A Matter of Teamwork
Plants and humans working together produce wonders.16 total reviews
Comment from Terry Broxson
Barry, this is fun and very well-written. I was sort of waiting for the ending, thinking the elephant ear might smile, somehow, at Jeremy. I don't know what that would have looked like, but it was a thought. Good luck in the contest. Terry.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2023
  |
Barry, this is fun and very well-written. I was sort of waiting for the ending, thinking the elephant ear might smile, somehow, at Jeremy. I don't know what that would have looked like, but it was a thought. Good luck in the contest. Terry.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2023
-
Terry,
Thanks for the review. I can confess to having the idea of having the plant talk, but it just didn't sit right with me. Your idea may work. I will have to get my plant stories going.
Take care and have a good day.
Cheers
Barry
Comment from CD Richards
This entry meets the brief very well. I'm not sure if plants can hear or understand humans, but they can certainly react to our actions.
I find no faults with the structure or grammar, and the progression of the story and the pace are great. So I'll just mention a few little punctuation glitches, which you may wish to correct, or not.
Extra space before period in P2, sentence 1.
End of P3, question mark missing.
"Clever as me" - missing period.
"Four days plant" - needs comma after "days", also, there is an extra space before "Four".
Not sure if the contest judging has happened yet; if not, hopefully this will help.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2023
|
This entry meets the brief very well. I'm not sure if plants can hear or understand humans, but they can certainly react to our actions.
I find no faults with the structure or grammar, and the progression of the story and the pace are great. So I'll just mention a few little punctuation glitches, which you may wish to correct, or not.
Extra space before period in P2, sentence 1.
End of P3, question mark missing.
"Clever as me" - missing period.
"Four days plant" - needs comma after "days", also, there is an extra space before "Four".
Not sure if the contest judging has happened yet; if not, hopefully this will help.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2023
-
Thanks for your review. Glad you liked it. Thanks also for your suggestions as to amendments etc to punctuation.
The competition is over and this story came down the list but I must admit it has done well on the general listing. You just can never tell.
Take care and have a great day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
It is amazing how plants can come back to life with a little bit of tender loving care and how they can quickly die from neglect. A fine story Barry and I hung onto your every word, much enjoyed, a great entry for the contest, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2023
|
It is amazing how plants can come back to life with a little bit of tender loving care and how they can quickly die from neglect. A fine story Barry and I hung onto your every word, much enjoyed, a great entry for the contest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 18-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2023
-
Thanks Dolly. Glad you enjoyed the story. It was a fun write. Hope you are going well. Keep writing and take care.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
Barry, I liked this very much. It is creative and interesting to read. Great job from beginning to end. You gave Jeremy life, I could see him in the garden working and talking to the plants to be part of his team.
Best wishes,
Mary
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2023
|
Barry, I liked this very much. It is creative and interesting to read. Great job from beginning to end. You gave Jeremy life, I could see him in the garden working and talking to the plants to be part of his team.
Best wishes,
Mary
Comment Written 17-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2023
-
Thanks Mary for your review. I am glad you enjoyed the story. Perhaps plants do listen to humans. Take care and have a wonderful day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Mintybee
This was an interesting mix of narration and dialogue. I like the relationship established between the human characters, and the plant. I did notice one missing period at the end of a sentence, "you recall our talk when I took over the watering" That needs to be fixed, but overall it was a well-told, fun story that I think works well for the contest.
Mintybee
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2023
|
This was an interesting mix of narration and dialogue. I like the relationship established between the human characters, and the plant. I did notice one missing period at the end of a sentence, "you recall our talk when I took over the watering" That needs to be fixed, but overall it was a well-told, fun story that I think works well for the contest.
Mintybee
Comment Written 17-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2023
-
Thanks for your review. Glad you enjoyed the story and thanks for noting the missing period. Yes, I am beginning to believe that plants do listen to us.Take care and have a wonderful day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Beautifully written, and plants do have a soul. They answer the best with words and genuine love. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2023
|
Beautifully written, and plants do have a soul. They answer the best with words and genuine love. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2023
-
Iza,
Thanks for the review and I am so glad you enjoyed the story. Yes, I believe you are correct in that plants do have a soul.
Take care and have a great day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from JSD
Obeying the prompt perfectly. Well done. I hope you do/did well in the competition. I like the narrative first person monologue you use to tell your story and I'm glad it had a happy ending.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2023
|
Obeying the prompt perfectly. Well done. I hope you do/did well in the competition. I like the narrative first person monologue you use to tell your story and I'm glad it had a happy ending.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2023
-
Thanks so much for your review. The competition result was not so successful but the response has been good. That is what is really important to me. Have a great day and take care.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from royowen
I loved this very quirky and interesting post, you've done a great job on it, entertaining, imaginative enough to titillate the cockles of the soul, or is that the heart, I enjoyed it very much, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2023
|
I loved this very quirky and interesting post, you've done a great job on it, entertaining, imaginative enough to titillate the cockles of the soul, or is that the heart, I enjoyed it very much, blessings Roy
Comment Written 17-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2023
-
Roy,
Thanks for your review. Lets go with both the soul and heart lol.Glad you enjoyed and it was a bit of fun to write. You take care and have a wonderful day.
Regards
Barry
-
Well done
Comment from jim vecchio
I wasn't expecting such a positive ending. This was a great entry in that "dying houseplant" competition. You write in clear, easy to read and understand language and your tale was very believable.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2023
|
I wasn't expecting such a positive ending. This was a great entry in that "dying houseplant" competition. You write in clear, easy to read and understand language and your tale was very believable.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2023
-
Jim, Thanks for your review. Glad you enjoyed the story. It was a bit of a spur of the moment job. Keep safe and have a wonderful day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
-
Please keep up your great writing!
Comment from LJbutterfly
You have crafted a nice, simplistic story describing a man and a plant working together to keep a garden beautiful. You tell the reader where the plant is located in the garden and include the purpose of the plant. "You freshen the air and assist the health of all the garden." You provide a satisfying ending with the plant thriving and the man happy. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2023
|
You have crafted a nice, simplistic story describing a man and a plant working together to keep a garden beautiful. You tell the reader where the plant is located in the garden and include the purpose of the plant. "You freshen the air and assist the health of all the garden." You provide a satisfying ending with the plant thriving and the man happy. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2023
-
Thanks for the review. I suppose it sounds crazy talking to a plant but I think they can hear. Take care and have a great day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.