Secrets in the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 59 "Secrets in the Wind - Chap 59"A story of loss, deceit, murder and crime
21 total reviews
Comment from Leann DS
I love it! And I love how Miguel ends up being a good guy. One way I thought you could stress that more is for Annie to tell her grandmother that Miguel is her friend and was nice to her or something to that effect. Maybe while he's hugging his mom She could point to him and say quote that's Miguel and he's my friend." Well, not exactly that because that is some lame dialogue, but something good. :-)
A typo/grammar error? Maybe...
Garth answered for Sofia, "Yes, her grandmother." He nodded to an agent who radioed the waiting car to bring Mary. In moments, Mary and Sofia stood side by side, two terrified and trembling women, praying their family would be okay.
Should family be plural?
Awesome book. Definitely a winner. Well done, my friend. Love, hugs, and rainbow sprinkles!
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2021
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I love it! And I love how Miguel ends up being a good guy. One way I thought you could stress that more is for Annie to tell her grandmother that Miguel is her friend and was nice to her or something to that effect. Maybe while he's hugging his mom She could point to him and say quote that's Miguel and he's my friend." Well, not exactly that because that is some lame dialogue, but something good. :-)
A typo/grammar error? Maybe...
Garth answered for Sofia, "Yes, her grandmother." He nodded to an agent who radioed the waiting car to bring Mary. In moments, Mary and Sofia stood side by side, two terrified and trembling women, praying their family would be okay.
Should family be plural?
Awesome book. Definitely a winner. Well done, my friend. Love, hugs, and rainbow sprinkles!
Comment Written 15-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2021
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I probably could have stressed Miguel's part with Annie a bit more but since Mary was there as it all unfolded I was afraid it would be redundant. When I go back to rewrite I most definitely will take a second look.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from Cogitator
You certainly have a gift. Although I seldom read fiction, I do check on your work. This piece is definitely one of your best. I cannot suggest anything resembling an improvement...John
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2021
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You certainly have a gift. Although I seldom read fiction, I do check on your work. This piece is definitely one of your best. I cannot suggest anything resembling an improvement...John
Comment Written 28-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2021
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I am deeply flatter by your review, John. My enjoyment comes from others finding pleasure in my stories. I too feel that this one has been the most enjoyable to write. I hope to self-publish when it is finished and polished. Thank you---
Carol
Comment from Thomas Corbett
It definitely is a good story for having you in the moment. I could picture everything I read. Thank you for sharing your story and I hope you feel good about this chapter. Thank you,
T.M.Corbett
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reply by the author on 30-Sep-2021
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It definitely is a good story for having you in the moment. I could picture everything I read. Thank you for sharing your story and I hope you feel good about this chapter. Thank you,
T.M.Corbett
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2021
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Thank you for your review.
Carol
Comment from Zhen Xuan Liu
I love this chapter! I enjoy the description you put into this. The conversation flows nicely and I was able to picture the scene happening in my mind. Congrats on being recognized, you earned it! Keep up the great work!
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2021
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I love this chapter! I enjoy the description you put into this. The conversation flows nicely and I was able to picture the scene happening in my mind. Congrats on being recognized, you earned it! Keep up the great work!
Comment Written 26-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2021
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Hello, Zhen
Thank you for stopping by and reading a chapter from my mystery/crime series. I appreciate your time and your thoughts.
Smiles, Carol
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No problem! Happy writing!
Comment from robyn corum
Carol,
Looks good to me. When you go back over it for the final editing you may see some things you would like to change, but so far, I think you're in great shape. Only a single note here:
Sofia watched as her son was (led) toward one of the vehicles.
And moving on!
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2021
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Carol,
Looks good to me. When you go back over it for the final editing you may see some things you would like to change, but so far, I think you're in great shape. Only a single note here:
Sofia watched as her son was (led) toward one of the vehicles.
And moving on!
Comment Written 26-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2021
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Thanks for continuing to read and enjoy the story. We are getting closer to wrapping it up and I appreciate that you continued to follow.
