What Would You Like to Do Today?
Dr Seuss type poem for kids ~let the comma guide the rhythm30 total reviews
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
I hope you find something to do; it is disgusting when people run your life isn't it? Some people like to be boss....it is not an easy fun life for sure when that happens. So, the big thing, sit back and continue reading Dr. Seuss's books.
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
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I hope you find something to do; it is disgusting when people run your life isn't it? Some people like to be boss....it is not an easy fun life for sure when that happens. So, the big thing, sit back and continue reading Dr. Seuss's books.
Comment Written 18-May-2022
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
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Hahahaha, oh Rosemary you crack me up and truly make me smile.
Thank you my friend for such a fun review!
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
Great child's poem. Lots of rhyming keeps a kid's interest and attention. Yes, very reminiscent of Dr. Seuss. I can imagine your kids love to join in with you when it's time to read your own 'homemade' rhymes.
Very good.
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
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Great child's poem. Lots of rhyming keeps a kid's interest and attention. Yes, very reminiscent of Dr. Seuss. I can imagine your kids love to join in with you when it's time to read your own 'homemade' rhymes.
Very good.
Comment Written 18-May-2022
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
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Thanks Gary! I wish there was a different way to get into the rhythm instead of those pesty commas. But it would take too many to use the tilde in place of it. Lol, I know pesty isn't a word, but oh well! But thank you so very much for your very kind review and comments. I sure appreciate it!
Comment from Bill Schott
This children's poem, What Would You Like to Do Today?, presented in rhyming couplets, takes us through an almost croquet game and a fun time at the zoo. Funny.
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
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This children's poem, What Would You Like to Do Today?, presented in rhyming couplets, takes us through an almost croquet game and a fun time at the zoo. Funny.
Comment Written 18-May-2022
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
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Thanks Bill! I wish there was a different way to get into the rhythm instead of those pesty commas. But it would take too many to use the tilde in place of it. Lol, I know pesty isn't a word, but oh well! But thank you so very much for your very kind review and comments. I sure appreciate it!
Comment from Fleedleflump
Aww, I love that you end on an invitation, making this as inclusive a poem as could be. Loved the bouncy rhythm and tight rhymes that kept this moving quickly and played on the instruments of joy.
Mike
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
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Aww, I love that you end on an invitation, making this as inclusive a poem as could be. Loved the bouncy rhythm and tight rhymes that kept this moving quickly and played on the instruments of joy.
Mike
Comment Written 18-May-2022
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
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Thanks Mike, I love that you caught that in the end, where only a few commented on it. I wish there was a different way to get into the rhythm instead of those pesty commas. But it would take too many to use the tilde in place of it. Lol, I know pesty isn't a word, but oh well! But thank you so very much for your very kind review and comments. I sure appreciate it!
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a cute poem that sounds like Dr Suess with all the internal and end rhymes. No need to read the notes to figure this out. It shows the imagination of children. It shows imagination to put the croquet game in a cafe. It can us table and chairs as wickets. I like the last line that says we were invited to enjoy the fun.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Good luck in the contest.
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
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This is a cute poem that sounds like Dr Suess with all the internal and end rhymes. No need to read the notes to figure this out. It shows the imagination of children. It shows imagination to put the croquet game in a cafe. It can us table and chairs as wickets. I like the last line that says we were invited to enjoy the fun.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Good luck in the contest.
dragonpoet
Comment Written 18-May-2022
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
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Thanks so much! I wish there was a different way to get into the rhythm instead of those pesty commas. But it would take too many to use the tilde in place of it. Lol, I know pesty isn't a word, but oh well! But thank you so very much for your very kind review and comments. I sure appreciate it!
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Don't mention it. I think the word you're looking for instead of pesty is pesky.
dp
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
This was a fun children's poem, author, I'm sure children will love reading it out loud, or having it read to them. The zoo was a popular place to take children to, so I'm sure most will be able to relate to it. Well done, and good luck!! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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This was a fun children's poem, author, I'm sure children will love reading it out loud, or having it read to them. The zoo was a popular place to take children to, so I'm sure most will be able to relate to it. Well done, and good luck!! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 18-May-2022
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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Sandra, thank you so much for your kind review of my children's poem.
