Genius in Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Genius in Love: Scene Finale"In Search of a Soul
29 total reviews
Comment from robyn corum
Jay,
Well. Fiddle. I'm always late to the party. But I got here and that's what counts. I loved the ending and now I can see how you've woven each piece, scene, and character so beautifully, driving to this magnificent final scene - the final tapestry. Of course.
He's ready for the world, now. Great job.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2021
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Jay,
Well. Fiddle. I'm always late to the party. But I got here and that's what counts. I loved the ending and now I can see how you've woven each piece, scene, and character so beautifully, driving to this magnificent final scene - the final tapestry. Of course.
He's ready for the world, now. Great job.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2021
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THe invitation is always welcome at my parties, Robyn. So happy all came together for you
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
I already loved Cornelius, but this is a perfect scene for him to shine. You have done a really good job on this play and it should be publishable, but it is best if you can get some group, maybe your local amateur theater or high school, to perform it. Then you know what doesn't work or does work. You might also look for a way to cut back on the scene settings you use, or way to disguise one scene to look like another, or have two scenes on stage at a time. Only one small thing I saw to change in this scene: Cililla's midriff (not mid-drift).
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2021
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I already loved Cornelius, but this is a perfect scene for him to shine. You have done a really good job on this play and it should be publishable, but it is best if you can get some group, maybe your local amateur theater or high school, to perform it. Then you know what doesn't work or does work. You might also look for a way to cut back on the scene settings you use, or way to disguise one scene to look like another, or have two scenes on stage at a time. Only one small thing I saw to change in this scene: Cililla's midriff (not mid-drift).
Comment Written 07-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2021
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You are so kind, Carol. At my age, I wouldn't have the patience or the energy to pursue getting this on stage. But you make me happy thinking that it has merit. Thank you for pointing out Cililla's midriff. I'll change it immediately. AGain, thank you!
Comment from pookietoo
That is a very cute and awesome script. How long does it take to write them? I enjoyed reading it very much. I hope that life treats you well. Take care.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2021
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That is a very cute and awesome script. How long does it take to write them? I enjoyed reading it very much. I hope that life treats you well. Take care.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2021
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Hi, Pookietoo. Love it! It takes me longer than it should, but I can be pretty hard on myself. Thank you for reading it, and for kind words.
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Welcome.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
The htlm in Howard Plumb is distracting and easy to edit. (Not a knock against the script. Just a pet peeve of mine.)
Now, on to this well penned script.
An enjoyable way to end this script. No doubt you worked hard to create this. Even the stage directions show that.
Could easily see this performed on a live stage somewhere. Believe it would go over well. Even has a cheered "hero" at the piano who demonstrates although he is autistic he can still produce something of high quality.
Maybe "you let the piano say everything that needed saying" should be needs saying?
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2021
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The htlm in Howard Plumb is distracting and easy to edit. (Not a knock against the script. Just a pet peeve of mine.)
Now, on to this well penned script.
An enjoyable way to end this script. No doubt you worked hard to create this. Even the stage directions show that.
Could easily see this performed on a live stage somewhere. Believe it would go over well. Even has a cheered "hero" at the piano who demonstrates although he is autistic he can still produce something of high quality.
Maybe "you let the piano say everything that needed saying" should be needs saying?
Comment Written 06-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2021
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Brett, I work so galdern hard to strip my posts of any stray htlm, and if I relax in that effort it's more likely to be found in the "Author Notes". No more! There were three whole lines of HTML for one freakin' apostrophe. (Makes me wonder why FS is the only online editor I have encountered that has that problem.) Anyway, thanks. It is corrected.
Meanwhile I appreciate you so much. You don't know it, but yours is the review that pushed me (or tugged me) into ATB for this scene. This was the last day, and I was afraid I wouldn't make it.
And you did it with such pinache, my friend. Thanks for the six stars. You make me proud, and while it may very well go before the fall, it sure makes me fell good when it visits.
Be blessed!
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You so definately deserve ATB for this script. Congrats on that! The sixer on this script was a no brainer. What else should it have gotten? So well crafted.
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I am nourished by kindness such as yours, dear friend.
Comment from juliaSjames
Congratulations Jay. I wasn't able to follow this play rigorously but I've read enough to appreciate Cornie's triumph in this finale. I believe you poured your heart and soul into this write - look at your stage directions!
Excellent contrast between sweet Jennie and the ebullient figment of Cornie's imagination, Cililla the teenage rocker ( reminds me of swinging London during my college days).
Kudos my friend..
Stay safe
Blessings Julia
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2021
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Congratulations Jay. I wasn't able to follow this play rigorously but I've read enough to appreciate Cornie's triumph in this finale. I believe you poured your heart and soul into this write - look at your stage directions!
Excellent contrast between sweet Jennie and the ebullient figment of Cornie's imagination, Cililla the teenage rocker ( reminds me of swinging London during my college days).
Kudos my friend..
