Heart Crafted Poems - 2022
Viewing comments for Chapter 39 "Please see us!"Musings of an old man - 2022
34 total reviews
Comment from Teri7
This is a very well written poem that is full of the truth. It is so sad to see someone with a sign up that says work for food or just needing something. You used very good descriptive words and very neat imagery from the art work you chose. Thank you for sharing this. Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2022
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This is a very well written poem that is full of the truth. It is so sad to see someone with a sign up that says work for food or just needing something. You used very good descriptive words and very neat imagery from the art work you chose. Thank you for sharing this. Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 29-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2022
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Teri7
Comment from Donna G. (aka Sam Duck)
Yes, my heart laments at how we as a society treat the people that need us the most. It's easy to have them disappear from your consciousness, to block them out - but I can't help but think that they are someone's loved one - or have been. Someone's son or daughter. And my heart just bleeds. Thank you for bringing this issue back to my attention! It's a great poem!
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2022
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Yes, my heart laments at how we as a society treat the people that need us the most. It's easy to have them disappear from your consciousness, to block them out - but I can't help but think that they are someone's loved one - or have been. Someone's son or daughter. And my heart just bleeds. Thank you for bringing this issue back to my attention! It's a great poem!
Comment Written 29-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2022
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Sam Duck< I appreciate your review and comments on the issue of homelessness.
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Please See Us, reminds me of Matthew 25:35-36
"For I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave me something to drink; I was a stranger and you invited me in; I needed clothes and you clothed me..."
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2022
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This poem, Please See Us, reminds me of Matthew 25:35-36
"For I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave me something to drink; I was a stranger and you invited me in; I needed clothes and you clothed me..."
Comment Written 29-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2022
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Bill, yes we truly need to heed these words for these truly disadvantaged souls. I do realize that this is a worldwide problem and will take leadership with an extra dose of Faith to change societies worldview in this topic.
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
'Please see us! ', is an extremely well-written and deftly descriptive piece. This talented poet's work was a privilege to both read and review. Good luck with the contest. My fingers are crossed for you!
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2022
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'Please see us! ', is an extremely well-written and deftly descriptive piece. This talented poet's work was a privilege to both read and review. Good luck with the contest. My fingers are crossed for you!
Comment Written 29-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2022
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Thank you, dear friend.
JLR,
You're very welcome.
the Duchess
Comment from karenina
Love the message of the poem, and I applaud you for tackling these fifteen syllable lines
No easy feat!
I'm likely wrong, but seem to be counting eleven lines here, rather than the required ten?
Also your rhyme scheme appears to be
AA
BB
CCCC --(an extra C?)
A
B
C
I'm not about the dinging of stars...we're all here learning and growing.
If I am scanning a his wrong please correct me and I will update my review!
I've tried this form a time or four...it can be a bear!
Karenina
Addendum to review: JLR did have an extravp line and he promptly corrected it with a most gracious thank you! :)
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2022
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Love the message of the poem, and I applaud you for tackling these fifteen syllable lines
No easy feat!
I'm likely wrong, but seem to be counting eleven lines here, rather than the required ten?
Also your rhyme scheme appears to be
AA
BB
CCCC --(an extra C?)
A
B
C
I'm not about the dinging of stars...we're all here learning and growing.
If I am scanning a his wrong please correct me and I will update my review!
I've tried this form a time or four...it can be a bear!
Karenina
Addendum to review: JLR did have an extravp line and he promptly corrected it with a most gracious thank you! :)
Comment Written 29-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2022
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Karenina - OMG 😒😒 you were so correct and I didn't even catch that. My BAD! Thank you I did have an extra stanza.
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I've made this same error in this same form.... Proving how very human we are! I was reluctant to point it out and kept counting over and over! Whew--all is well that gets edited! (smile)--Karenina
Comment from l.raven
Hi Jim, I wish I could hit the lottery...
I would build a place like Boys Town...
but for the homeless...these are hard times...
and people need help...not everyone of them
is a fraud...sigh...
I love your poem my sweet friend...and your
picture says it all...vert well written...love Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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Hi Jim, I wish I could hit the lottery...
I would build a place like Boys Town...
but for the homeless...these are hard times...
and people need help...not everyone of them
is a fraud...sigh...
I love your poem my sweet friend...and your
picture says it all...vert well written...love Linda xxoo
Comment Written 28-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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I know exactly what you mean! I have always known what I would do with a big windfall as in the lottery, like you it would be put to great opportunities to effect positive change in as man6 lives as feasible. So, we shall dream the big dreams for one another.
