Kind and Caring
Always ...21 total reviews
Comment from Teri7
This is a very interesting 250 word Flash Fiction you have penned for the contest. You used very good descriptive words. Best wishes in the contest. love and blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2022
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This is a very interesting 250 word Flash Fiction you have penned for the contest. You used very good descriptive words. Best wishes in the contest. love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 17-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2022
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Thank you Teri! Lovely review. Not my usual style of story though. Lol.
Wendy
Comment from Rachelle Allen
This has that O. Henry quality to it that I absolutely love. It's why Flash is my favorite kind of fiction. Though your word-count was limited, you chose them well. It was full of description and imagery, kept me intrigued and never once felt "rushed," which happens often with this genre.
Super good piece; I can easily see why it was a fan favorite!
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2022
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This has that O. Henry quality to it that I absolutely love. It's why Flash is my favorite kind of fiction. Though your word-count was limited, you chose them well. It was full of description and imagery, kept me intrigued and never once felt "rushed," which happens often with this genre.
Super good piece; I can easily see why it was a fan favorite!
Comment Written 15-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2022
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Thank you very much Rachelle - very kind words. You are right about Flash Fiction - every word must count, and be there for a purpose.
Wendy
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Yes. And that's why I have a kind of love/hate relationship with it...
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Wendy,
This is excellent writing. John wasn't counting on his wife condemning him on the phone. As sick as she was, and with labored breathing, she blamed him for not calling an ambulance. She knew he was letting her go. She probably didn't know that he was ready to start an affair with an ex-colleague. Was he guilty of murder? He thought he was in the clear, but her message on the phone came in loud and clear... "Guilty as charged!"
He was a doomed man.
Very nice for the 250 Word Flash Fiction contest! I count 242 words. Do you have to be right on the 250 mark? Is there some leeway? I count hyphenated words as one word... like "ex-colleague". If you needed 2 words, you could write "former colleague".
Then, there's "No-one". You could have written "No one" for 2 words. But "Noone" is definitely wrong.
"Semi-conscious" is one word. "Semiconscious" is also one word and acceptable.
I'm sure something like this has happened, and the surviving spouse was never found out. Only God knows the truth, and nothing escapes His judgement.
Good Luck in the contest! Bravo!
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2022
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Hi Wendy,
This is excellent writing. John wasn't counting on his wife condemning him on the phone. As sick as she was, and with labored breathing, she blamed him for not calling an ambulance. She knew he was letting her go. She probably didn't know that he was ready to start an affair with an ex-colleague. Was he guilty of murder? He thought he was in the clear, but her message on the phone came in loud and clear... "Guilty as charged!"
He was a doomed man.
Very nice for the 250 Word Flash Fiction contest! I count 242 words. Do you have to be right on the 250 mark? Is there some leeway? I count hyphenated words as one word... like "ex-colleague". If you needed 2 words, you could write "former colleague".
Then, there's "No-one". You could have written "No one" for 2 words. But "Noone" is definitely wrong.
"Semi-conscious" is one word. "Semiconscious" is also one word and acceptable.
I'm sure something like this has happened, and the surviving spouse was never found out. Only God knows the truth, and nothing escapes His judgement.
Good Luck in the contest! Bravo!
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 28-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2022
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Thanks Kimbob for your detailed review. My computer and also the FanStory count were both exactly 250 but they count a dash as a word, and I think that is where the discrepancy lies. The phone call was to his female work colleague who he fancied, but her husband was doing the same thing as HE was doing ie letting his wife die. Lol. Both were bad men, and both wives were victims, but John therefore couldn't start a new relationship. Thanks so much for your good wishes for the contest. Greatly appreciated.
Wendy
Wendy
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a horror story Wendy and I dare say there are few people who have got away with murder this way by actually not doing anything to save their spouse! Ann inventive and entertaining write, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2022
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This is a horror story Wendy and I dare say there are few people who have got away with murder this way by actually not doing anything to save their spouse! Ann inventive and entertaining write, love Dolly x
Comment Written 26-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2022
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Thank you Dolly. Not my usual style, but ? it crossed my mind that it would be fairly easy to get away with something like this.
Wendy
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Oh dear! That backfired badly! So the two husbands are going to let their wives die, John so he can run off with the wife of the second husband, who is doing what John's doing. What a great twist in the tail!! Well done, Wendy. This is a great contest entry, Wendy, very well done, and good luck!! :)) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2022
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Oh dear! That backfired badly! So the two husbands are going to let their wives die, John so he can run off with the wife of the second husband, who is doing what John's doing. What a great twist in the tail!! Well done, Wendy. This is a great contest entry, Wendy, very well done, and good luck!! :)) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 26-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2022
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Thank you Sarah! What a lovely review, and I appreciate it a lot, along with your good wishes. I?m glad you enjoyed it.