Stay safe
Blessings Julia
Comment Written 05-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2021
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Ah, Julia, you do my heart good! Thank you so much for reading Genius in Love and for your kind words. Were you a Rocker or a Mod?
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I did my own thing. Can't believe now the daring way I dressed minis. hot pants, ridiculous shoes! Ah to be young and carefree! Lololol
Comment from Theodore McDowell
Jay, I have given this a quick scan and bookmarked it for further enjoyment. From what I read, you are striking the right chords in the finale. Great work. Your sci-fi book is off the charts great, BTW. Just submitted a poem to Genius. My numbers have slid on Medium. I need to begin posting again more now that I am feeling better.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2021
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Jay, I have given this a quick scan and bookmarked it for further enjoyment. From what I read, you are striking the right chords in the finale. Great work. Your sci-fi book is off the charts great, BTW. Just submitted a poem to Genius. My numbers have slid on Medium. I need to begin posting again more now that I am feeling better.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2021
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So glad you are feeling better! It's hard for anyone on the outside to talk about depression without sounding trite and unhelpful. I'm glad you made an appearance here on this script. I just need two more to get me over the magic number. Fingers crossed, that should happen.
Comment from Jasmine Girl
I don't think this piece is very long. It's an abbreviated version of the graduation. It's never clear to me why Jennie was there, page turning? You could spend time to describe parents" reaction to the music and so on. You can also describe students walking up to stage.
As for the courtship between Cornie and Jennie. I keep wishing more. There is a lot of interaction between him and Cillia. Now he is cured so he should have more interaction with a real lover: Jennie. I would like it if you could write about that.
Wel done
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2021
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I don't think this piece is very long. It's an abbreviated version of the graduation. It's never clear to me why Jennie was there, page turning? You could spend time to describe parents" reaction to the music and so on. You can also describe students walking up to stage.
As for the courtship between Cornie and Jennie. I keep wishing more. There is a lot of interaction between him and Cillia. Now he is cured so he should have more interaction with a real lover: Jennie. I would like it if you could write about that.
Wel done
Comment Written 05-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2021
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They're only 12 years old, Lisa. LOL, thanks for reviewing.
Comment from tfawcus
A grand finale, Jay. I've so much enjoyed this play. Marvellous depth of character and great sensitivity in your portrayal of this condition. I rarely listen to accompanying AV, but I'm glad I did this time. Mind-blowing performances that are integral to the enjoyment of this last episode.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2021
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A grand finale, Jay. I've so much enjoyed this play. Marvellous depth of character and great sensitivity in your portrayal of this condition. I rarely listen to accompanying AV, but I'm glad I did this time. Mind-blowing performances that are integral to the enjoyment of this last episode.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2021
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It wouldn't have been complete without your kind words, Tony. Thank you so much ... and for the six stars!
Comment from amahra
Wow, Jay this was a great ending for this dear little boy. And somewhere Cililla is still doing a victory dance. I liked the part where the children gasped when Mr. Hollows called on Corny for entertainment. And the part when Cililla was setting on that boy's lap and the boy asking Corny what he was looking at. That was really funny.
I listened to Chopin and Swanee River Boogie Woogie and imagined Corny was playing. Great job, Jay and fantastic finale to a heartwarming story.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2021
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Wow, Jay this was a great ending for this dear little boy. And somewhere Cililla is still doing a victory dance. I liked the part where the children gasped when Mr. Hollows called on Corny for entertainment. And the part when Cililla was setting on that boy's lap and the boy asking Corny what he was looking at. That was really funny.
I listened to Chopin and Swanee River Boogie Woogie and imagined Corny was playing. Great job, Jay and fantastic finale to a heartwarming story.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2021
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I'm so happy you enjoyed this finale, right down to listening to the selections at the proper time. If that cute little boy playing the Boogie Woogie hadn't kept aping the camera with his grin, I'd have suggested the reader watch him play, imagining it was Cornie. I'm sure that lad doesn't have trouble getting a date. Thank you so much for the six stars!
Comment from Senyai
Hi Jay,
Amazing! I can't stress enough how well you concluded this touchingly brilliant story of an autistic boy, Cornelius Plumb in 1952. Jay, you handled the death (letting Jennie think he died in his sleep while cleaning out their old house in New Mexico) of Mr. Gary Jax will kid gloves and stayed true to the way families dealt with suicide at the time. Cornie and Jennie are adorable tender twelve year olds forging their way through life that has great obstacles in their way, (death, suicide, bullying, autism, stigmas) but come though in such a tearfully lovely ending.
I will always remember these seven characters for the rest of my life. Cornie and his mind's Cililla Queez with her mini shirts and rainbow hair coaching Cornie to take on the terrifying aspects of autism with love and grace. His musical genius keeps him grounded in his "ocean" of peace"... after the demise of Piddly Poo. Toloachi, his mother who loves and understands Cornie from birth and desires the best for him with all her heart. She also knows her husband, Mr. Howard Plumb who dismissed his "damaged son" for most of Cornie's twelve years but does love him and is overtaken with affection toward Cornie as Cornie emerged triumphant at the graduation ceremony with Jennie by his side....and sweet caring Jennie who is the light in the dark for Cornie to look to that drew him out of his alienation.
