Daydreams from the Ashes
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "The Bitter Truth"Poems and meditations
5 total reviews
Comment from AliMom
Wow. Powerful and frightening. In your face blunt. I knew you could write prose. I've been following your stories. But I had no idea you were also such a great poet. The descriptions of the wasted body are horrifyingly real.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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Wow. Powerful and frightening. In your face blunt. I knew you could write prose. I've been following your stories. But I had no idea you were also such a great poet. The descriptions of the wasted body are horrifyingly real.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. It's definitely been frightening to live. I appreciate the feedback and I'm glad it landed the way it did. Have a wonderful day.
Comment from Ken Weene
Biographical but not autobiographical. Perhaps if it were about oneself, the poet might share more of the fleeting images both that precede and that predict. Possibly, too, the idea of death at my advanced age suggests possibilities more than just dread and loss.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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Biographical but not autobiographical. Perhaps if it were about oneself, the poet might share more of the fleeting images both that precede and that predict. Possibly, too, the idea of death at my advanced age suggests possibilities more than just dread and loss.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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Thank you for reading and reviewing. It is autobiographical, but I didn't see a label for it that matched, only biographical. I'm sorry it didn't measure up. I hope you have a great day, though.
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By using the word I someplace in the poem, it makes it autobiographical. That it is your story makes it much more powerful.
Comment from Susan Newell
I would give this a six if I had it. Your poem is written so matter-of-factly, without pathos or pretense, that it is even more powerful than it would be if filled with laments. It must be a terrible thing to watch yourself waste away and yet somehow not recognize what it is doing to you enough to create changes in behavior. It is not unlike smokers who can't quit cigarettes. Reason doesn't enter into the equation. Anorexia is another form of addiction. I am deeply sorry for your struggle and hope that you can somehow come to believe that you are worth saving and worth turning into a healthy person. I know it's not that simple, and don't intend to suggest that it is. Blessings upon you.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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I would give this a six if I had it. Your poem is written so matter-of-factly, without pathos or pretense, that it is even more powerful than it would be if filled with laments. It must be a terrible thing to watch yourself waste away and yet somehow not recognize what it is doing to you enough to create changes in behavior. It is not unlike smokers who can't quit cigarettes. Reason doesn't enter into the equation. Anorexia is another form of addiction. I am deeply sorry for your struggle and hope that you can somehow come to believe that you are worth saving and worth turning into a healthy person. I know it's not that simple, and don't intend to suggest that it is. Blessings upon you.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I appreciate the kind words. I hope I get there eventually as well. Have a wonderful day.
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You are very welcome.
Comment from Frank Malley
"The Bitter Truth" tackles a tough theme: mortality. However, it is a favorite theme; any poet who wrote extensively is almost sure to have written something about death. WS visited it everywhere; also see Dickinson, Byron, Marvel, Lowe...well, everybody. So if you cook in the charnel pot, you have to season your recipe especially well to get a reaction from the venerable and experienced audiences who have already rifled the mausoleum's best-rated shelves. Perhaps the most striking characteristic of this poem,"The Bitter Truth," is its direct assault on the experience of being mortal. There is no coyness or cuteness in these 29 lines. The pain of facing death is measured by multiple physical experiences that are expressed in abstract metaphors and examples. They are, again, straightforward, but the language needs more forceful expressions detailing the brain, flesh, blood, and guts that are the victims of mortality.
This is a good poem; I think it needs to find more fire in the resentment that dying awakens in a mortal being. A little Dylan Thomas flavor, for example. And maybe some presentation of the things that bind us to life: intelligence, beauty, love, incompleteness.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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"The Bitter Truth" tackles a tough theme: mortality. However, it is a favorite theme; any poet who wrote extensively is almost sure to have written something about death. WS visited it everywhere; also see Dickinson, Byron, Marvel, Lowe...well, everybody. So if you cook in the charnel pot, you have to season your recipe especially well to get a reaction from the venerable and experienced audiences who have already rifled the mausoleum's best-rated shelves. Perhaps the most striking characteristic of this poem,"The Bitter Truth," is its direct assault on the experience of being mortal. There is no coyness or cuteness in these 29 lines. The pain of facing death is measured by multiple physical experiences that are expressed in abstract metaphors and examples. They are, again, straightforward, but the language needs more forceful expressions detailing the brain, flesh, blood, and guts that are the victims of mortality.
This is a good poem; I think it needs to find more fire in the resentment that dying awakens in a mortal being. A little Dylan Thomas flavor, for example. And maybe some presentation of the things that bind us to life: intelligence, beauty, love, incompleteness.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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Thank you very much for such a thoughtful review. It's hard to think of it coming from a place of resentment when it's coming from a place of the pain and helplessness that characterizes the worst of my disorder for me, but I'll take another look at it and see what I can do. I appreciate you giving it the time. I hope you have a great day.
Comment from Terry Broxson
A very emotional poem about a difficult subject. I have no personal idea what kind of challenge this must be like. But I do think that your poem has great pathos and imagery. I think the third stanza is particularly well written. Good job.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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A very emotional poem about a difficult subject. I have no personal idea what kind of challenge this must be like. But I do think that your poem has great pathos and imagery. I think the third stanza is particularly well written. Good job.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate it and I hope you have a great day.