Tanka Collection
Viewing comments for Chapter 178 "Heron Siege"Romantic Tanka Poems
9 total reviews
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Gypsy Queen,
I can relate this, not only to the heron, but to humans. Some of us fly, some stay knee-deep in the marshy quagmire of our own making and misery... and that's just plain sad, especially when we all should know our worth and take flight in the game of life.... regardless of setbacks and the stumbling blocks.
As always your composition and presentation is impeccable senora lobo.
With our thoughts we create...
our choice to soar.
Warmest regards,
James.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2023
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Hi Gypsy Queen,
I can relate this, not only to the heron, but to humans. Some of us fly, some stay knee-deep in the marshy quagmire of our own making and misery... and that's just plain sad, especially when we all should know our worth and take flight in the game of life.... regardless of setbacks and the stumbling blocks.
As always your composition and presentation is impeccable senora lobo.
With our thoughts we create...
our choice to soar.
Warmest regards,
James.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2023
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Thank you, James, as always, an stellar review with the best review ever. Very insightful and right on the money.
Novalis
Gypsy Queen
"May your sails always billow and your boat remain free from the doldrums." - anonymous
Comment from AP Apgar
I like your creative tanka poem - Excellent picture presentation- I Especially like the lower picture - very nice - good syllable count - poem paints a clear picture of the heron's flying away and leaving a lonely heron behind - knee deep - nice - in sorrow - like this metaphor - Good job - AP
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2023
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I like your creative tanka poem - Excellent picture presentation- I Especially like the lower picture - very nice - good syllable count - poem paints a clear picture of the heron's flying away and leaving a lonely heron behind - knee deep - nice - in sorrow - like this metaphor - Good job - AP
Comment Written 23-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2023
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Thank you very much for taking the time to read and review my poem.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from aryr
I remember from my study in French that it was the number '5', Gypsy. I also remember that a tanka consisted of five lines. The dual pictures were wonderful with the siege of herons. This was a great job, very well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessed Be n Hugs!!!
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2023
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I remember from my study in French that it was the number '5', Gypsy. I also remember that a tanka consisted of five lines. The dual pictures were wonderful with the siege of herons. This was a great job, very well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessed Be n Hugs!!!
Comment Written 23-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2023
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Thank you very much for taking the time to read and review my poem. Blessed be.
Gypsy hugs
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Most welcome, Gypsy.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
We have numerous Herons around the Gulf and it's marshes in Texas. They are interesting just to sit and watch them. I was saddened to ponder why this heron was left and grieving. Your presentation is perfect as usual.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2023
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We have numerous Herons around the Gulf and it's marshes in Texas. They are interesting just to sit and watch them. I was saddened to ponder why this heron was left and grieving. Your presentation is perfect as usual.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2023
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With haiku and other Japanese poetry the poems is about the an observation between nature and the observer, we don't what herons feel but somehow the poet was interpretation that moment in time...maybe reflecting his own sorrow. You can't take it literally, as with many poems. It's a zen concept. I love that about it
Thank you very much for taking the time to read and review my poem.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from shelley kaye
maybe for the third line: "ONE left behind still"?
(since you just used "heron in first line)
just a thought ;)
the pics are perfect for the poem!
great form combo!
thank you for sharing :-)
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2023
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maybe for the third line: "ONE left behind still"?
(since you just used "heron in first line)
just a thought ;)
the pics are perfect for the poem!
great form combo!
thank you for sharing :-)
Comment Written 23-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2023
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A siege is the name of a group of herons, I wrote that in my author notes
Thank you very much for taking the time to read and review my poem.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Paul Manton
Thank you, Gypsy. Beautiful as always - and, as a bonus, you write about my favorite bird. My extended poem, 'Tsuru' is part of a song cycle, which part by part will be unleashed on an unsuspecting FanStory! Later.
I am surprised by this 'mongrel' form, since it is neither a tanka, nor a cinquain (and I don't need to explain that) but, we are always finding new forms for our expression, so the only important question is: Does it work?
Well, yes, because you have retained the emotional essence of the tanka whilst binding it to the cinquain structure.
The story is poignant: the migratory flight ends in tragedy for one poor bird; 'dying' and 'decaying' are key words in the dark color of the verse; your image is brilliantly constructed.
RIP, Tsuru, my friend.
Paul
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2023
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Thank you, Gypsy. Beautiful as always - and, as a bonus, you write about my favorite bird. My extended poem, 'Tsuru' is part of a song cycle, which part by part will be unleashed on an unsuspecting FanStory! Later.
I am surprised by this 'mongrel' form, since it is neither a tanka, nor a cinquain (and I don't need to explain that) but, we are always finding new forms for our expression, so the only important question is: Does it work?
Well, yes, because you have retained the emotional essence of the tanka whilst binding it to the cinquain structure.
The story is poignant: the migratory flight ends in tragedy for one poor bird; 'dying' and 'decaying' are key words in the dark color of the verse; your image is brilliantly constructed.
RIP, Tsuru, my friend.
Paul
Comment Written 23-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2023
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Paul,
Thank you very much for taking the time to read and review my poem. Excellent feedback.
Gypsy hugs
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Not sure if you got my last comment.
You're welcome, Gypsy.
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Thanks, Gypsy.
Paul
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No
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Sorry, Gypsy, I've lost the plot here.
'No' refers to what?
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sorry, it was very late and 'no' is all i could give. I was very dissapointed with the site. I was having problems accessing my poems in one of my books. It was a technical problem but my goal is two poems a day and I couldn't do that. It had nothing to do
with you. Sorry.
hugs
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I don't your being enigmatic, Gypsy.
Comment from JSD
Aww. Poor heron. I'm not sure I get why everything is Japanese. Maybe there should be some alexandrines or some hexameter? Anyway. I digress. This is another beautiful collection/connection of sounds, ideas and perfectly selected words. Gorgeous!
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2023
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Aww. Poor heron. I'm not sure I get why everything is Japanese. Maybe there should be some alexandrines or some hexameter? Anyway. I digress. This is another beautiful collection/connection of sounds, ideas and perfectly selected words. Gorgeous!
Comment Written 23-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2023
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Japanese almost always not rhymed or metered. It's free verse using common people conversational speech form, but sometimes the poem rhymes unintentionally. I write a lot of types of Japanese poetry and I only have seen one type that uses rhyme in a song form.
Thank you very much for taking the time to read and review my poem. You are very kind.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from lyenochka
Oh that's so sad! I guess the heron that was left behind was mourning or grieving a spouse? I always think of herons as solitary birds so I don't see them in a "siege". (By the way, the title has "j" instead of "g")
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2023
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Oh that's so sad! I guess the heron that was left behind was mourning or grieving a spouse? I always think of herons as solitary birds so I don't see them in a "siege". (By the way, the title has "j" instead of "g")
Comment Written 22-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2023
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Thank you, big sister, I corrected that. I appreciate your review.
Love
Marival ❤️
Comment from GWHARGIS
Check the spelling of seige in the title. Unless the j was intentional. I live near a marsh. I love to watch the herons and egrets as the hunt. So statuesque. Unmoving and devoted to the job. Wonderful poem. Gretchen
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2023
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Check the spelling of seige in the title. Unless the j was intentional. I live near a marsh. I love to watch the herons and egrets as the hunt. So statuesque. Unmoving and devoted to the job. Wonderful poem. Gretchen
Comment Written 22-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2023
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Thank you, Gretchen, I fixed that error. I appreciate your kind words and excellent review.
Gypsy hugs