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that's a good idea...sweet and lucky dreams...sigh...smiling big...love xxoo
Comment from Frank Malley
I think the Congresspersons are 'make-believe-stars'. Meanwhile: introduce us to these people instead of creating a dull encyclopedia of suffering. Let the reader meet 'Eloise, whose piano box home/fell apart in the storm' or, 'Ronnie, the vet who only talks about/ a million kinds of candies and nods all the time.' Individuals and real experience make better poetry than generalizations about bad and good outcomes, winners and losers as boring groups. I know this is piece conforms to some strangely contrived poetic form, and I did not attempt to set this to syllable counts nor did I try to make it look like an overturned girfaffe.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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I think the Congresspersons are 'make-believe-stars'. Meanwhile: introduce us to these people instead of creating a dull encyclopedia of suffering. Let the reader meet 'Eloise, whose piano box home/fell apart in the storm' or, 'Ronnie, the vet who only talks about/ a million kinds of candies and nods all the time.' Individuals and real experience make better poetry than generalizations about bad and good outcomes, winners and losers as boring groups. I know this is piece conforms to some strangely contrived poetic form, and I did not attempt to set this to syllable counts nor did I try to make it look like an overturned girfaffe.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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Frank great input perhaps you might look at my poem Nowhere land?
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Your contest entry speaks volumes about our society. Thank you for putting it into words and making this beautiful contest entry out of those words. Good luck.
Congressperson, you made to believe czars, driving fancy wheels,
Take heed. Judgment day awaits one and all for its holy writ. (AMEN!!!)
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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Your contest entry speaks volumes about our society. Thank you for putting it into words and making this beautiful contest entry out of those words. Good luck.
Congressperson, you made to believe czars, driving fancy wheels,
Take heed. Judgment day awaits one and all for its holy writ. (AMEN!!!)
Comment Written 28-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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Oh, yes! Thank you so much, Barbara.
Comment from ElPoetry001
Excellent overview of the unforgivable conditions that many people are subjected to because they are without the requisite skills of industry or the wealth of a family, or the protection of government.
Our metaphorical house is divided, and the conditions that are our piled on the least of us, will soon rise to a level where they will tip over unto the high rise apartments and luxury cars of the exalted.
Mental illness, drug addiction, and alcohol addiction, are the causes of the misfortune of many; brought on by the war of greed that has become the motivation of those who seek to rule the world.
Soon, technology will not exist.
Even now people are seeking to inhabit islands that are remote from others. They will arm themselves with weapons to keep others from coming on to their islands.
This is happening in many countries of the world.
In the United States many groups of people live in gated communities, with their private security, and their warehouses for food water, and weapons.
And so it begins, as "the four horsemen" became more visible and the whirlwind forms.
"What's in your survival plan?"
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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Excellent overview of the unforgivable conditions that many people are subjected to because they are without the requisite skills of industry or the wealth of a family, or the protection of government.
Our metaphorical house is divided, and the conditions that are our piled on the least of us, will soon rise to a level where they will tip over unto the high rise apartments and luxury cars of the exalted.
Mental illness, drug addiction, and alcohol addiction, are the causes of the misfortune of many; brought on by the war of greed that has become the motivation of those who seek to rule the world.
Soon, technology will not exist.
Even now people are seeking to inhabit islands that are remote from others. They will arm themselves with weapons to keep others from coming on to their islands.
This is happening in many countries of the world.
In the United States many groups of people live in gated communities, with their private security, and their warehouses for food water, and weapons.
And so it begins, as "the four horsemen" became more visible and the whirlwind forms.
"What's in your survival plan?"
Comment Written 28-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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El Poetry ... Yes, yes and yes! My survival plan, shelter in place and hunker down! The thin edge of societal upheaval is weakening everyday. Politian's, Big Government, Big Banks, Big Oil is all a huge falsity and then they control media to tell people Trust us! UGH!!!
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Stay well.
Comment from Wendy G
The disparity between rich and poor seems to be increasing. The rich become richer and the poor become poorer. Sad and unfortunate that we who have much are blind to the needs of others. Well written plea for compassion and grace, and a reminder that we all will be held accountable.
Wendy
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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The disparity between rich and poor seems to be increasing. The rich become richer and the poor become poorer. Sad and unfortunate that we who have much are blind to the needs of others. Well written plea for compassion and grace, and a reminder that we all will be held accountable.
Wendy
Comment Written 28-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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Wendy, yes this is so true, thank you.