The Classroom War
My first battle27 total reviews
Comment from John Ciarmello
Your story telling abilities are beyond compare. I have to applaud Ms. Clarkson for her composure and professionalism. I've always wanted to rip into someone this way, however, I would never have thought about it in sixth grade, and with an adult (teacher) to boot. This is clearly exceptional work! You have all my respect, sir.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2022
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Your story telling abilities are beyond compare. I have to applaud Ms. Clarkson for her composure and professionalism. I've always wanted to rip into someone this way, however, I would never have thought about it in sixth grade, and with an adult (teacher) to boot. This is clearly exceptional work! You have all my respect, sir.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2022
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Thank you very much.
Comment from dragonpoet
Lancellot, This is a well written story. It reads smoothly and quicklly. He is a smart aleck and deserved what he got. He is way to smart mouthed for a 6th grader. I didn't realize there was so much differnce between the logic of a 5th grader and a 6th grader.
In paragraph 7 you forgot the word my before remarks.
Congrats for winning the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2022
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Lancellot, This is a well written story. It reads smoothly and quicklly. He is a smart aleck and deserved what he got. He is way to smart mouthed for a 6th grader. I didn't realize there was so much differnce between the logic of a 5th grader and a 6th grader.
In paragraph 7 you forgot the word my before remarks.
Congrats for winning the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
Comment Written 28-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2022
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Thank you very much, Joan. You have great eyes. I appreciate it.
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You are most kindly welcome
Joan
Comment from L. Kalere
This is so satisfying in so many ways. What a cheeky little boy... whose saving grace is that he learned a lesson and could admit to it. Great humor, great tension, well written... outstanding in every way. Congratulations!.
Linda
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This is so satisfying in so many ways. What a cheeky little boy... whose saving grace is that he learned a lesson and could admit to it. Great humor, great tension, well written... outstanding in every way. Congratulations!.
Linda
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
Comment from kiwisteveh
Great story, Lance. Well done and congratulations on the contest win.
I think the tipping point for moving it from a good yarn to an exceptional one is the denouement - the sudden realisation that the war was lost, not won after all. Very clever write and, I assume, based on some kind of personal experience.
Steve
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Great story, Lance. Well done and congratulations on the contest win.
I think the tipping point for moving it from a good yarn to an exceptional one is the denouement - the sudden realisation that the war was lost, not won after all. Very clever write and, I assume, based on some kind of personal experience.
Steve
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Thank you, Steve.
Comment from Annmuma
First place is exactly what this story deserved. Very well written and interesting from the first word. Creative. the imagery is outstanding. And the moral of the story--: t he best way to win a war is not to start one -- is right on. The presentation is great. Congrats. ann
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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First place is exactly what this story deserved. Very well written and interesting from the first word. Creative. the imagery is outstanding. And the moral of the story--: t he best way to win a war is not to start one -- is right on. The presentation is great. Congrats. ann
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Thank you very much, Ann.
Comment from BethShelby
Nicely done. It is hard to believe that you actually went to this length with a teacher but if you said all this I can understand why you won the contest. It is a well-written account of a classroom struggle that not many kid would dare engage in.
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Nicely done. It is hard to believe that you actually went to this length with a teacher but if you said all this I can understand why you won the contest. It is a well-written account of a classroom struggle that not many kid would dare engage in.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
Comment from juliaSjames
Congratulations on your well deserved win. I was fascinated by this account of insubordination. I daresay you were 11 or 12 and feeling your oats..But what intrigued me was the reason for attacking the teacher. I wonder if it was really the reason stated in your write. To me it seems you didn't want to be bossed around by a woman as reference the "little girl" jibe..Pity the young Lance didn't get to complete his training with Grandpa!
My sons went through the acting out phase, but they were gender neutral about whom they attacked and picked their ground with care, using the group approach.. Example: the little scoundrels made a pact to get back at an unpopular teacher. They approached their parents with the same story that the teacher was arrogant and unfair. This was just before a class conference. All the parents dutifully reported what their kids had said. The teacher was investigated and fired..It was an international fee paying school and the parents had clout.
Stay safe and blessed
Julia
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Congratulations on your well deserved win. I was fascinated by this account of insubordination. I daresay you were 11 or 12 and feeling your oats..But what intrigued me was the reason for attacking the teacher. I wonder if it was really the reason stated in your write. To me it seems you didn't want to be bossed around by a woman as reference the "little girl" jibe..Pity the young Lance didn't get to complete his training with Grandpa!
My sons went through the acting out phase, but they were gender neutral about whom they attacked and picked their ground with care, using the group approach.. Example: the little scoundrels made a pact to get back at an unpopular teacher. They approached their parents with the same story that the teacher was arrogant and unfair. This was just before a class conference. All the parents dutifully reported what their kids had said. The teacher was investigated and fired..It was an international fee paying school and the parents had clout.
Stay safe and blessed
Julia
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
Comment from Terry Broxson
An excellent contest winner! A pre-teen genius is a tough saddle to wear. Not, that I would know of course, but it does sound like it would be tough. Maybe a little hubris was thrown in as well. A great story!
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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An excellent contest winner! A pre-teen genius is a tough saddle to wear. Not, that I would know of course, but it does sound like it would be tough. Maybe a little hubris was thrown in as well. A great story!
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Debra White
Hello :)
I really enjoyed reading your true story. It was entertaining and engaging. I love that you included a 'Dear Diary' too - a great touch.
I was tickled by the thought of a chill sweeping through the classroom when Ms Clarkson took her glasses off! That spoke volumes about the change of atmosphere in the room and of the exchange that was about to take place. Nice!
Out of curiosity, can you tell me how old 6th grade children are?
In our UK schools, year 6 children are 10-11yrs.
Congrats on earning first place in the contest :)
Best wishes, Debra
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Hello :)
I really enjoyed reading your true story. It was entertaining and engaging. I love that you included a 'Dear Diary' too - a great touch.
I was tickled by the thought of a chill sweeping through the classroom when Ms Clarkson took her glasses off! That spoke volumes about the change of atmosphere in the room and of the exchange that was about to take place. Nice!
Out of curiosity, can you tell me how old 6th grade children are?
In our UK schools, year 6 children are 10-11yrs.
Congrats on earning first place in the contest :)
Best wishes, Debra
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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It's the same here, 6th grade is usually 10 or 11.
Thank you very much.
Comment from Contests
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 A contest winning entry! A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for posting the winning contest entry. |
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022