Sweet Jennie who has lost her brother and now her father, Gary Jax. Mr. Jax failed his family in his weakness and left Phyllis to deal with life on her own. Dear Phyllis who tries to always see the best in people. She and Jennie will be all right. Then there is admirable Mr.Jeff Hallows, principal of Zachary Taylor Middle School. He always saw the good in Cornelius not just his musical genius but into the potential inside this autistic lad to make it in the real world and he nurtured that kernel at a time that shunned mental and emotional disabilities and basically shut them away from the public eye.
Loved the ending, Jay! It is the ending? -sorry if I assumed too quickly. It felt like is was the beautiful conclusion. So satisfying and good. Settled in my mind to keep this touching story tucked inside my heart.
Always,
Senyai
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2021
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Hi Jay,
Amazing! I can't stress enough how well you concluded this touchingly brilliant story of an autistic boy, Cornelius Plumb in 1952. Jay, you handled the death (letting Jennie think he died in his sleep while cleaning out their old house in New Mexico) of Mr. Gary Jax will kid gloves and stayed true to the way families dealt with suicide at the time. Cornie and Jennie are adorable tender twelve year olds forging their way through life that has great obstacles in their way, (death, suicide, bullying, autism, stigmas) but come though in such a tearfully lovely ending.
I will always remember these seven characters for the rest of my life. Cornie and his mind's Cililla Queez with her mini shirts and rainbow hair coaching Cornie to take on the terrifying aspects of autism with love and grace. His musical genius keeps him grounded in his "ocean" of peace"... after the demise of Piddly Poo. Toloachi, his mother who loves and understands Cornie from birth and desires the best for him with all her heart. She also knows her husband, Mr. Howard Plumb who dismissed his "damaged son" for most of Cornie's twelve years but does love him and is overtaken with affection toward Cornie as Cornie emerged triumphant at the graduation ceremony with Jennie by his side....and sweet caring Jennie who is the light in the dark for Cornie to look to that drew him out of his alienation.
Sweet Jennie who has lost her brother and now her father, Gary Jax. Mr. Jax failed his family in his weakness and left Phyllis to deal with life on her own. Dear Phyllis who tries to always see the best in people. She and Jennie will be all right. Then there is admirable Mr.Jeff Hallows, principal of Zachary Taylor Middle School. He always saw the good in Cornelius not just his musical genius but into the potential inside this autistic lad to make it in the real world and he nurtured that kernel at a time that shunned mental and emotional disabilities and basically shut them away from the public eye.
Loved the ending, Jay! It is the ending? -sorry if I assumed too quickly. It felt like is was the beautiful conclusion. So satisfying and good. Settled in my mind to keep this touching story tucked inside my heart.
Always,
Senyai
Comment Written 04-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2021
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Lovely words, Senyai. So poignantly felt, I know. You've locked in every character, even Piddly-Poo, and brought out their essence in your understanding. Yes, the play's over. I am breathing quietly again. As an aside, I could almost picture the boy playing the boogie-woogie piano as being Cornelius, that is, until he kept grinning at the camera. That boy wouldn't have trouble getting dates, would he?
Again, thank you so much for being with this play from the beginning, Senyai. Oddly, I don't think this last scene will accrue the 26 reviewers it needs to crack into ATB. If it does, then October's could well end the play with 9 consecutive months of "Number One For the Month". Sorry if it sounds like I'm boasting, but I would be proud of that honor.
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I hear you, Jay! It would be an honor indeed. ATB is definitely owed to this endearing story. I don?t know who is on The Committee but they would be daft not to award this story Number One for the Month, in my humble opinion :))
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But it can only be conferred to ATB stories, not Recognized (under 25 reviews). It's really no biggie. The combatant in me just doesn't want to lose the streak.
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Jay, you are Number 1 ATB for October right now! Not sure how this ranking system works? do you keep that number but for how long and what determines that number changing as the month progresses?
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Thank you for keeping an eye on it. It's too early to order the champagne, but if it remains number 1 at month end it will mean Genius in Love has made number 1 every month since its beginning.
I'm no fool, though. There was little, if any competition. There are only a handful of script/playwrights on FanStory. Most don't promote them enough to reach the necessary 26 review portal. An example would be Lancelot's (Lance's) finale of his superb script, "The Nation". It should be the script of the month (and I told him so), but he only promoted it to the $0.80 level, while mine was at $1.22. Take a look at "The Nation" and you'll see what I meant in my review to him.
Lance is brilliant, and very socially oriented.
If Lance is the true Patriarch of the Script/Playwright family, Judi (Judiverse) is Matriarch, and she, too, is brilliant. You've probably read her stuff. I've learned so much from each of them, Senyai.
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Jay, good to know?
I will look into these great writers as well.
Have a great day :))