Secrets in the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 55 "Secrets in the Wind - Chap 55"A story of loss, deceit, murder and crime
20 total reviews
Comment from robyn corum
Carol,
Well, that's a good thing, at least. It's about time those two mended their bridge. I know that had to be hard for both of them. Good job.
Notes:
1.) She hesitated at the entrance (to) the front room.
2.) you were so close."
Liz moved close to Mary. "May I give you a hug?"
Mary smiled, "Of course, I couldn't imagine anything I'd rather have right now." Liz drew Mary close
--> 'close' x3
Thanks!
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2021
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Carol,
Well, that's a good thing, at least. It's about time those two mended their bridge. I know that had to be hard for both of them. Good job.
Notes:
1.) She hesitated at the entrance (to) the front room.
2.) you were so close."
Liz moved close to Mary. "May I give you a hug?"
Mary smiled, "Of course, I couldn't imagine anything I'd rather have right now." Liz drew Mary close
--> 'close' x3
Thanks!
Comment Written 26-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2021
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Changes made and I appreciate the help.
I don't know which way is up at the moment. Appreciate you as always.
Carol
Comment from justafan
Here I am... crying!
This resonates with me because I placed a child for adoption. It's a gut wrenching experience.
Another well written and thought out chapter.
Always
Justafan of yours
Missy
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2021
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Here I am... crying!
This resonates with me because I placed a child for adoption. It's a gut wrenching experience.
Another well written and thought out chapter.
Always
Justafan of yours
Missy
Comment Written 19-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2021
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Missy,
Please accept my sincere apologies for this cut-and-paste response, but know that I have read and appreciate your review. I don't want to ignore responses and believe I must thank you for your time and thoughts. Your kindness is deeply appreciated. This morning is the first time in a week that I can call my own and I want to use it to tell everyone thank you.
Today is also my husband's "Heavenly Birthday" so I believe he is sitting with me, urging me to write and be me.
I send you a smile and a hug and a huge thank you. Carol
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
What a wonderful time for Mary and Liz! It wasn't an easy conversation, especially in the beginning, but it grew easier, as it progressed. I love happy endings, and while it wasn't happy for Jon, I'm happy for Mary's reconciliation with Liz.
I have the following suggestions for grammatical revisions:
She'd found her daughter, Hope, only to have ice water on her dreams.
-->
She'd found her daughter, Hope, only to have ice water thrown on her dreams.
Mary wiped away a straggling tear as it ran down her cheek ...
-->
Mary wiped away a straggling tear as it ran down her cheek, ...
and they gave me everything a child could want except attention from my parents.
-->
and they gave me everything a child could want, except attention from my parents.
It was Allie and Jack who showed me there was a wonderful world outside my house. A world I didn't appreciate until now.
-->
It was Allie and Jack who showed me there was a wonderful world outside my house--a world I didn't appreciate until now.
***
You did a beautiful job writing this very special chapter.
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2021
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What a wonderful time for Mary and Liz! It wasn't an easy conversation, especially in the beginning, but it grew easier, as it progressed. I love happy endings, and while it wasn't happy for Jon, I'm happy for Mary's reconciliation with Liz.
I have the following suggestions for grammatical revisions:
She'd found her daughter, Hope, only to have ice water on her dreams.
-->
She'd found her daughter, Hope, only to have ice water thrown on her dreams.
Mary wiped away a straggling tear as it ran down her cheek ...
-->
Mary wiped away a straggling tear as it ran down her cheek, ...
and they gave me everything a child could want except attention from my parents.
-->
and they gave me everything a child could want, except attention from my parents.
It was Allie and Jack who showed me there was a wonderful world outside my house. A world I didn't appreciate until now.
-->
It was Allie and Jack who showed me there was a wonderful world outside my house--a world I didn't appreciate until now.
***
You did a beautiful job writing this very special chapter.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2021
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My apologies for the short response, but it's all that I can manage at this moment. Thank you so much for continuing to read.
Hugs, Carol
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I know you truly care, dear friend. I'm amazed that you were able to get on and post your 58th chapter, even though you probably had it already written ... may God watch over you and all of your family, every moment of every day, and may He answer all of your prayers, and bring you safely through this time of crisis, in Jesus' Name, Amen! Love, Mary Kay xoxo
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Another lovely chapter, Carol. You haven't missed covering the very sensual emotions that would be present in these encounters. You have detailed so many aspects of this experience. The first reactions and then the ameliorated feelings of acceptance or well depicted here. An informative depiction of mother, daughter discovery.
Ralf
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2021
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Another lovely chapter, Carol. You haven't missed covering the very sensual emotions that would be present in these encounters. You have detailed so many aspects of this experience. The first reactions and then the ameliorated feelings of acceptance or well depicted here. An informative depiction of mother, daughter discovery.