Wendy
Comment from pome lover
wow! what a "double whammy" as I think Li'l Abner or somebody used to say. I didn't expect first, that the the respectable hubby would just let his wife die and THEN, for le femme's hubby to do the same thing to her - what an ending! double whammy! well done!
You got a lot of plot into 250 words, especially with all the effects at the end.
Good luck in the contest!
Katharine
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2022
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wow! what a "double whammy" as I think Li'l Abner or somebody used to say. I didn't expect first, that the the respectable hubby would just let his wife die and THEN, for le femme's hubby to do the same thing to her - what an ending! double whammy! well done!
You got a lot of plot into 250 words, especially with all the effects at the end.
Good luck in the contest!
Katharine
Comment Written 25-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2022
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Thank you Katharine! I am so glad you enjoyed it (if that's the right word! Lol.) I had a bit of fun with this ... but I did wonder if it had ever happened. I love your review - and thanks too for the good wishes. Appreciated.
Wendy
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Oh, I did enjoy it! and surprises are great. and double surprises, well, the cat's meow. :) It would have made a great Twilight Zone story.
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Love it! Glad you got a double surprise!
Comment from lyenochka
Oh what a sinister plot you revealed under the covers of being a "good husband." So he didn't test himself because he didn't want to be found out that he intentionally infected his wife. But it seems that same plot was used against the one John was in love with. I guess Covid could be used as a murder weapon. Best wishes in the contest!
Suggestion:
he would only have a mild dose. (case?)
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2022
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Oh what a sinister plot you revealed under the covers of being a "good husband." So he didn't test himself because he didn't want to be found out that he intentionally infected his wife. But it seems that same plot was used against the one John was in love with. I guess Covid could be used as a murder weapon. Best wishes in the contest!
Suggestion:
he would only have a mild dose. (case?)
Comment Written 25-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2022
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Thank you Helen. For your insightful review and good wishes. And for the suggestion, which I have adopted - thanks for that too. I do wonder if such a thing has ever happened?.
Wendy
Comment from LisaMay
Well goodness me, this took a sinister turn for the worse, morally and health-wise. I wonder how many covid deaths are due to unfaithful partners waiting for 'the perfect cover'? Told with true flash-fiction delivery of a caught-unawares-ending.
After getting over the double 'had' in the 1st paragraph, the 2nd para had me confused initially, as I thought 'Unfortunately, he was married' referred to a MALE ex-colleague.
I don't think the first appearance of the words 'had just' are necessary in this sentence. 'One of these friends had just notified John that three of the group had just tested positive to Covid.' = 'One of these friends notified John that three of the group had just tested positive to Covid.' It still provides the feeling of immediacy.
It'll affect the word count, but I'm sure you'll be able to amend elsewhere.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2022
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Well goodness me, this took a sinister turn for the worse, morally and health-wise. I wonder how many covid deaths are due to unfaithful partners waiting for 'the perfect cover'? Told with true flash-fiction delivery of a caught-unawares-ending.
After getting over the double 'had' in the 1st paragraph, the 2nd para had me confused initially, as I thought 'Unfortunately, he was married' referred to a MALE ex-colleague.
I don't think the first appearance of the words 'had just' are necessary in this sentence. 'One of these friends had just notified John that three of the group had just tested positive to Covid.' = 'One of these friends notified John that three of the group had just tested positive to Covid.' It still provides the feeling of immediacy.
It'll affect the word count, but I'm sure you'll be able to amend elsewhere.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much. You found a few nits that I have now fixed, and made it smoother, still exactly 250 words. I appreciate your help. I can?t nominate you as a reviewer as I have used my quota but I will next month. I value your clear insights.
Wendy
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Thanks Wendy. I'm pleased my fresh eyes proved useful. I read your story again - good amendments.
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Thanks so much. I always value your clear thinking and good eyes.
Comment from royowen
That's the perfect plot, but a great and evil one, no one thinks of a good man plotting to kill his wife, but he would still be found out in the long run, but it might be difficult to prove, I gave you five for the other one Wendy, but it was a six, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2022
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That's the perfect plot, but a great and evil one, no one thinks of a good man plotting to kill his wife, but he would still be found out in the long run, but it might be difficult to prove, I gave you five for the other one Wendy, but it was a six, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 25-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2022
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Thanks so much Roy. Yes, it was different from my normal stories. Thank you very much for the validation of six stars. Greatly appreciated!
Wendy
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Well done
Comment from jessizero
This was a great piece of flash fiction. The man definitely got what he deserved, but the wives really lost out. I didn't see the end coming! Thanks for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2022
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This was a great piece of flash fiction. The man definitely got what he deserved, but the wives really lost out. I didn't see the end coming! Thanks for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2022
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Thank you Jessi. I appreciate your thoughtful review and encouragement.
Wendy