Well done.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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He wanted to kill his sister so Mason wouldn't kill him....but it's backfiring on him thank heavens.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from ShirleyT1
I didn't think I could hate Jon any more - but yes, I do! You have created a monster in this character. And candy is definitely not always what we think, is it? Great chapter filled with action.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2021
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I didn't think I could hate Jon any more - but yes, I do! You have created a monster in this character. And candy is definitely not always what we think, is it? Great chapter filled with action.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2021
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Unfortunately, Jon is based on a very cruel person, but he is weak and at times one feels he might deserve a little compassion. He will get one last chance to save his soul with the Lord. I wonder if he will recognize it and do the right thing. Smiles, Carol
Comment from robyn corum
Carol,
NO!!!! NO CANDY!!! But also, how did Jon know there would be a box of candy IN the room for him to swap his nasty pieces with?
Also?
1.) Spotting (i)nstead, a porcelain vase of red and white carnations,
2.) "Are you sure? Everyone will eat it.
Thanks a bunch!
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2021
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Carol,
NO!!!! NO CANDY!!! But also, how did Jon know there would be a box of candy IN the room for him to swap his nasty pieces with?
Also?
1.) Spotting (i)nstead, a porcelain vase of red and white carnations,
2.) "Are you sure? Everyone will eat it.
Thanks a bunch!
Comment Written 07-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2021
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Because Liz didn't send them...hint!
i thought those were changed but I'll check again...You know me...I do the work and then forget to save it!
smiles and hugs, Carol
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Oh, my stars. Brilliant.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Howard messed up. I hope Tango's gut knows it was the priest. Good writing.
He choked on the blood in his mouth and managed a mere "Yes." (pretty sure you need a comma after mere. it might need a period, but I'm guessing it's a speech tag.)
Jon left the room, murmured "thank you" to the guard whose thoughts were elsewhere, and hurried away. (comma after murmured)
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2021
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Howard messed up. I hope Tango's gut knows it was the priest. Good writing.
He choked on the blood in his mouth and managed a mere "Yes." (pretty sure you need a comma after mere. it might need a period, but I'm guessing it's a speech tag.)
Jon left the room, murmured "thank you" to the guard whose thoughts were elsewhere, and hurried away. (comma after murmured)
Comment Written 07-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2021
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Thanks for the thoughts and the review, Barbara.
I thought so too (the commas) but I wasn't sure. I have inserted them now and I thank you.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Ric Myworld
I guess, you've made another good point. Not all candy is just sweet. So, from now on, I'll have to get a taste tester who doesn't slobber to eat half before I finish it off. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter. :-)
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2021
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I guess, you've made another good point. Not all candy is just sweet. So, from now on, I'll have to get a taste tester who doesn't slobber to eat half before I finish it off. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter. :-)
Comment Written 07-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2021
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Yeah, and it was Fanny May. My favorites are the tiny pastel green mints... no way I could share a small bite like that so I guess I take my chances.
Hey, I see your trip to the grocery story is doing quite well. I knew you'd make the headlines....LOL
Smiles, Carol
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I have no idea how the trip to the grocery story is doing. I don't keep up with them after I write 'um down and answer the reviews. I don't like contests or competitions, which are mostly popularity contests. I devote most of my time to reading very few writers, so I'm not likely to build a great following. Now, I'm going to crawl on a float in the pool and take a nap. LOL. ((HUG)) Ric
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don't burn that fluffy tail....