Hugs, CArol
Comment from Ric Myworld
It's always a pleasure to read your heart wrenching stories that unleash those emotions that big bears try to keep hidden. And the signs of your inner strength that allow you to keep writing even in the worst of times for you. You're in my thoughts and prayers!
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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It's always a pleasure to read your heart wrenching stories that unleash those emotions that big bears try to keep hidden. And the signs of your inner strength that allow you to keep writing even in the worst of times for you. You're in my thoughts and prayers!
Comment Written 26-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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I've been having a flood at my house...crying and trying to see the keyboard. I can't explain it, but once I started writing I couldn't stop. It was like all the tension was flowing out my fingers. Wierd, huh?
Thank you and hugs, Carol
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Whatever works, my dear, Carol! If it keeps the mind off the difficult thoughts and keeps you busy it's a good thing. And you know us readers enjoy clearing our own minds a little as we read your stories. Hang tough and keep busy as you can since it's working a little. Hugs and a peck on the forehead!
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
This has been such a well-crafted story from the beginning and this chapter is anti-climatic. You have woven such a beautiful tale about a mother's dream coming true and how fate plays such a heavy part in our outcome.
Ralf
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2021
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This has been such a well-crafted story from the beginning and this chapter is anti-climatic. You have woven such a beautiful tale about a mother's dream coming true and how fate plays such a heavy part in our outcome.
Ralf
Comment Written 26-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2021
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Thanks Ralf... You always have a way of lifting my spirits and coaxing me to move forward without ever appearing to be pushy. You are always there. I am so appreciative.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Patty Palmer
BRAVO! I think you did this chapter justice quite well. The rescue of Annie was treated very gingerly. I like that in the end, Miguel became Annie's protector, holding her and shielding her from bullets. Miguel made sure Annie was safe and for Annie that maybe will make a difference in her life how she will deal with that situation. Thanks for sharing your book and your talents with us all.
(HUGS)
Patty
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2021
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BRAVO! I think you did this chapter justice quite well. The rescue of Annie was treated very gingerly. I like that in the end, Miguel became Annie's protector, holding her and shielding her from bullets. Miguel made sure Annie was safe and for Annie that maybe will make a difference in her life how she will deal with that situation. Thanks for sharing your book and your talents with us all.
(HUGS)
Patty
Comment Written 25-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2021
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Good morning, Patty
You lit up my screen this morning with all your bright stars...THANK YOU! I am not sure how I am writing, but I guess my heart and my muse must be at the wheel and they seem to be doing a good job.
Appreciate the kind review and stars! Awesome!
Hugs, Carol
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You're very welcome!
Patty
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I liked Annie's rescue. You had emotion and action. My problem with it is you need to decide who's POV you're in and stay. You kept switching. You may want to write part outside, notify you're readers go inside, and then repeat.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2021
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I liked Annie's rescue. You had emotion and action. My problem with it is you need to decide who's POV you're in and stay. You kept switching. You may want to write part outside, notify you're readers go inside, and then repeat.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2021
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I do believe a lot of my emotions got packed into these chapters without me even realizing it. I thank you as always for your support and kind words... Always, Carol
Sorry about the POV...I was lucky I was writing but I will make note and see if I can correct it.
Comment from karenina
Amazing chapter! as much as we've all been fretting over Annie's rescue it was a wonderful convergence of a brave young Annie, pondering how Sebastian must be missing her, AND her sweet concern that Miguel, who truly did save her, come out and be with his mama too! TEARS IN MY EYES!
Bravo.
Karenina
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2021
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Amazing chapter! as much as we've all been fretting over Annie's rescue it was a wonderful convergence of a brave young Annie, pondering how Sebastian must be missing her, AND her sweet concern that Miguel, who truly did save her, come out and be with his mama too! TEARS IN MY EYES!
Bravo.
Karenina
Comment Written 24-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2021
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I do believe a lot of my emotions got packed into these chapters without me even realizing it. I thank you as always for your support and kind words... Always, Carol
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I'm not even aware of how invested I become in your characters... And then you begin to wrap things up and I'm left blubbering! --Karenina