Ralf
Comment Written 18-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2021
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Thank you for reading, enjoying and for the review. I apologize for the short cut-and-paste response but it's all lI can manage right now. Please know that I care.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from lancellot
Well, at least that was a happy ending. And with both there stories being hard and unfortunate, neither could hold blame on the other. It was a good way to make everything feel right. This was very well written and I don't see how it could be better.
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2021
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Well, at least that was a happy ending. And with both there stories being hard and unfortunate, neither could hold blame on the other. It was a good way to make everything feel right. This was very well written and I don't see how it could be better.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2021
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Thank you for reading, enjoying and for the review. I apologize for the short cut-and-paste response but it's all I can manage right now. Please know that I care.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Great job describing the emotion, but I think here would be a good place to tell Liz that Mary didn't know at the beginning that she was Faith's mother.
Mary rubbed her hands together and closed her eyes before continuing. "I met Jon when he needed a tutor. (comma needed after continuing, but you should make it active, before she continued,)
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2021
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Great job describing the emotion, but I think here would be a good place to tell Liz that Mary didn't know at the beginning that she was Faith's mother.
Mary rubbed her hands together and closed her eyes before continuing. "I met Jon when he needed a tutor. (comma needed after continuing, but you should make it active, before she continued,)
Comment Written 16-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2021
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In my head I meant to do that but now as I look back I see my head wasn't working with my fingers or visa versa. Thanks for pointing that out. I'll do a little rewrite.
Glad you enjoyed the conversation and that the emotions came across as you read. I'll get it fixed.
Smiles, Carol
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Hey, the same thing happens to me. LOL
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I added a sentence that said Mary fell in love with Faith and Annie while caring for them, but she only found out recently that Faith was her daughter. Do you think that's enough?
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Yes, I think it is.
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Thanks again
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No problem. I only want to help.
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I know and I truly appreciate it.
Comment from karenina
I have said it before, Carol, but with all your intricate multi-layered crime plots it is in these interpersonal and emotional dialogues that you excel beyond all expectation! This chapter was carhartic! I so wanted these two to come together, and you've finesse it beautifully...
Karenina
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2021
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I have said it before, Carol, but with all your intricate multi-layered crime plots it is in these interpersonal and emotional dialogues that you excel beyond all expectation! This chapter was carhartic! I so wanted these two to come together, and you've finesse it beautifully...
Karenina
Comment Written 16-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2021
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Thank you... Yes I believe I do best when I can write from my heart. I feel their emotions - good or bad - as if I was living it. How I got involved in writing crime (other than I enjoy reading or watching them) I don't know. I thought I would just be writing love scenes, but they seem the most difficult for me.
Smiles and ugs and lots of love, Carol
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There are so MANY kinds of "love" scenes to write Not surprisingly, knowing your devotion to family, you tap your inner resource and shine a hopeful light on many a family torn or shattered...helping them find a way through life's storm. If crime be the vehicle, so be it... You do that wonderfully as well!--Karenina
Comment from pookietoo
A touching story. Keep up with the story writing and sharing your story with us. Best wishes always. Good luck to you and best wishes. Keep smiling.
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2021
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A touching story. Keep up with the story writing and sharing your story with us. Best wishes always. Good luck to you and best wishes. Keep smiling.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2021
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Thank you for reading, enjoying and for the review. I apologize for the short cut-and-paste response but it's all I can manage right now. Please know that I care.
Hugs, Carol
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Welcome
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Welcome
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
Good to know they have realized that Liz is Mary's daughter and this leads to an intense emotional interaction. An emotion-filled chapter leading to a new beginning hopefully.. There are good human emotions of forgiveness, goodwill, good vibrations. Good going in this chapter. Enjoyed!
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2021
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Good to know they have realized that Liz is Mary's daughter and this leads to an intense emotional interaction. An emotion-filled chapter leading to a new beginning hopefully.. There are good human emotions of forgiveness, goodwill, good vibrations. Good going in this chapter. Enjoyed!
Comment Written 16-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2021
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Thank you for stopping by to read and comment on my story. Your time and words are greatly appreciated.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Brilliant. Intense interaction rings true to circumstances. Powerful opening with LIZ praying. Heartwarming closer--will you please pull a miracle and let Faith live?
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2021
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Brilliant. Intense interaction rings true to circumstances. Powerful opening with LIZ praying. Heartwarming closer--will you please pull a miracle and let Faith live?
Comment Written 16-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2021
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The decision was already made a few chapters ago but of course I can not reveal it... I did drop a clue though. LOL Thanks for being involved with my characters. I appreciate it very much.
Smiles, Carol
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How many more chapters?