I appreciate your lovely comments as well!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello,
An awesome entry for the Children's Poem writing prompt Contest. It flows well with beautifully descriptive words that paint a clear mental picture.
The theme about things to do with kids is so much fun. I have grandchildren, we play all kid of games too.
The rhyme doesn'tseem forced.
Well done! I wish you the best in the contest.
Gypsy Blue Rose
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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Hello,
An awesome entry for the Children's Poem writing prompt Contest. It flows well with beautifully descriptive words that paint a clear mental picture.
The theme about things to do with kids is so much fun. I have grandchildren, we play all kid of games too.
The rhyme doesn'tseem forced.
Well done! I wish you the best in the contest.
Gypsy Blue Rose
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
Comment Written 18-May-2022
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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Ms Gypsy, I thank you so much for your kind review of my children's poem.
I appreciate your lovely comments as well! And I really love the quote from Atticus!
Comment from lyenochka
This is fun with the repeated rhymes throughout. It's not the trochaic meter of Seuss's Green Eggs and Ham, but it has the same feel of engaging in doing things and the repetition. Hope you do well in the contest!
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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This is fun with the repeated rhymes throughout. It's not the trochaic meter of Seuss's Green Eggs and Ham, but it has the same feel of engaging in doing things and the repetition. Hope you do well in the contest!
Comment Written 17-May-2022
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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I thank you so much for your kind review of my children's poem.
I appreciate your lovely comments as well!. You are always so gracious!
Debi
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You did well - almost third place! Glad you entered the contest. There's a site contest for kids' poems. Hope you'll enter that one, too.
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Thank you, and there were so many lovely poems in the contest so I was pleased to do that well. Are you referring the children's poetryentered my poem the end of March. I was just so excited to finally be following my dream, writing among such (talented people and joining contests .If that one isn't the one you were talking about, please ert me me 'now so I can Thank. Thaenk you again!.
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Look in the Contest Listing menu. You will find one that says Children's Poetry Contest. It's due in six days.
https://www.fanstory.com/contestdetails.jsp?id=108205
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Ok, it is the same one I wrote for in March and will promote again a few days. It is called, " A Fun Place to go "
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Thank you for being so kind and helpful!
Comment from lindafisher
Ha ha this is such an amusing poem. I love the repetition of some of the lines. I have never read a Dr Zeus poem so this style is very new to me. I enjoyed it immensely.
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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Ha ha this is such an amusing poem. I love the repetition of some of the lines. I have never read a Dr Zeus poem so this style is very new to me. I enjoyed it immensely.
Comment Written 17-May-2022
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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Oh thank you Linda! They do tend to get a little silly, and the commas are a bit much, but without they would be just a bunch of rhyming words that don't really make sense. Thank you again for your lovely review and such kind words. So Appreciated!
Comment from LJbutterfly
The story idea is lovely. All of the rhymes work well. However, observing the pause at commas, I had to read some lines twice to get the intended rhythm. The stanza that begins, "I should be ready in just a few," works perfectly, but the rhythm is different in the very next stanza. If your grandchildren helped create some of the lines, they did a fantastic job and I hope they had fun. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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The story idea is lovely. All of the rhymes work well. However, observing the pause at commas, I had to read some lines twice to get the intended rhythm. The stanza that begins, "I should be ready in just a few," works perfectly, but the rhythm is different in the very next stanza. If your grandchildren helped create some of the lines, they did a fantastic job and I hope they had fun. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 17-May-2022
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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Thank you my friend, for the lovely review and fun comments! When I read them back myself, sometimes I have to start over to get the rhythm right.
I have found they work best if your read them fast In the style of Dr Seuss, he never really had one rhythm to all his story's, but I think that is what made them most fun. Thank you again for such a kind review!