Reviews from

Guided by Faith

Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Faith Chapter 16 A"
Can faith guide our path?

37 total reviews 
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This chapter was supercharged with emotion. Not only is the rapid movement of plot, but we get a chance to see Seth and Emma's relationship deepen. They still aren't admitting girlfriend/boyfriend stays, but their mutual affection and need is growing beautifully.

This chapter had depth and complexity and was a joy to read.

Have a great week,
Rhonda

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2023
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Mia Twysted
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Emma is a very strong-willed character; you can feel it. I love the way you made her feel so rounded. There is something off with these people, and it makes the reader want to know more.

 Comment Written 08-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 09-Aug-2023
    Thank you for the kind support.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Emma just doesn't have much good luck, except for Seth. She always seems to be in the right place at the wrong time. She is very lucky to have Seth and Ace.

 Comment Written 08-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 09-Aug-2023
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Who knew a hug like that would make a difference in the reporting. And the nurse assumed that Seth was Emma's boyfriend! And she's being in his care is also going to make it hard to keep it just a "friendship." Hope they can keep it clear. Or sometime soon, they will have to brave the small town rumors and accept that they really love each other.
Suggestion:
he was doing over eighty." (80) Since it was 40 MPH, I wondered if the number should be numerals. In the APA, any number over ten would be numbers.

 Comment Written 08-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 08-Aug-2023
    Thank you for the catch and you are correct. I have made the change. I appreciate the help.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a detailed chapter, with a surprising twist in the storyline, a car accident. Perhaps it is a little too detailed relative to the events. Also, I would have liked to read more vivacity concerning Emma's reactions, it fell a bit flat. kay

 Comment Written 08-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 08-Aug-2023
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Well, the wreck is out of the way, Emma is out of the hospital, and now, her and Seth can start some rumors. But of course, as we all know, people don't have to do anything wrong to send tongues wagging. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 08-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 08-Aug-2023
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Pam (respa)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a very good chapter, and you handled the accident very well by giving the important details, but not dwelling on the nature of it with unnecessary information about every sordid detail, like the news media tends to do.

It is nice to see Emma appreciate Seth's being there and accepting his help. It was interesting to see some of the details that police have to be aware of in this kind of situation, like Seth not being able to take the deposition because he and Emma had shared a hug.

You also did a good job with the hospital scene, and Seth trying to get Emma to think of pleasant things. It will be interesting to see how the arrangements between Seth and Emma go. I thought you did a great job with some difficult material to describe.

Once small thing:

"She called and said, she was taking Florence Hawkins [no comma; it isn't direct address]

 Comment Written 08-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 08-Aug-2023
    Thank you for the kind review.
reply by Pam (respa) on 08-Aug-2023
    You are welcome.
Comment from Jay Squires
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

It appears they will "have some teeth" in making a conviction stick, regardless of the position of power that the boy's father is in. As with Trump, no one is above the law. But there is still the person that tried to grap her when she was in the nursery. He wasn't Eliot was he?

 Comment Written 08-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 08-Aug-2023
    Thank you for the kind review. Hunter Biden seems to be above the law.
reply by Jay Squires on 08-Aug-2023
    As with anyone, really, backed by political power -- because of the political embarrassment it might cause.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2023
    True, but it's not right, what he and his family are allowed to get by with.
Comment from w.j.debi
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Excellent job raising the concern about Emma. It starts out as a slight doubt at her being late and then escalates by degrees. Sure, she is fine. Let the doctors check please.
So, even the hospital staff thinks that Seth and Emma are boyfriend-girlfriend. It may be inevitable, but they have to discover it for themselves. Great job putting them together so frequently, yet so naturally. You've got to love small towns. LOL

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2023
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from eliz100
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is another excellent chapter. You moved the story along nicely. Emma makes sure she keeps the friend boundary between her and Seth. I do not see any need for improvement. Have a blessed day.

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2023
    Thank you for the kind reivew.